Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately...

1) What does the voice in your head sound like? No, not like one that tells me to do bad things, but my actual thoughts. Is it my voice? Is it my mom's? What does it sound like. If you try to sit and figure this out, it will make you a little crazy. Just saying.

2) I accidentally scheduled eye surgery for the same day as a signing next week. I can either show up drugged and wearing a jaunty patch, or I can move the surgery. I'm actually considering the first one just to be colorful.

3) I really want to try the Roman chair at the gym for my abs, but I'm worried about a) looking stupid b) not being able to dismount without falling c) getting stuck and just hanging there until someone disengages me.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately...

1) Smell is the most adaptive sense we have. Think about it. If you smell a good or bad smell, and then are around it more than a few minutes you can't smell it anymore. What if touch worked that way? Torture would be ineffective and sex would be obsolete.

2) And speaking of sex - men make sex noises when lifting weights. I don't mind, because I totally get that it does actually help you lift, but I also think that if I did the same thing at the gym it'd be really distracting for them.

3) Pedicures feel good and are also completely undermine your ability to function as a human being. After a few solid workouts post-pedicure I have flappy ripped skin on my feet because it was all completely useless baby-soft skin. Now my feet are not only useless and painful, but the sexy-feet attempt has been undone now that it looks like I have leprosy.

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately...

1) I tweeted about this yesterday, but it's still on my mind. Kissing is weird. It goes, "I like you. I'm going to put my mouth on your mouth. Hold still." Seriously - who had this idea in the first place??! It's unnatural. This is why I don't write romance.

2) All the tension and connection and intentions are in our eyes anyway. Honestly it would make more sense to rub eyeballs.

3) So if you follow my Twitter you know I've had a really serious middle ear infection lately, that has had me looking at ear diagrams. The human ear is one effed up thing. Seriously. If you took it out of the body you wouldn't know what it was. Like if you were walking the woods and there was an eyeball on the ground, stalk and all, you'd still be like, "Oh look, an eyeball." If you were walking in the woods and came across an ear you'd be like, "What is this alien snail baby??!?!"