My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

Kerry Carver is settling down--or at the very least, she's settling. Absolutely fantastic hook, imo When she arrives to her wedding weekend armed with a spell for a happy marriage she bought off a Tik Tok witch, she hopes the sage and smoke might improve her relationship with her fiance, John. Their once-happy union has started to peter out possibly different word choice? fizzle? and seems constantly haunted by the specter of Kerry’s absentee mother, a recovered addict turned new age guru, and John’s imperious mother Hyacinth, who is planning the wedding as if its her own.

But the spell goes awry and instead of blissful nuptials, Kerry conjures a demon, who immediately inhabits John. However, the demon is... kind of cool? I'd put a period here instead of a question mark. I added an ellipses to put some voice in, I'm just personally not a fan of using a question mark when it's not actually a question. Very unlike John. He and Kerry get along well, he’s charming Consider some rephrasing, I read he's charming as an adjective rather than a verb, which flubbed the rest of the sentence and I had to re-read it her devoted family and man-of-honor, who’s always challenged Kerry to want more in life., and Things finally seem to clicking for them—which forces Kerry to confront the truth—that she and John are all wrong for each other.

The demon’s story keeps changing, the wedding flowers are dying, but things seem to keep echo here with keep happening in Kerry’s favor, for once. With the wedding days away and the prospect of an unholy union on the horizon, Kerry’s confidence begins to falter. And as the demon turns hostile, Kerry realizes her marriage isn’t the only thing in danger. With her life at stake, she must figure out how to fight back against an otherworldly force and her doomed union if she wants to reach any kind of happily ever after—which might have been waiting for her all along. This is going awesome until this last line - is she realizing that John was actually the right fit? Or is there a new love interest? Clarify that, and I think you're in fantastic shape.

FOR BETTER OR FOR CURSED is a 70,000 word women’s fiction with a strong speculative streak. Perfect for fans of Rachel Harrison’s light feminist horror or those who enjoyed Maureen Kilmer’s bougie suburban demon drama in Suburban Hell. Set against the backdrop of an upscale wedding weekend on the shores of Lake Placid, the novel is perfect for fans of women’s fiction that like things on the darker side.

I am a writer and librarian located in northern New Jersey. My writing has appeared in the New York Times, LitHub, and the print anthology New Jersey Fan Club (Rutgers Press, 2022). I am a former Pitch Wars mentee. I look forward to sending you more upon request!