Why We Need Dark Humor in Our Stories

by Richard Roper

Tony and Chris are horsing around with their friend and colleague Ralph. Chris grabs Ralph’s hair and leaps back in surprise as what turns out to be a wig comes away in his hand. ‘What, you didn’t know?’ Tony says, a sly grin on his face. So far, so quirkily charming. But context is all, and in this case, what’s actually just happened is that Tony (Soprano) has just brutally murdered his old pal and capo and lied about it to his heroin-addicted nephew who he’s called over to help dismember Ralph’s corpse. This is typical of The Sopranos, a show laced with dark humor throughout. But why go there? Well, the moment serves two purposes. Firstly, for the characters – it is a chance for them to find a moment they can bond over. Chris knows full well that Tony has killed Ralph, Tony knows full well that Chris is high – so for them to find something to laugh about in the middle of all this horror allows them a brief second of respite, a second or two of common ground. The second function of the moment is to show us, the viewer, that what we are witnessing is real life. Not that we’re watching a documentary – what a twist that would have been! – but that these gangsters are not slick, unfeeling, glamorous machines; they are fallible, they are human – and so much of being human is about making each other laugh, even in the most dire situations.

This for me is why – when used well – dark humor is so important in the stories we tell, because it is one of the most powerful tools we have in our arsenal as human beings. Even someone living the most charmed life will be visited by tragedy and misfortune or downright bad luck at some point in their time on this planet. The moment where you can make a joke to your friends about it is always that tipping point where you can stick a middle finger up at what’s just happened and show that you aren’t going to be bullied into submission any longer. Perhaps the greatest example of this in art is comedian Tig Notaro’s legendary stand-up show ‘Live’, performed just a few days after receiving a diagnosis of stage-two breast cancer. Introducing herself with words, ‘Hello, I have cancer’, Notaro goes on to talk about her illness, her recent break-up, and everything else in between, all with jet-black deadpan humor. What’s particularly fascinating is how the audience responds. Usually when you are listening to a comedy album the laughter from the crowd is predictable, like a wave breaking on the shore each time a punchline is delivered. But as Notaro speaks, the laugher comes in scattergun bursts – some of it hearty, some stifled. It is the spontaneous sound of recognition and shock as they watch a high-wire act of someone coming to terms with their mortality in almost real-time. It is a profoundly life-changing thirty minutes, and a fantastic example of the power of dark humor to help us be fearless.

My personal love of the dark side comes stems from my life-long obsession with comedy – both stand-up and sitcoms. Broken down to its simplest, comedy is all about surprise. The set-up of a joke makes you think one thing and then the punchline pulls the rug from under your feet. ‘Formulaic’ is one of the most commonly used adjectives used to criticize comedy – we know what’s coming, so aren’t surprised, so we don’t laugh. If you’ve become as much of a nerd as I have, it makes it harder and harder to find new ways to be surprised – which is why, like an addict looking for my next high, I ended up turning to darker comedies to find something unpredictable, and from both sides of the pond. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Peep Show. The League of Gentlemen – these are all shows that feature a cavalcade of dark themes and plotlines, characters without a moral compass – but crucially all the jokes are justified, it is not being dark for the sake of being dark. These shows constantly surprise with how far they are willing to push the boundaries, and is for that reason why they have such cult followings. It feels like they are saying ‘yeah, the world can be the worst, but if we throw our heads back and laugh our asses off, then we’ve won already’.

With dark humor being at the core of the art I love, it’s probably no surprise that my debut novel Something to Live For was always intended to have that at its core. The book was inspired by a real article I read about local authority workers in England who are tasked with dealing with the situation when someone dies alone. These are people who spend their nine to fives in the most horrific, depressing circumstances – but without exception they all exhibit stoicism and respect while finding as much humor in the situation as they can in order to simply get through. When you see it employed in moments as hopeless as that, you see just what a superpower dark humor can be, and why we need it in stories more than ever.

From Entrepreneur to Novelist: A Second Career Allows a Second Chance at Life

By Bill Thompson

It’s never too late, as a wise person once said. At seventy-three, I’m proving it every day. 

Fresh out of university and armed with a degree in journalism, I did a short stint as a writer for a metropolitan newspaper before joining my family’s insurance business. That led to a forty-year career as an entrepreneur -- building, buying and selling companies, and traveling worldwide promoting them. 

Then life got in the way. My wife of forty-two years became terminally ill, I began working from home and had time to finish a novel I’d started decades earlier. After her death, I realized that writing was far more enjoyable than the business world, and I changed paths. In my mind, I wasn’t an author at that point. I was a guy who had written a couple of books. Not until my third title was released and a book series was firmly established did I embrace the concept that this was my newfound career. 

Many aspiring authors lack two critical things – time and money. I was fortunate that neither was a problem when I started writing. First, I was “retired”, which meant I had as much time as I wanted to devote. Second, I had investment and retirement income sufficient to fund the inevitable losses as a writer builds a base of loyal readers.

Upon learning what I do, people sometimes conclude that writing is my hobby, that I have self-published “a” book and I have a hundred copies in my garage in case they want to buy a copy. Nothing could be further from the truth. Writing is my job, one that’s demanding and requires discipline and effort. At this point in my life, some friends think I should be having a ball being retired and just enjoy life. But I have seen too many people retire with nothing to do. They don’t golf or fish, go camping or RVing, and they end up binge-watching television or starting cocktail hour at four p.m. instead of five. (That part isn’t all bad, by the way.  I’ve been known to adjust cocktail hour a little myself.)

Without purpose, one’s life can become a routine of remembering what used to be. The meetings in conference rooms, the hiring and firing and promoting, the thrill of landing a big account and the despair of losing one that meant a great deal to the company – these things which should be wistful memories sometimes turn into regrets. If a person dwells in the past and has no reason to hop out of bed each morning, life can become an endless tedium of days on a calendar. Think pandemic – I’ll admit there were weeks when I forgot what day it was because every day was exactly the same as the others. I don’t want my post-COVID life to be like that, because I have a purpose. 

To tell the truth, I am having a ball. I am enjoying life – in normal times, my wife and I travel a lot, spend time with grandkids, go to concerts and the symphony and dine out with friends. I love that we do things together, even if it’s just going to The Home Depot or Sam’s. 

I have plenty of time for personal things because writing is in my daily schedule. There’s time carved out for it, just as if I were going to a doctor’s appointment or getting a haircut. I try to start early because I’m a morning person. Most days I write from around 6:30 until 11, although that can easily be amended if something else interferes. I know how long it takes me to write a book and I know the estimated word count before I begin. With the daily word counts I get from my writing software, it’s easy to stay on target. If I’m short at the end of a day or a week, I just have to write more hours to make up the time. 

Sheltering in place was a blessing for us authors. There was nothing outside the house to take my attention off writing, and so I wrote more. Likewise, readers with extra time on their hands bought more books. All things considered, it was the perfect vocation during a lockdown.

My career as a novelist has been immensely fulfilling and rewarding. Achievements in the business world are exciting, but the reviews I get on Amazon and Goodreads are something truly special. When people say they stayed up late to finish my book, or they love the words I write – that’s instant gratification at its finest. My nineteen books have won twenty-three awards so far, twelve of them gold medals, which makes all this even more worthwhile. 

Some people might consider it exciting to dive into a new career after working years to reach retirement. Others would think it overwhelming, and there are yet others who would consider it sheer lunacy. But I learned that doing something you love sometimes can also create income, which is a perfect blend. It can give your senior years purpose and structure, allow you to work at your own pace, and become immensely satisfying, especially if your new vocation is something other people enjoy having you do.

Many people who learn I’m an author confess that they’ve always wanted to write a book. I tell them to step out and do it, although I know ninety-nine percent won’t. Being an independent author is hard work. It’s running a small business with just one employee – you. If you do well, you can branch out and hire assistants for the stuff you’d rather someone else do, but for a long time you’ll be doing it all yourself. That’s hard for writers, because we want to write. The drudgery of self-publishing involves tasks like social media, proofing draft after draft, picking cover art and registering copyrights. It’s not difficult once you learn it, but it takes time away from what authors would rather do – write books.

Then again, if this stuff was easy, everyone would do it. Like all things in life, doing something well requires a lot of time, trials and errors, and getting the occasional one-star review sandwiched in between (hopefully) lots of fours and fives.

Do you think you have it in you to be an author? There are several excellent books to help you understand the challenges you’ll face. There are great websites too. My advice is to take that first step. You’ll never know if you can write books people enjoy until you put one out there and find out.

BILL THOMPSON is an award-winning author of The Bayou Hauntings series, along with The Brian Sadler Series, The Crypt Trilogy, and The Outcasts. His latest installment in The Bayou Hauntings series, The Proctor Hall Horror, is available now. Learn more about Thompson and subscribe to his mailing list by visiting www.billthompsonbooks.com, or connect with the author on Facebook and Twitter. 

Memoir Writer Jeremy Hance On Managing Anxiety & OCD During COVID

Jeremy Hance is writer and freelance environmental journalist, who also happens to cohabitate with mental illnesses. He has named his OCD Steve and his depression goes by the name of Malachi. He is the author of the memoir Baggage: Confessions of a Globetrotting Hypochondriac. As a journalist, Hance cut his teeth at Mongabay, beginning in 2009 and working as a lead writer and editor for six years. For over three years he wrote the blog Radical Conservation on the Guardian. Today, he is a columnist for Mongabay, writing monthly articles under the banner Saving Life on Earth: Words on the Wild.

As someone who dealt with anxiety long before COVID, what suggestions do you have for those who are struggling to adapt to the new norm?

Oh snap. So, I think those of us with OCD and health anxiety find ourselves in a strange position. For one thing, this awful pandemic is kind of what evolution built us OCD-sufferers for. I mean, we were already washing our hands way too often. Wear a mask? Happily! Stay away from people you don’t know. No problem-o. Avoid crowded areas. Yes, please. I bet OCD sufferers had a slightly better rate of survival during past plagues.

Of course, at the same time, having a pandemic ravage our world has only ratcheted up our daily dose of anxiety. It makes taking care of yourself even more important, especially as the US response has been such a disaster. 

For those of you who haven’t struggled with anxiety before, but now find it hard to sleep, feel like your brain is running a marathon, or having a panic attack in a bathroom… It sucks. It really sucks. If things are really bad, I’d suggest getting help. Get a therapist. You can see them virtually. And if need be look into medication. 

For less severe cases, make sure to fit in some time every day to do something you enjoy that calms you down. This is so important. You are no good to yourself or anyone else if your anxiety takes over. Also, consider getting into yoga and meditation. Get outside and spend time in nature—scientifically proven to reduce anxiety and stress. Make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep and getting exercise however you can. Take care of yourself. Seriously, this post-modern world we live in requires so much of us—and much of it unhealthy (10 hours of computer screens a day)—that now is the time to start putting limits on things and find your own joys. 

Many authors find their own bio to be one of the most challenging pieces of writing, and the idea of an entire memoir to be intimidating. How do you come to a place to assure yourself that your own story is worth writing?

I don’t honestly know. Really. I mean so much of writing is throwing spaghetti against a wall and seeing if it sticks or falls limpid behind the refrigerator never to be seen again.

I don’t think I’ll ever be certain that this was the book I should write. Really, write about all my mental health problems? And do it in a funny way? Suuuuure.

I will say this, I think it’s often less that you decide to write a memoir, and instead the memoir just won’t leave you. You push it away saying “nah, nah, nope” but it keeps creeping back in until you finally give in. If that’s what’s happening to you then, yes, give it a try. But I’d say don’t start with a memoir. Start with writing things that aren’t about yourself, start with getting to know the world around you, and the things outside you that you care about. If you’re meant one day to write a memoir then it will keep poking at you, but you’ll be a better writer for doing other things first.  

What motivations in your own life made you decide to tackle a memoir?

As I said, it was more that the travel memoir just wouldn’t go away. The stories and experiences I’d had just kept nudging me to be told—and to be told in a different way than I’d done through my environmental journalism. 

When I couldn’t ignore them anymore, I began to look at it more practically. Would this be a book anyone would really want to read? Was this book distinct in any way? Could this book have an impact on people, especially those who also struggle with mental illness or those who love them? When I felt at least partly confident about some of these questions, I began to move forward.

I knew from the beginning I didn’t want to write a mental illness memoir that would be a super downer, but at the same time I wanted to stay true to my personal struggles. I wanted to write a book that would be an upbeat read overall, but could hopefully provide some insights into living with chronic mental illness—and some laughs.

Any tips for those who are interested in recording the stories of their own lives, but don't know where to start?

I think it’s important to ask yourself why. Why a memoir? If you want to write a memoir so you can share it with your friends and kids someday, then I’d say just do it for your smaller circle and eschew a big publisher.

If, however, you want to write your story and then share it with the bigger, wider world…then I think you need to know what it is you’re trying to say. Not that you need to have a “message” in the book, but a memoir is still a story with themes (and life rarely fits into a neat story). What are the themes? Getting a sense of “why” a memoir can hopefully help you piece together what are the events of your life that are most important to include, because honestly the vast majority of your life will be left on the cutting room floor.  

Once you know why you’re writing a memoir then it’s just a matter of doing what all writers do: stare at a blank page and pray for inspiration. And when that doesn’t come, write anyway. Just write.