Something New From Me In 2015

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you know that I got my first pass pages for my 2015 release, A MADNESS SO DISCREET. First pass pages are the designed book, printed on regular paper, that the author takes a look at to catch any last minute boo-boos. (And yes, some still get by us).

 I'm excited because MADNESS marks something new for me. NOT A DROP TO DRINK came out when everyone was still devouring dystopias and post-apocalyptic fiction, and while I do think it has something different to offer than the plethora of other titles out there, it wasn't exactly going to blaze a new trail in YA. And I can say the same for IN A HANDFUL OF DUST.

But MADNESS is coming out of left field. A Gothic historical thriller set in an insane asylum to follower up to post-apocalytpic books? Yes, I did write that. And I hope you like it.

Mining The #BadFirstNovel & Acknowledging My Failure

So I'm resurrecting the concept of the first novel I ever wrote, which would have been around 1999. The reason why I started writing was because I read a book for a college class that I thought was just awful (no, I won't say what) and I threw it across the room upon finishing it, self-declared myself a better writer than that person and immediately sat down in front of my computer to prove it.

Guess what? I totally was not a better writer than that person.

And I can see that now.

In the past week I opened up that document and started looking at it for concept because I can see it working as a YA with a ton of restructuring - and by restructuring I mean I'm taking a 3rd person omni adult literary (or so I flattered myself) and making it a 1st person present multiple POV YA. This also means that I'm not using any of the original content. Not a single line. And it's not only the restructuring that makes this a necessity.

It's the fact that my first novel really, really sucks.

And the version that I'm looking at has gone through multiple revisions, been re-written from scratch at least once, and then seen more revisions. It's had a lot of work, and it's still painful to look at. And I mean that. This isn't me throwing out false modesty.

I found a paragraph that consisted entirely of character movement, had a head hop, plus someone able to see something in a pitch black room. And that was within four lines.

I'm sharing this because I think it's important for aspiring writers to know that it's perfectly okay to suck. Published writers don't spring forth from the womb holding polished manuscripts.

I started tweeting about my first ms under the hashtag #BadFirstNovel, so if you're interested in seeing my thoughts on my own first work as I barge forward, feel free to see what I'm up to on Twitter.

I'm Doing That Writing Thing Again

So... I hit File>New Document over the weekend.

It was really scary.

There's nothing quite like a white surface to truly make a writer feel inadequate and terrified. But it also stands as a challenge, and my brain was ready to churn out the words.

My last foray into writing a novel is all nicely packaged up, ready for you to get curious about it when September of 2015 rolls around. That one is a Gothic historical thriller set in an insane asylum - very cheery. It was a ton of work to write, research, double-checking, caution with dialogue, moody ambience and tip-toe phrasing.

Kind of like torture with your own brain and a laptop.

So this new thing... it's pretty different. It's the kind of story that might actually pull an Athena and just pop out of my frontal lobe fully formed. Writing a story that wants to be written is a rush, but it's also terrifying in it's own way.

Am I writing this too quickly?
Am I deluding myself that this is decent?
Is it coming too easily to actually be worthwhile?
Is it coming so quickly that I'm not able to capture everything in time?

Answer to all the above is: I don't know.

I'm just going to keep writing. We'll see about the rest.