Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately…

1) We need some kind of sonogram / UltraSound app for our smart phones. I woke up for the first day of work in incredible mid-section pain. I thought, "Well, I either have appendicitis, an ovarian cyst, or I just need to take a big crap." Not calling off work for a big crap.

2) Kid's vitamins taste good. Kid's medicine tastes good. Just because we're adults why do we get horse pills and throw-it-back-fast liquids? Is this the pharmaceutical companies way of telling us that the best years are behind us?

3) If we took everything out of our bodies we aren't technically using we could lose a lot of weight. My uterus, one kidney, appendix, tonsils, adnoids, little toes... that's gotta be like a quick ten pounds right there.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately…

1) I've got a healthy colony of mockingbirds on my property. They're very attractive birds, and also incredibly intelligent. I recently learned that they attack people they see as threats - what if we did that? I'm picturing urban housewives bursting out of front doors and tearing hairs from the jogger's head that's passed by one too many times.

2) I have a weird fascination with buzzards. They are incredibly unattractive birds. Really, really ugly. But, God gave them some weight on the other end of the scale too, because those things can hover forever at incredible altitudes. Since they're not hunters, I can only assume they go way up there and glide for the fun of it. Such interesting, weird, ugly things.

3) If a bug gets inside my car and I drive 30 miles away and it flies out - is it lost? Did it have a real home that it would go back to every night? Or is it just like, "Oh what a relief! That girl cannot sing."

Thursday Thoughts

1) Tonsils. Yeah, I've still got mine. They make me miserable. Everyone tells me that having them out as an adult is tantamount to torture, but I'm tempted to call their bluff.

2) Appendix. Yeah, I've still got mine. Everytime I have midsection pain (or mittelschmerz, as we Germans call it) I have to wonder if it's about to blow and poison all my properly functioning innards.

3) Little toes. Yeah, I've still got mine... oh wait, you probably do too. In any case, I'm always stubbing the damn things, and no, we don't really need them. I checked.

4) Eyebrows. Yeah, I've still got mine... despite lots of waxing and tweezing. (And yes, you get four thoughts this week). Ostensibly, our eyebrows are supposed to keep sweat from running directly into our eyes. And yeah, they probably are pretty useful once you think about it. But did you know you're not the only person (uh, thing) benefitting from that? Yep. Something lives up there.

And yes, that last thought was just a random something I've been carrying around in my weird brain for awhile. I just had to back up it with a link.