My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

Xavier DeClawfada is a runaway prince of the afterlife who has lived contedly contentedly in his imagined alter ego 'Rex Thunder' for many years. I don't know what this means. What does it mean to be a prince of the afterlife? Also if his alter ego is imagined that means it's not real, so is it only happening in his head? After his escape from the King’s smothering, undying affection, his daily life now consists of pickpocketing enough change for a good hot dog and sleeping under the stars with his loyal pet/best friend. Where? NYC? Another realm? I don't have a feel for setting But when a fallen powerline takes Rex's life, his ghost must juggle finding a cure for a poisoned stranger, fighting against a descent into hopeless insanity, and avoiding the search party sent by his lovesick father. Who is this poisoned stranger and why would he be interested in helping them? Why is he descending into insanity and how is that connected to everything else?

A familiar dynamic of cat and mouse, FRIGHTENED COURAGE explores the lasting psychological effect on male childhood abuse survivors and aims to bring awareness to readers that men can be victims too. If that's the thrust of the book, it needs to be in the query. Right now this just reads like a problem of helicopter parenting. If it's a more intense form of abuse, that needs to be said in the query itself. Basic query questions-- what does the MC want? What stands in their way of getting it? What are they going to do to overcome the obstacles? The MC wants to escape his father, but it needs to be more apparent why. Elucidate how the "cat and mouse" plays out in the narrative, and also what the poisoned stranger has to do with anything.

FRIGHTENED COURAGE is a 108,000 word sci-fantasy novel. It stands alone, but I have ideas for expanding it into a series. My book would appeal to readers of ONE DARK WINDOW by Rachel Gillig. This is my debut novel. You don't need to state that it's your debut novel, if you don't have any writing credits it will be assumed. If possible, find a way to relate any qualifications, life or workplace experiences, that put you in an informed position to write this book.