Can Writers Stop Calling Romance Novels “Porn”?

By Elizabeth Everett, Author of A Perfect Equation

Let’s start with two definitions.

Pornography: printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

Romance Novel: A work of literature which features a central love story with an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.

It seems obvious to me that these are two wildly different definitions. Why, then, do so many people use the word “porn” in conjunction with the romance genre? Even more distressing, why do other authors use it?

If this was the mid-seventies of the last century, it might make more sense. Pornographic movies had tenuous story lines and, specifically in the historical romance sub-genre, there were narratives that included non-consensual sex.

Times have changed a great deal, but stereotypes remain. Even a cursory examination of the impact of the pornographic industry on women and young people reveals multiple studies that leave no doubt of its negative impact on the lives of the people participating in as well as watching pornography.

In contrast, a slew of articles have been written in the past two years about how romance novels have been a balm for reader’s mental health during the pandemic and a spike in romance sales proves the point.

Genre fiction has always gotten the side eye from other writers, but the contempt for romance is particularly strong. I have a few theories as to why this might be.

The first is that in our American culture, we are still ambivalent about sex. On the one hand, we use sex to sell everything from sneakers to cereal. We hypersexualize young people in our media and everything from fashion to food is designed to appear “sexy.” On the other hand, when we talk about the actual sex act, we still use words like “dirty”, “smutty”, and “nasty.” Sex education in the classroom is still controversial and frank, open discussion about sexual health is still taboo. Adults, when they find out that I write romance, immediately begin to titter and make jokes about how my partner must enjoy that I write sex scenes. Men in genre fiction – especially thrillers and crime fiction – rarely get asked about if they get off on writing about sex killers or are titillated when they depict mutilated naked women as victims. Yet, romance authors report that it is quite common to receive inappropriate questions about their enjoyment of writing sex scenes from interviewers and other authors as well as from the general public.

The second theory is a bit more nuanced. The romance genre has made strides – although I think we can all agree not enough – by expanding representation in romance novels. Peruse any romance section and you’ll find Queer, disabled, and neurodiverse main characters, to name a few. While there is some prejudicial push-back on love stories for everyone, “porn” and even worse, “mommy porn”, is most often applied to books where women are depicted enjoying non-penetrative or consensual sex. We’ve internalized misogyny to the point where depictions of intimacy where women are active participants and achieve satisfaction are suspect and subject to ridicule. It’s no coincidence that in many thrillers and crime fiction novels if a woman is sexually active, she’s going to wind up dead at some point.

My deepest disappointment with this hypocrisy is when other authors participate in it. The point of including physical intimacy on the page in a romance novel is obvious. It is a powerful way to illustrate the deepening emotional connection between the two main characters. While you can always separate love from sex, sex with love is a compelling narrative that has driven many a classic novel – but oftentimes praise is saved for those novels where the woman is punished, or the relationship ends in tragedy.

The next time an author is tempted to dismiss romance novels as trash or “porn” – I urge them to pause and do one of two things. First, read a romance. It’s not that hard, there are lots of them out there to appeal to any age, race, gender, religion, or sexuality. Second, these are your peers. Take a moment and consider the comparison you are making between a piece of pornography and a three-hundred-page novel that charts the course of a relationship and brings devoted readers the profound emotional satisfaction that is this genre’s special gift.

Elizabeth Everett lives in upstate New York with her family. She likes going for long walks or (very) short runs to nearby sites that figure prominently in the history of civil rights and women's suffrage. Her series is inspired by her admiration for rule breakers and belief in the power of love to change the world.

Out of the Chaos ~ Finding Your Way to the Heart of Your Story

By Elly Swartz

One great story with a dash of life lessons and a heaping portion of heart. That may be a winning recipe, but getting there can feel less like a straight path from the cookbook to the platter and more like kitchen chaos.

So how do you find your way from chaos to blue-ribbon?

Here are a few tips that have worked for me.

But first, a little backstory. My journey to publication took 15 years! And the first book I published, FINDING PERFECT, was the 5th book I wrote! The other 4 are now known in my house as practice.

So, after 15 years of rejection, and now 5 books in or soon-to-be in the world, I’m familiar with finding my way through the chaos.

WRITE WHAT MATTERS TO YOU

When it comes to middle grade readers, there is no more honest bunch. So, be sure to write from that place of true authenticity. Don’t preach. Don’t judge. Write what matters most to you. Because if you write a story that tugs at your heart, then you’re writing from that place of truth. And that’s where your readers live.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR 12-YEAR-OLD SELF

Forget the shoulds and worries of your adult life and wrap yourself around your younger self. Be that kid again. Write as if you ARE your main character. I always know that I’m truly in it when my story weaves itself into every fiber of my being and every moment of my day. Like when I was writing DEAR STUDENT and the main character, Autumn, flooded my dreams. You see, I wasn’t dreaming about Autumn, I was dreaming as if I was Autumn. My world and hers had become completely enmeshed.

Sometimes going back to your 12-year-old self is hard.

But when you’re willing to truly go there, it can also be truly magical.

EMBRACE THE SWISS CHEESE

I have lovingly named my first drafts, Swiss Cheese—they have lots of holes and they stink! After 20 years of writing, I’ve finally accepted that all of my first drafts are a hot mess. And, that’s okay.

This recognition gives me permission to just write. Without expectation. Without consequence. It’s freeing. And with that freedom comes the brain space to create.

It also gives me a place to start. A place to work from.

And we can’t create the blue-ribbon dish, without the recipe. So give Swiss Cheese a try!

EMOJIS

Every great story needs a character that feels all the feels. All happy, you’ve written a giant Hallmark card. All sad, well, no one really wants that.

But how to do you get there?

Emojis. I use them. And I promise, I’m not kidding.

After I write my Swiss Cheese draft, I put an emoji at the top and bottom of each chapter. What’s the emotion coming into the scene and what’s the emotion coming out. This way, I can visually cue myself when I need to mix things up.

Emojis keep me in check and allow me to create a story with true emotional resonance.

JUST BE YOU

Don’t compare your writing to anyone else’s. There is nothing that kills creativity faster than competition. There is room for ALL the books on the shelves. So just be you. Authentically. Wonderfully you.

Write the story you want to read. And write it in a style and voice that is uniquely yours.

Because in that space of true authenticity, lies the story of your heart.

GET RID OF THE GOAT

As shared, kids are wonderfully honest. So be sure to get rid of the goat.

Ha! What’s the goat, you ask? It’s the part of your story you want to work so badly. The part you love. But the part that’s just too good to be true.

It’s the goat in Times Square, for instance.

The part of your story that doesn’t really make sense. Like, why is a goat wondering around Times Square? And keeping it in will only cast doubt on your credibility with your readers. They trust you to be honest. They trust you to be real. Don’t break their trust. It’s a privilege.

Just get rid of the goat!

FINAL THOUGHTS

One reader asked why I continued to write during my 15 years of rejection. I had to think about that. Then I told him that I love writing more than I hate rejection. I also shared that rejection didn’t define me. And it doesn’t define you. Don’t ever give rejection that power.

You are a writer because you write.

And I believe in you!

Happy writing, friends!

Elly Swartz is the author of four contemporary middle grade novels. Her debut novel, FINDING PERFECT (FSG 2016) is about 12-year-old Molly, OCD, and a slam poetry competition that will determine everything. In her second book, SMART COOKIE (Scholastic, 2018), you meet the spunky and big-hearted Frankie who is all about family with a dash of mischief and mystery! Then in October, 2019, we said hello to Maggie in GIVE AND TAKE (FSG). With the help of a foster baby named Izzie, Maggie learns that sometimes love means letting go. And in the spring of 2022, we’ll get to know Autumn in DEAR STUDENT (Delacorte/Penguin Random House). Autumn is a girl with social anxiety and a pet guinea pig named Cheetos, who becomes the secret voice of the advice column in her middle school newspaper.

A Conversation With Danielle Friedman About Let's Get Physical

A captivating blend of reportage and personal narrative that explores the untold history of women’s exercise culture—from jogging and Jazzercise to Jane Fonda—and how women have parlayed physical strength into other forms of power.

For American women today, working out is as accepted as it is expected, fueling a multibillion-dollar fitness industrial complex. But it wasn’t always this way. For much of the twentieth century, sweating was considered unladylike and girls grew up believing physical exertion would cause their uterus to literally fall out. It was only in the sixties that, thanks to a few forward-thinking fitness pioneers, women began to move en masse.

In Let’s Get Physical, journalist Danielle Friedman reveals the fascinating hidden history of contemporary women’s fitness culture, chronicling in vivid, cinematic prose how exercise evolved from a beauty tool pitched almost exclusively as a way to “reduce” into one millions have harnessed as a path to mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Let’s Get Physical reclaims these forgotten origin stories—and shines a spotlight on the trailblazers who led the way. Each chapter uncovers the birth of a fitness movement that laid the foundation for working out today: the radical post-war pitch for women to break a sweat in their living rooms, the invention of barre in the “Swinging Sixties,” the promise of jogging as liberation in the seventies, the meteoric rise of aerobics and weight-training in the eighties, the explosion of yoga in the nineties, and the ongoing push for a more socially inclusive fitness culture—one that celebrates every body.

Ultimately, it tells the story of how women discovered the joy of physical strength and competence—and how, by moving together to transform fitness from a privilege into a right, we can create a more powerful sisterhood.

What inspired you to write Let’s Get Physical?

Five years ago, a few months before my wedding, I stepped inside my first boutique fitness studio: a Pure Barre on Manhattan Upper East Side. I was struck by how physically strong the barre classes made me feel, but as a feminist journalist, I also became curious about the origins of the workout, which I found to be surprisingly sexual. I wondered: Where did barre come from? The answer turned out to be much richer and more fascinating than I anticipated, and I wrote about the workout’s “secret sexual history” in a feature story for The Cut, which I was delighted to see go viral.

But researching that piece opened my eyes to more than just the barre workout’s wild origins. I felt as though I had unlocked a portal to a secret feminist history. It was a history rich with cinematic characters, many of them pioneers of what we now call self-care. It was also a story about how, over the past seventy years, women have harnessed movement to change their lives in subtle but incredibly meaningful ways. And amazingly, it was a story that had never been told. From there, I set out to write the cultural history of women and exercise that I wanted to read.

Describe any research that you did while writing the book. What is one thing you were most fascinated to learn? Was there anything that shocked you?

Let’s Get Physical represents the culmination of four years of intensive research into the history of women’s fitness from the 1950’s to today—research that included interviewing dozens of fitness pioneers and their loved ones; interviewing everyday women who lived the fitness movements chronicled in this book; and a review of more than fifty years of archival fitness books, vinyl records, videocassette tapes, and magazine and newspaper coverage. (Since I started this project, my apartment has gradually transformed into a vintage fitness museum—Great Shape Barbie in one corner, Buns of Steel tapes in another.

I found this research endlessly fascinating. When you ask women. to talk openly about how they’ve moved their bodies throughout the arc of their lives, conversations can become intimate fast and lead to surprisingly profound places. I also found that revisiting women’s fitness guides from past decades made me feel a real kinship with the generations of women who had come before me and sought the books’ s advice in each each era. (It helped that many of the vintage guides I consulted had handwritten notes from previous owners scribbled in the margins.) It was fascinating to watch the language around women’s bodies evolve in a kind of literary time lapse, right before my eyes.

More than anything, I was shocked by how relatively recently working out became an acceptable activity for women. So many of the Baby Boomer (and older) women I interviewed stressed to me how little the women in their lives moved when they were growing up, and how exercise felt like a revelation when they “discovered” it in the 1970’s or 1980’s. I think a lot of young women today take for granted that they are encouraged to regularly break a sweat and push their bodies—for beauty or health or both—but just a generation or two ago, this was not the case.

The fitness industry, as your book shows, is one that is fraught with contradictions, in that it depends on both the promise of physical empowerment and the guise that our bodies need to be improved. In what ways has this tension shaped both the modern-day fitness industry and the way women’s bodies continue to be perceived?

When the contemporary fitness industry was first taking root in the 1960’s, women’s fitness evangelists pitched exercise as a beauty tool because pitching it as a path to strength for strength’s sake would have been dead on arrival. At mid-century, women’s magazines and other popular media continually reinforced the idea that masculinity meant strength and, thus, femininity meant weakness.

In the 1970’s, the women’s liberation movement helped to expand these cultural beliefs about strength, and yet, the fitness industry continued to sell exercise primarily as a path to aesthetic transformation. Then, in the 1980’s, a cultural mindset took hold that took this pitch a step further, linking working out with virtue—and not working out with laziness and a lack of discipline. Fit-looking bodies were deemed worth bodies; unfit-looking bodies were deemed unworthy. This messaging really shaped the way women thought about exercise: For many, breaking a sweat wasn’t about taking pride in what their bodies could do but about working hard enough to change how their bodies looked. As a result, working out became tinged with feelings of guilt and shame.

Today, while a growing number of fitness professionals are working to encourage physical acceptance, the promise of physical transformation still courses throughout workout culture. The fitness industry’s focus on the aesthetic—and in particular, a celebration of a narrow, heteronormative ideal of beauty—means that, too often, women whose bodies veer from this ideal (which is to say: most women) feel uncomfortable in conventional gyms and studios. It should go without saying that limiting fitness to people who are already thin or fit is not only unjust, but also very shortsighted from a public health perspective. We all deserve access to the mental, emotional, and physical benefits exercise can bring.

Let’s Get Physical also sheds an important light on the ways the modern fitness industry has historically enabled cultural appropriation and exclusionary definitions of beauty. How did you ensure your book did justice to the women of color who helped popularize the various exercise movements and in what ways can fitness industry leaders help create more equitable opportunities for exercise?

While researching this book, I learned how fortunate I am to be living in an era when women are encouraged to move. But I also gained deeper insight into the reality that because of systemic inequality and discrimination, exercise is not a right but a privilege in this country. The fitness industry has a history of exclusion, catering to middle-and-upper-class white people with disposable income. The costs associated with working out make it inaccessible to millions. Exercise also requires time and a safe space to move around in—luxuries millions more don’t have. Just as the rich get richer, the fit get fitter, while the poor get sicker. And then there’s the problematic fact that exercising has been linked to virtue, creating stigmas against people who can’t or don’t want to or even don’t look like they work out. I was guided by the idea that examining how and why these injustices came to be—and spreading awareness—can help to make fitness more inclusive of and accessible to all women.

Given how relatively little has been written about women’s fitness history in general, it’s not surprising that even less has been documented about the history of women of color in fitness. But, of course, just because a history hasn’t been officially documented doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Despite the fact that fitness as a form of leisure has historically been marketed to white communities, women of color have found ways of participating and succeeding in the industry from the beginning. It felt it was my responsibility to track down and speak with Black fitness trailblazers and amplify their voices and experiences. I was particularly moved by the story of Janice Darling, a Black instructor at Jane Fonda’s Workout studio in Beverly Hills who went on to open her own aerobics studio in Culver City in the mid 1980’s and became one of a very few nonwhite fitness studio owners at the time. I also loved speaking with Carla Dunlap, women’s bodybuilding’s first major Black champion and celebrity.

Beyond these interviews, I was grateful to connect with the handful of academics who are doing scholarly research into Black women’s relationship with exercise throughout history. And I found archival issues of Essence and other magazines intended for Black women to be a vital resource.

The path to making fitness more inclusive and equitable is a long and complex one, but as with as with so many other areas of our society, representation matters. When a fitness brand elevates women representing a spectrum of sizes, shapes, and backgrounds into leadership roles, the brand sends a message that it values these women—that it cares about cultivating a space where all women can feel welcome. This is, if nothing else, a good place to start.

You had the opportunity to speak with many of the fitness pioneers mentioned in your book. Is there an interview that stood out to you most? Who do you wish you had the opportunity to speak to, and what would you ask her?

So many of them stood out! It’s tough to choose, but I will say that I loved the experience of visiting Esther Fairfax, the daughter of Lotte Berk and one of the creators of the barre workout. Two years ago, I took a train from London to her home studio in Hungerford, Berkshire countryside and joined her longtime regulars for a class, which she told me had not changed much since she began teaching it during the Swinging Sixties. The barre workout origin story helped to inspire this entire book, so it was very special for me to go right to the source. I felt like I was living history.

I would have loved to interview the late actress Debbie Reynolds about her 1983 workout video, “Do It Debbie’s Way,” which was become something of a cult hit. I would ask her how she managed to convince Hollywood legends like Shelly Winters, Teri Garr, and Florence Henderson to slip into Lyrcra and sweatpants and appear as backup exercisers—and how the video fits into her legacy as an icon of Old Hollywood.

Has the experience of writing this book changed your relationship to exercise, and if so, how?

It absolutely has. More than anything, it’s made me think very deeply about my motivations for exercising. Despite what I know intellectually about the influence of the patriarchy and the beauty industry on women’s desire for physical transformation, I of course exercise in part because I want to change certain aspects of how I look, and I still get a thrill from thinking about the promise of a “whole new me.” I’m human. But through my research, I am now able to view these motivations with more of a clear-eyed understanding of what’s fueling them and to consciously shift my focus away from the aesthetic and toward the more profound impact exercise has on my overall sense of strength and well-being. My hope is that readers will walk away with the same sense of clarity and understanding, and as a result, experience exercise with new feelings of joy.

For better or worse, the coronavirus pandemic has once again provided an occasion for a paradigm shift in the way we perceive our bodies and our physical health. What has been the most profound effect of this change, and what does this mean for the future of women’s fitness?

While the lasting effects of the pandemic on our self-image remain to be seen, I can share from anecdotal evidence that many, many women have emerged from the past few years with a deeper appreciation for the role of movement in their lives—for the freedom of being able to step out of the house and take deep breaths and enjoy the physical release exercise can provide.

But there have been subtler shifts, too. I heard from some young women who, confined to their homes, went from exercising for other people (sometimes consciously, sometimes not) to exercising for themselves in ways that simply felt good. The shift to virtual and home exercise also allowed women to take more risks and try classes they might have been too intimidated to try in person. Exercising in the privacy of one’s own living room allowed some to feel freer to learn, to fall down, and to move their bodies in a totally unselfconscious way. (This trend harkens back to the home video craze of the 1980s). And still for others, particularly older women, the pandemic underscored the importance of fitness friends and communities in their lives—and what a loss they felt when deprived of those social circles. My hope is that, going forward, women will be more aware of the fact that they have options—that there isn’t one way to participate in fitness.

What is next for you?

I am currently exploring other overlooked chapters of women’s history for my next book! We are in the middle of a renaissance for reexamining and reconsidering women’s lived experiences and contributions, and I am so grateful to part of this this wave.

Danielle Friedman is an award-winning journalist whose feature writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Cut, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, Health, and other publications. She has worked as a senior editor at NBC News Digital and The Daily Beast, and she began her career as a nonfiction book editor at the Penguin imprints Hudson Street Press and Plume. She lives in New York City with her husband and son.