By Lynne Golodner

As a writer, by nature and by training, who was always close to my grandparents, I realized as I grew older, and they did as well, that if I didn’t capture their stories, they might be lost forever. So, in my 20s, I sat down with both of my grandmothers and my lone living grandfather and interviewed them over a series of months to collect their stories into a book the whole family could enjoy.

My grandfather and I used this project as an excuse to go out for lunch together and get to know each other in new ways. I recorded our conversations for later transcribing. 

One grandmother and I took our journey down memory lane slowly in the nursing home where she was confined. The other grandmother, who lived until almost 92, pulled out so many scrapbooks and photo albums to pore through, prompting stories about long-forgotten photos and lots of content for my writing. 

When my last grandparent died just before Thanksgiving in 2013, the whole family flocked to Michigan for the funeral. Arriving a few days before, and able to celebrate a subdued Thanksgiving together with so many relatives, I pulled out the book I’d written about my grandmother and ran to a copy center to multiply it for everyone in town.

We spent Thanksgiving laughing and crying as we read her stories, “heard” her voice in the dialogue, and peered wistfully at the pictures alongside the narrative. And then each family returned home with a copy of my grandmother’s life stories in hand.

People write books for a lot of reasons. When it comes to a nonfiction tome about your life, whether memoir or straight autobiography, you could be doing it for many reasons – with the most compelling being the ability to leave a legacy long after you’ve left this earth.

A distant cousin of mine who lived in New York and was more a part of my mother’s generation than mine, traced his family back several generations and wrote a huge book about what he discovered. Reading it taught me lessons about my own heritage and ancestry from a new angle – stories of beloved relatives that I’d never heard or considered. And, it introduced me to characters in my own life story that I’d never met. 

All of this taught me things about myself as much about the people who came before me. 

The biggest question I ask writers in my book coaching courses is, “Why do you want to write this book?” 

That question is followed by “Why now?” and “Who is your audience?” 

Discovering answers to these questions is the first step toward writing a book that leaves a legacy. 

Once you know who you’re writing to, and why, do some free-writing to help focus your storytelling. Set a timer for 10 minutes and see what comes up in answer to these questions: 

1. What life lessons would you like to share?

2. What are your top 2 or 3 experiences that changed you?

3. What do you hope people will remember about you?

4. What do you think is your life’s mission?

5. Do you have a sense of personal purpose or meaning? If so, what is it?

6. What are your favorite memories?

7. What are your worst memories?

After this exploration, you’ll have a lot of fodder for writing! In fact, you may have more than enough for one book, and that’s OK. Because you’ve recorded these ideas on paper, you can start with one and dig in, and then focus another book on the next topic. Who knows – you may have several books or a series in you, just waiting to come out!

Once you get started, focus your time and structure your writing. I like to create an outline of chapters to guide my progress. Then, I set a daily time and place for my writing.

I also set weekly goals – like, this week I’ll write chapter 1. Or, I need to get through the first 10 pages by Sunday. Structuring your book project into manageable chunks makes it easier to complete. 

I never edit while I’m writing a first draft. That’s for after the whole manuscript is done. Sometimes, especially when I’m writing about a period of time in my life, I may need to do research about that time or place in history. I just write a note in all caps where I’ll need to add some factual details and keep writing.

Finally, to leave a legacy with your book, it’s important to be honest, get vulnerable, and focus more on your journey than on what you want to tell others. By writing descriptively about your experiences, with details, dialogue, and compelling characters, your readers will glean the lessons you want to convey from the narrative. Tell the story more than the lessons – the legacy will come out more powerfully if you do! 

Lynne Golodner is the author of 8 books, with her ninth due out in February 2021. A former journalist, she is the host of the Make Meaning Podcast (www.makemeaning.org), a book coach, and a marketing/PR professional (www.yourppl.com). Lynne lives in Huntington Woods, Mich., with her husband and four teenagers.