Coping with Writerly Self-Doubt (and a Pandemic!)

By the debut group Class of 2K20 Books

(Twitter @Class2k20Books; Instagram @class2k20books)

Writing is an exercise in self-doubt--as several debut 2020 middle grade and young adult authors can attest. In addition to the usual feelings of self-doubt creeping up, many debut authors are also dealing with doubts due to the pandemic--who will come to a virtual launch? Will any books sell? Will I ever sell another book? Can I even write another book? So, how do these writers get through it--and keep on writing? 

First, it’s important to understand that writing is an artistic process, and because of that, it’s also one that is fraught. “Self-doubt and imposter syndrome is the hardest part of being an artist, for me. When I write, I’m in love with my work, but when I re-read, I think of an audience who may not like what I have to say, and I become filled with self-doubt,” says Kath Rothschild, author of the forthcoming WIDER THAN THE SKY. KayLynn Flanders, author of SHIELDED, attests that “coming up with the actual words and knowing how imperfect they are? That’s hard.” And Lorien Lawrence, author of THE STITCHERS, cannot count the times self-doubt has crept up during the writing and revision process! 

How do these and other debut authors cope with self-doubt in the time of quarantine? They suggest three things to keep in mind. 

Trust Your Process

Lorien Lawrence suggests there are several ways to combat that self-doubt, but one is to trust your own writing process. “One of the hardest things about being a writer is keeping your eyes on your own paper. This is especially true with the writing process: do what works for YOU, not what works for your friends, CPs, or the plethora of people giving advice on Twitter.” And Andrea Contos, author of the forthcoming THROWAWAY GIRLS, says: “I’m learning to jump in without hesitation, and trust that the story will get where it needs to be. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gotten ⅔ of the way into a manuscript, only to discover something I added to the beginning--without really knowing why--ended up being absolutely crucial to the end.” Trusting that the story will come is a key piece of continuing to write in tough times. 

For KayLynn Flanders, getting the words--or really, any words--down on the page is enough to give her confidence for another day of writing. “You can’t edit a blank page, so I power through it as best as I can.” All the debut authors in the Class of 2K20 Books agree that the first step must be to get your first draft written. It can even be, as several authors call it: a steaming pile of garbage that you will need to spend a long time—longer than you think—revising. But we revise, and we get better. But to do that, the words have to be on the page. 

Be True to Yourself and Your Path

Getting out of the self-doubt rut can be difficult--but honoring your own path is one way. “It’s important to look within your own experiences, and what comes naturally to you as a writer,” says Tanya Guerrero, author of HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE SEA and the forthcoming ALL YOU KNEAD IS LOVE. When we allow ourselves to be guided not by an imagined audience, but by our own deeply honest and sometimes painful truths, we can access real stories that will resonate with us and hopefully, with readers, too. “Self-doubt can, at its worst, keep me from writing what I want to write--often more edgy scenes or more honest portrayals of what it was, for me, to be a teen,” says Kath Rothschild. 

It’s also essential to focus on our own well-being and our own writing projects, and tune out the drone of others. “It’s so incredibly easy to compare your journey to someone else’s. Query request rates, how quickly you get an agent, how many offers you get, whether you get a book deal and then how many starred reviews you get and what your book’s marketing budget looks like. There’s a never-ending list. That’s why it’s so important to remember that every writer has a different path, and none are more valid than the next. Focus on your own work and your own journey and trust that you’re where you need to be,” says Andrea Contos, and KayLynn Flanders (who is also an editor) agrees. “Every path to publication is different, and it’s easy to get caught up in thinking that something that worked for someone else is how it has to happen for you. But comparison is a thief of joy—keep your eyes on your own paper, and celebrate every milestone you meet, every success you see!”

Have a Support System 

In the writing community, there are generally three writing support groups. There are betas, readers who will read your work and tell you what they think, there are critique partners (CPs) who will exchange manuscripts with you and you can tell each other what your think, and there are critique groups, or small groups of authors usually within the same genre who exchange manuscripts regularly. Have as many of them as you can to deal with self-doubt and keep going. “I’m really fortunate to have connected with my MG Squad, Shannon Doleski, Lorien Lawrence and Janae Marks almost right after we joined our debut group. We bounce ideas off of each other, share writing samples and talk craft. Those moments are invaluable, because there are moments filled with self-doubt, and it’s great to be able to get advice or feedback when those moments arise,” says Tanya Guerrero. Lorien Lawrence and Janae Marks, author of FROM THE DESK OF ZOE WASHINGTON, both agree that friendly writer accountability is essential. 

Janae Marks introduces a fourth writing community support group: accountability buddies. Marks was working on her second book when she was struck by self-doubt. “I worried whether the second book would ever be good enough, but I also doubted whether I could actually complete the work during a distracting and terrifying global crisis. What helped me a lot was getting an accountability buddy. As I worked on my revisions, I sent chapters to another author friend, who quickly read for me, provided some feedback, and told me to keep going! I don't know that I could've hit my deadline without her support!” 

Critique groups, partners, and buddies can keep you focused on what’s important. Amanda Sellet shares an essential piece of advice from her CPs: “Of the many, many pieces of wisdom my local writer friends, Tessa Gratton and Natalie Parker, have shared, the one I come back to most often of late is this: If you’re not leveling up your craft, what’s the point? Meaning, don’t get so caught up in all the noise about the business side of publishing that you forget what really matters: growing as a writer, and doing your best work.” Of her critique group, Cathleen Barnhart, author of THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS DO, says: “Our once-a-month Sunday morning meetings are vital for me, and the feedback, support and commiseration of the group has carried me through so much.”  And Amy Noelle Parks, author of THE QUANTUM WEIRDNESS OF THE ALMOST KISS, recommends creating a smaller group within a larger one--for her it was the Class of 2K20 within the Roaring 20s debut group, but that might also look like a small local group within the larger SCBWI community. “As an introvert,” Parks says, “the hundreds of people in the 2020 debut group felt completely overwhelming. Having this smaller group of people who I can learn from has been invaluable.” 

And keep going, even if it’s virtual! A.J. Sass, author of the forthcoming ANA ON THE EDGE, finds that having a routine which involves regular meetings (virtual at the moment) with other writers is incredibly helpful. “I meet weekly with a group of writers, with the aim of making progress toward our writing goals. We also leave time to talk about our uncertainties and doubts. Writing can be isolating, so it’s comforting to know that you're not alone when you’re feeling stuck, or even doubting your ability to get through a particular scene. Lean on your writing friends. And offer support when they need it as well.” And Kath Rothschild also recommends having a weekly standing Zoom date with a CP or CG to commiserate. “My writing group, the Panama Math and Science Club, meet every week for an hour for a writing check-in, and once a month to critique over Zoom. Each time I’m reminded of why we all write--and must continue to do so.” 

But in addition to having a strong writing community, it’s essential for many authors to have a familial and extended community support system—whether in person or via FaceTime or Zoom. Amanda Sellet, author of BY THE BOOK: A NOVEL OF PROSE AND CONS attests to the importance of family support: “A few months shy of my debut, my little sister, who is an incredibly busy lawyer and mom, worked with a friend to design a t-shirt featuring a slogan from my book (#WWJAD, as in ‘What Would Jane Austen Do?’).”This type of celebratory support is important at every step of the writing process. KayLynn Flanders agrees: “My husband encourages me when I get discouraged, learns publishing lingo and practices so he can freak out with me when I get good news. My kids help me brainstorm ideas and inspire me and play while I write. I could never have accomplished what I have without them.”

Family can even help you remember why you should prioritize writing in the first place. Cathleen Barnhart, was offered a part time job after she had decided to focus solely on writing. “I went off to a writing conference with my sister, Amanda. I told her that I was planning to take the teaching job, and she asked me a whole bunch of questions to help me see that doing so was a bad idea. That summer, I finished my novel, and in the fall, I started sending it to agents.” And Kath Rothschild will always remember what her dad told her when she asked him if she should study law. He said: “what about writing?” 

In this tough time, creatives’ self-doubt can be more triggered than usual. The Class of 2K20 hopes these strategies to trust your process, be true to your own stories, and to seek and accept support help you get back to the keyboard!  

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(Twitter @Class2k20Books; Instagram @class2k20books)

7 Tips to Write a Book that Leaves a Legacy

By Lynne Golodner

As a writer, by nature and by training, who was always close to my grandparents, I realized as I grew older, and they did as well, that if I didn’t capture their stories, they might be lost forever. So, in my 20s, I sat down with both of my grandmothers and my lone living grandfather and interviewed them over a series of months to collect their stories into a book the whole family could enjoy.

My grandfather and I used this project as an excuse to go out for lunch together and get to know each other in new ways. I recorded our conversations for later transcribing. 

One grandmother and I took our journey down memory lane slowly in the nursing home where she was confined. The other grandmother, who lived until almost 92, pulled out so many scrapbooks and photo albums to pore through, prompting stories about long-forgotten photos and lots of content for my writing. 

When my last grandparent died just before Thanksgiving in 2013, the whole family flocked to Michigan for the funeral. Arriving a few days before, and able to celebrate a subdued Thanksgiving together with so many relatives, I pulled out the book I’d written about my grandmother and ran to a copy center to multiply it for everyone in town.

We spent Thanksgiving laughing and crying as we read her stories, “heard” her voice in the dialogue, and peered wistfully at the pictures alongside the narrative. And then each family returned home with a copy of my grandmother’s life stories in hand.

People write books for a lot of reasons. When it comes to a nonfiction tome about your life, whether memoir or straight autobiography, you could be doing it for many reasons – with the most compelling being the ability to leave a legacy long after you’ve left this earth.

A distant cousin of mine who lived in New York and was more a part of my mother’s generation than mine, traced his family back several generations and wrote a huge book about what he discovered. Reading it taught me lessons about my own heritage and ancestry from a new angle – stories of beloved relatives that I’d never heard or considered. And, it introduced me to characters in my own life story that I’d never met. 

All of this taught me things about myself as much about the people who came before me. 

The biggest question I ask writers in my book coaching courses is, “Why do you want to write this book?” 

That question is followed by “Why now?” and “Who is your audience?” 

Discovering answers to these questions is the first step toward writing a book that leaves a legacy. 

Once you know who you’re writing to, and why, do some free-writing to help focus your storytelling. Set a timer for 10 minutes and see what comes up in answer to these questions: 

1. What life lessons would you like to share?

2. What are your top 2 or 3 experiences that changed you?

3. What do you hope people will remember about you?

4. What do you think is your life’s mission?

5. Do you have a sense of personal purpose or meaning? If so, what is it?

6. What are your favorite memories?

7. What are your worst memories?

After this exploration, you’ll have a lot of fodder for writing! In fact, you may have more than enough for one book, and that’s OK. Because you’ve recorded these ideas on paper, you can start with one and dig in, and then focus another book on the next topic. Who knows – you may have several books or a series in you, just waiting to come out!

Once you get started, focus your time and structure your writing. I like to create an outline of chapters to guide my progress. Then, I set a daily time and place for my writing.

I also set weekly goals – like, this week I’ll write chapter 1. Or, I need to get through the first 10 pages by Sunday. Structuring your book project into manageable chunks makes it easier to complete. 

I never edit while I’m writing a first draft. That’s for after the whole manuscript is done. Sometimes, especially when I’m writing about a period of time in my life, I may need to do research about that time or place in history. I just write a note in all caps where I’ll need to add some factual details and keep writing.

Finally, to leave a legacy with your book, it’s important to be honest, get vulnerable, and focus more on your journey than on what you want to tell others. By writing descriptively about your experiences, with details, dialogue, and compelling characters, your readers will glean the lessons you want to convey from the narrative. Tell the story more than the lessons – the legacy will come out more powerfully if you do! 

Lynne Golodner is the author of 8 books, with her ninth due out in February 2021. A former journalist, she is the host of the Make Meaning Podcast (www.makemeaning.org), a book coach, and a marketing/PR professional (www.yourppl.com). Lynne lives in Huntington Woods, Mich., with her husband and four teenagers.

How Old Is Too Old to Begin A Writing Career?

by Leslie Wibberley

Judging by the numerous comments I’ve read on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram one might assume if you haven’t found an agent or made a sale by the time your thirty, you might as well give up.

I’m here to tell you that’s just not the way this business works.

Five years ago, when injuries and failed surgeries forced me to reduce my hours working as a physiotherapist, I rekindled a childhood love of writing. I began writing short stories and narrative non-fiction pieces, most of which served no purpose other than to help me hone my craft. And then…

I wrote a middle grade novel. I thought it was good. It was not.

FYI, it’s still sitting in a box under my desk to remind me how far I’ve come in these past five years.

I wrote more narrative non-fiction pieces. This time I dared to submit them. To my surprise and delight, a few were published in literary journals.

Emboldened by this success, I entered one in a national contest and I won 8th place. This helped me take even more risks, and I wrote more short stories. I submitted one and was stunned when it was accepted for publication.

I thought, “Wow, this is easy!”

FYI, it was not.

This success was followed by many rejections. Many, many rejections. But I didn’t give up, I just kept writing.

I wrote a young adult novel. I thought it was good. It was not.

But, this time, I received enough feedback to know I could make it better. So, I rewrote it and jumped into the querying trenches.

In the end, I sent out sixty-seven queries, received fifteen full requests, ten partial requests, one revise and resubmit which I ultimately turned down, four step asides after I received my offer, and a total of sixty-five rejections.

So. Many. Rejections.

I let this book rest, waiting for the responses to those requests to trickle in, but I didn’t stop writing, or learning, or honing my craft. And, I didn’t completely give up on that book. I told myself I just needed one agent to fall in love with my project. Surely, they were out there. I just had to find that proverbial needle in the haystack.

While I waited, I wrote more narrative non-fiction pieces, and a lot of short stories. I submitted to literary journals, anthologies, and contests. Sometimes I was successful, but more often I was not.

Despite many rejections, I didn’t stop submitting my short work. Winning contests and having pieces published was amazing, and helped to build my confidence, but I actually think it was garnering so many rejections that helped to desensitize me to all the literary agent rejections I would eventually receive.

I wrote another book, an adult story this time. I thought it was good. And this time, I really do think it might be.

And then, the fateful email. An agent I’d met and pitched at a conference, and who’d had my full for almost an entire year, wanted to call and chat. I’d been through this before, with the revise and resubmit request, so I forced myself to remain calm.

She called, told me she’d just finished reading my book, and she really loved the story, my voice, and my writing. “This seems positive,” I thought, still not daring to think this might actually be “the call.”

She said, “Your story is great, but what really pulled me in was your writing and your voice. It’s so, so hard to find a writer with that natural ability.” (I jotted this down on a scrap of paper because I really wanted to remember her words.)

My hands started to shake. While this conversation was definitely heading in a positive direction, I wasn’t quite willing to give into my excitement, not yet. With feigned nonchalance, I said, “I’m so glad to hear that.”

And then, the words every author seeking traditional publication waits to hear, “So, this is your official call offering representation.” I held the phone away from my ear, screamed, silently of course, and did a rather disjointed version of an Irish jig. My husband, who had followed me upstairs while I took the call, videoed the entire performance.

We talked for over forty minutes. I remember telling her I write in multiple genres and age groups, and I recall her saying she loved that. But I don’t remember much else. A voice in my head was yelling, “Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God,” too loudly for me to think.

I did have the where-with-all to tell the agent I still had four fulls and several partials out, and that I wanted to give those agents two weeks’ notice.

Ultimately the other agents stepped aside, but all were so complimentary and wished me great success.

I had the opportunity to meet with the offering agent in person, at the same conference we’d met at the year before. A perfect full circle. She was just as amazing as I remembered, and even more enthusiastic. It’s hard to put into words what it felt like to know someone believed in my writing and my story so completely. We signed the contract and I was finally able to say the words I dreamed of saying for so many years. “I have an agent.”

By the way, I was sixty years old at the time.

In the past five years, my words have been published in print seventeen times and online another sixteen, including two novellas which will be published this fall. The plan is to go out on submission to editors with my young adult project in September. 

Not bad for “an old lady.”

The takeaway?

Keep honing your craft and keep submitting. Hold back those demons of doubt and please, don’t be afraid of rejections. They merely prove that you are trying.

And remember, you’re only too old if you believe you are.  

Leslie Wibberley lives in a suburb of Vancouver, Canada with her amazing family and an overly enthusiastic dog. She writes across a wide range of genres, age groups, and narrative styles but has a passion for dark, speculative fiction. Her award-winning work is published in multiple literary journals and anthologies, including Chicken Soup for the Soul. You can reach her at lawibberley@gmail.com or at any of the following sites: Medium: https://medium.com/@lawibberley Twitter: https://twitter.com/feismo Instagram: https://lesliewibberley.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wibberleythewordsmith