My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

Shortly after her tenth birthday, the outlandish and strange Emrys Edevane, an exiled dancer Was she exiled before being accused of witchcraft, or after? If she's already exiled, why would she be in public at a bonfire? known for her luminescent skin and ember do you mean amber? eyes, walked into a public bonfire and reemerged unburnt. After being hunted do you mean accused of? for witchcraft, her family staged her death and fled into the deep woods, where she has been living amongst foxes and hares ever since. And her family, I assume?

A decade later, her quiet life is shattered when she receives a message from a mysterious stranger and her brother goes missing. She discovers that her estranged father so her father isn't with her in the wilderness? has betrothed her to Lord Bastien from the oversea empire of Valaennya, and plots to kill him. So confused - is she royalty of some type? Why would she be betrothed to a Lord when she is an exiled dancer who is accused of witchcraft? And who is plotting to kill who? She's plotting to kill Bastien, or her father? Or her father is plotting to kill Bastien? Why would either one of them want to do either of those things? But upon finding her brother in Bastien’s grasp, her hands become tied and her plans backfire gruesomely. What does this mean? How do they backfire? Why does she not want to marry this Lord?

Emrys’s world is not the only thing that has fractured. As the powers of Valaennya shift, an outlaw prince rises from his kingdom beneath the ground, drawn to her light after spending decades in darkness, and threatens her betrothal to Bastien. But I thought she didn't want to marry Bastien? As a result, Bastien becomes increasingly possessive and paranoid, and confines her to the sunless tunnels beneath his castle with a warning: If she betrays him, he will ruin her. So she's WITH Bastien now? Not in exile in the wilderness anymore?

Isolated and on the verge of madness Why would she be losing her mind?, she meets Vaenyssa, the prince’s enigmatic, silver-eyed sister who hunts Valaennya’s worst men after being assaulted as a girl. Why does his sister live in the tunnels? She helps Emrys face the true, fire-breathing nature of what she is, transform her grief into strength and prepares her for revenge. Revenge against who, and for what? But not without stealing her heart.

Emrys returns to kill Bastien, Returns from where, and why does she want to kill him? but soon realises that he is no longer her only opponent. With her incendiary gifts, she has become the main pawn in Valaennya’s sadistic game of power, and when someone betrays her, the consequences are devastating.I don't know what any of this means. Why are her powers important, why would she be a pawn, and who betrayed her and why? In a desperate attempt to save herself, she is left with no choice but to do what she vowed she never would: Burn. I have no idea what this means. Burn who? Burn what? Burn herself?

THE ECHO OF LIGHT sheds light on the dark side of being chosen, of living a life that was never one’s own. I don't really know what this means, either The 90’000 word fantasy novel explores the making of a female villain, So she's a villain? and will appeal to fans of Game of Thrones and The Witcher, with a feminine and poetic twist.

I am Swiss student at the Arts University Bournemouth, majoring in screenwriting and producing, with the hopes of adapting my books for the screen someday. As per your submission guidelines, I have included the first 10 pages of THE ECHO OF LIGHT below. The full manuscript is available at your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Right now this is reading more like a synopsis than a query, and it's a little long. The query needs to establish at bare minimum -- What does you character want? What is preventing them from getting it? How are they going to overcome the obstacle? -- Right now I don't know what Emrys wants, why she would want or not want it, or what's stopping her from getting it. Motives are entirely lost and there's a lot of vague wording that isn't doing you any favors. Answer the questions within the query above, and work on getting the basics for a query in here, rather than including so many synopsis-like details.</span