Thoughts lately..

1) How did people describe the texture of overcooked pasta or vegetables before the invention of rubber?

2) The best way to cut a passive-aggressive person out at the knees is to say, "Are you being passive aggressive?" Usually you'll get the chance to use the follow up question, "Are you being defensive?"

3) The kitten I'm watching for my sister responds to the sound of my voice with panicked glee. The fifth grade classes I used to have when I worked at the school responded to my voice with abject terror. I wondered what a combination of the two would get me, and then I realized it would be drunk Ewoks.