William Ross needs a jump start. He’s sleepwalking again but that’s not the worst of it. Just two weeks after he clears a client of child abuse, she murders her son, Latrelle. This is definitely your hook. Not a jump start, not sleepwalking. Blaming himself for the boy’s death, William quits law, and finds work as a party clown. I definitely think we need to know why a party clown. That's a huge leap from what he did in his former life. As he fights to make a living as a kids entertainer, a desire grows to give someone the protection he couldn’t offer Latrelle. How does this manifest? Is it already there in the clown aspect? Or is he searching through other avenues? His girlfriend, Clara, embarking on her own new venture, has not bargained on a beau-turned-clown. The two, along with their friends, Alessia, a performance artist with a heroin past, Nick, a millionaire who can’t sustain relationships, and Felicia, a driven perfectionist, comprise the Second Chance Club. Mediumship, a humpback whale, Sing Sing Prison, and a $1000 baby doll, all figure into William’s attempt to find his way. While this eclectic grouping might help make the book sound quirky, it might also make an agent wonder if it's not grounded enough, or question where this fits in the bookshelves in a store.

Second Chance Club is my debut novel. I was a grumpy criminal lawyer who portrayed my career change in a NY Times essay that generated 465 reader comments: http://ow.ly/fuI030iK7TC Great bio! And very smart to include the link. This will give the agent a chance to read your writing style and hear your voice beyond the query.

The intended market of Second Chance Club is readers who want to find their place in the world. Well, that's incredibly broad, and it further muddies the waters concerning both readership and genre.Complete at _ words, Is it not finished yet? Don't query until you have a full manuscript. it will appeal to fans of The Portable Veblen by Elizabeth McKenzie and The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick.

Right now I think the biggest problem with this query is that I don't have a good idea what this book is about. You start with sleepwalking (which I don't see how it ties into the larger story), then child murder compounded with guilt, and then list some things that make it sound like a screwball comedy. I don't know what the genre of this book would be, and your stated audience is equally broad. You'll want to write the query in a way that conveys the tone and voice of the book, and as I said, right now it just feels like a grab bag.