The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide

by Signe Myers Hovem

One of the blurbs offered for my book The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide generously states that I “put words to the wordless,” which honestly, was the most gratifying praise I could have received. It also partly explains why it took me so long to write my book—nearly ten years of countless revisions, exploring how to articulate my intuitive sensory existence.

For many empathic persons the world can be confusing and isolating; particularly for those who are unaware that they receive extrasensory information from the environment and unwittingly accept what they feel as their own. Or for those who are aware that they are empathic, yet feel a disconnect due to a lack of definition and understanding of what that means within society. Most dictionaries, in fact, place the origin of “empath” in science fiction and fantasy, which hints at the difficulties people with such sensitivities and abilities face in communicating how they experience the world. 

How do you validate your sensory experiences of feeling emotions, thoughts, and physical discomfort of others when even the dictionary—the authority on language—only affords you an existence in science fiction or fantasy?

The effort of giving language, and thus form, to the nebulous-yet-visceral experiences of an empath undeniably challenged me. My intention throughout my writing process was to demystify the empathic experience for anyone, empath or not, and that meant I needed a way to let the reader into my world. The irony is not lost on me that “world building” is typically a task for fantasy and science fiction writers and not one for a nonfiction writer describing the physical world we all inhabit in the here and now.

And there’s the rub; empathic or not, we don’t all inhabit the same view or perception of the world. Once I recognized that the dictionary’s definition of an empath revealed more about the collective mainstream beliefs and biases than what an empath was, beyond labeling it a paranormal ability, my book’s structure emerged, as did my sense of purpose. I would be a guide to the reader, supported by ancient Greek poet Pindar’s prompt, which has been my personal touchstone and is quoted in the early pages of my book: “Learn who you are and be such.”

How do we, as individuals, learn who we are? From an early age we are told who we are, or who we should be, by our family and our society. Though this telling may be more about safeguards than outright intentional suppression, this standardized approach to life influences the collective perception of what’s true and possible within human experience. Any person who envisions or experiences a contrary reality to the mainstream version will undoubtedly be pushed to question personal truths. At the very least, they will be challenged to be authentic in a world of conformity.

Self-awareness and acceptance are pivotal mindsets that, once embodied, open life up to self-actualization and authenticity. For an empath, that journey involves an evolutionary arc from being an overly sensitive person trying to survive in their environment by feeling separate, to becoming an engaged and functional empath who witnesses what’s out of balance and honors that connection. Along this arc is gaining the understanding that the physical world is an energetic expression. Intuition’s wheelhouse is the ability to sense the energetic realm, which is how an empath can sense others’ displaced and unprocessed emotions, thoughts and physical discomfort.

Writing The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide , I needed readers to grasp a unified sensory system that includes intuition—while removing the science fiction and fantasy bias. To build awareness of our relationship to the energetic world, I created field guides for five different landscapes: The Field of Reflection, The Field of Definition, The Field of Sensing, The Field of Experience and Awareness, and the Field of Mystery. Each of these fields provided me with insight and movement in my own journey toward a balanced perception of the world and my place in it as an empathic person, wired for extrasensory reception and connection.  

I hope readers, empath or not, will embrace the inherent wisdom offered by an empathic nature: the fundamental truth that we are sensory, energetic, creative, and multi-dimensional beings; and we are all connected.

The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide offers questions for reflection at the end of each chapter, inviting the reader to understand their own sensitivities, their own capacity to care for themselves and others, and to embrace the larger conversation their sensory nature holds with the world and humanity. I hope they feel seen, heard and witnessed as I name and define my experience as an empath.

Signe Myers Hovem is the author of The Space in Between: An Empath’s Field Guide . She has created homes on five continents over twenty years, raised four uniquely sensitive children, pursued a special education lawsuit appealed to the US Supreme Court, volunteered in a hospice in Texas and an orphanage in Azerbaijan, worked as a spiritual counselor in Houston Texas, and taught workshops and trainings in the art of being an empath and the power of language in many countries around the world. She splits her time between Boulder, Colorado, andOslo, Norway. For more information, please visit https://www.smhovem.com

How Not To Lose Your Mojo For Writing When Rejection Is Rampant

by Kris Clink

You have squeezed out every drop of heart and soul. You’ve fleshed out intriguing characters, worked and reworked the plot points, and studied every sentence until your eyes crossed. Your critique partners have praised your progress, and the editing software has ranked your manuscript right up there with Jennifer Weiner. This is your time to shine.  

With a solid query letter and the required pages, you hit send. And wait. The following writing days have you switching from your WIP to your inbox, hitting refresh, and dreaming of publishing success. Unfortunately, for a great majority of writers, initial responses are disappointing.

Since I began my Writing Table podcast, I have asked over fifty guests about their publishing journeys. For most, it’s as rocky as a hike up Kilimanjaro. For a few, their talent and patience paid off, and they landed agents instantly. Author Laurie Frankel spent three months polishing the query letter she sent to the singular agent who would sign her. Frankel’s experience is uncommon, a testament to the time she spent refining her message.

For most of us, the landscape looks quite different. We slug through countless rejections, combing them for meaning, and if we hone our craft and polish our manuscripts enough, we receive requests for pages. What happens then is anyone’s guess, as there are no guarantees of anything in this business. Before you allow rejections to crush your writing soul, let’s study what they mean. Since dashing off my first query in the fall of 2015, I have received at least one-hundred rejections which fall into one of three categories:

·      Immediate rejections

o   We will not be pursuing representation of your manuscript

o   Because of the high volume of queries I receive, I will only be responding to authors where I will be asking for more materials. If you do not hear from me, consider it a “no.”

o   Unfortunately, I'm afraid the project isn't the right fit for me.

·      Considered, but ultimately rejected

o   Thank you very much for your query, which we have read with interest. Unfortunately, the project does not seem right for this agency, and we are sorry that we cannot offer to serve as your literary agent.

o   Unfortunately, after careful consideration of your manuscript, we have determined that it does not fit our needs.

o   I'm afraid I didn't fall in love with it as I had hoped I would. 

·      Closely considered, rejected with feedback: Rare commentary provided by time-strapped agents who recognize the diamond in the rough.  

o   Thanks for sending me your heartfelt novel. I like the idea but I had a hard time with the characters. You're good with dialogue - but there's too much of it. It all sounds pretty natural but it's not all necessary. I didn't get caught up in the story. I'm sorry to not have a more positive response but I appreciate the chance and wish you the best on your search.

o   Sorry, but I’m taking a final pass on your work. As a suggestion, you could consolidate your first forty or so pages to avoid repetition.

o   There's some cleaning up to do, but it's nothing developmental, and just picking and choosing the best way to word things to fit the characters. 

Agents don’t take pleasure in rejections. There are exponentially more authors than agents, and even fewer editors poised to purchase your manuscript. This reality presents an unreal workload for agents as they screen for projects to champion. It’s not personal. An agent might enjoy reading a manuscript, but if they don’t think they can sell it, they won’t sign you. It’s that simple.

How to stay motivated when rejections come?

·      Expand your writing community through Twitter, Facebook groups, writing conferences and workshops. Writing is a solitary job, and it’s easy to feel isolated. Know you’re not alone. The writing community is especially supportive of its own, so don’t be afraid to reach out via social media. Some of my best writing pals came into my life this way, and I might have quit a long time ago if not for their support. Writing organizations and NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) introduce authors through message boards and local programming.

·      Don’t stop writing. If your butt doesn’t land in that chair, you have nothing to edit.

·      When making significant changes to a manuscript, use the “save as” feature to preserve the former version. You never know when you might want to resuscitate a discarded character or scene.

·      Rejections sting, but underneath the discomfort lies relevant feedback. Let the initial pain wear off, then search for helpful nuggets. The line you love might distract the reader from the core of the story, or a character doesn’t move the plot forward. An agent might recommend a developmental edit or only a few tweaks. Actionable feedback from an agent can be solid gold.

·      Author Camille Pagan reminds newbie authors to ask, “What would a career author do?” Face writing as if you were already the career author you hope to become. Get up and write regularly. You’re never too good to stop refining your craft. Listen to feedback. Trust your gut. Don’t give up.

Kris Clink is the author of Goodbye, Lark Lovejoy and Sissie Klein is Completely Normal, which have received praise from Bustle, Midwest Book Review, Kirkus Reviews, Women.com, Lone Star Literary, Brit + Co, Travel and Leisure Magazine, and Entertainment Weekly. Set in middle America, her novels are laced with love, heartbreak, and just enough snark to rock the boat for the relatable characters as they confront transformative challenges. She is the host of Kris Clink’s Writing Table, a podcast about books and writing, where she interviews a variety of publishing professionals and authors from Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) to Camille Pagán.

Fandom is Love. Fandom is Family. Fandom is Representation.

by Rachelle Storm

There are two things to know about me as an author. One, I am a proud, Black woman who loves writing diverse, multiracial characters in complicated, nuanced worlds. Two, I have been an unapologetic fandom geek since well before it was popular to deem yourself as one. I love fandoms, popular culture, and embrace the truly powerful ways humans come together in fandoms when they enjoy a fictional universe. Depending on where you look up the definition, fandom is described as a “condition” or “state of being.” Fandoms are immersive and embody so much more than simply sharing a love for a fictional universe or world-building experience. In its best form, a fandom is a space of compassion, a sense of belonging, and a place to embrace diversity in ways many spaces in society still struggle with today.

As a Black woman, my love of fandom stems from the way I have been embraced and able to explore the intersectionality of my identity over the years. Whether it is at a convention or through the friends and connections I have made in online spaces, fandoms have given me the space I have always yearned for as a woman of color to explore my interests, fascinations, identity, and even my life philosophy. Fandoms have always been about more than just the fictional characters and canons we love. They are often communities of people moving toward common goals and human connections. For example, I remember how the Twilight fandom came together to pay respect to a fan that was tragically killed right before a Comic-Con event. Twilighters embraced the fan’s love of fanfiction to create a collection of stories in her honor and gave the proceeds from the donations to her family. Fandoms often contribute and donate to causes, such as Alex’s Lemonade Stand, The Go Campaign, and Saving Innocence as ways to connect their love with causes for the greater good of society.

Personally, the most impactful way a fandom has reached beyond fictional characters to connect with others is the way conversations in multiple fandoms about queer-baiting and representation led to a shift in approach for Hollywood studios. Whether it is infamously, rumored deleted scenes from Pitch Perfect 3 that left Bechloe fans irked or fans critiquing the use of Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers as queer-bait in the CW’s Supergirl, fandoms continue to demand diversity and inclusion onscreen and on the page. In the past five years alone, there has been a shift in the mainstream due to this demand. Teen Vogue’s 2021 article “On Racebending and Seeing Yourself in Fandom” and Rowan Ellis’s YouTube video “The Evolution Of Queerbaiting: From Queercoding to Queercatching” are examples of the impact fandoms have on problematic histories of discrimination in Hollywood and mainstream media. And while studios remain stubborn and discriminatory in their practices, change is on the rise due to fan reactions and the support garnered. The harsh truth is when it comes to mainstream media and popular culture, these spaces have historically been rooted in archaic tropes of identity while oppressing marginalized voices and representation. I have spent most of my life enjoying fandoms, but I will be the first to admit that when I first started engaging with novels, shows, and films where fandoms were embraced, I was painfully aware of how the spaces centered whiteness, heteronormative tropes, and stereotypical, flat marginalized characters. This is still an issue today, but there is a shift that only fandoms can cause, a shift in the mainstream.

When I wrote the first novel in the Absolution Series, I wrote with this shift in mind. I thought about how mainstream fandoms helped me when I was growing up, but also how they left me wanting more in terms of feeling seen and included in the worlds I admire so much. Absolution is unique because of its hybridity and way it plays with traditional tropes in fantasy and romance genres. The series embraces diversity with multiracial characters looking to break through the glass ceiling and shatter the expectations of what love interests and heroes in the genres of mainstream romance and fantasy can embody. The story is essentially a love letter to the YA fandoms of the past that embraced and welcomed me as a young adult, but also a universe with characters that represent more than just one type of human or ideal. Absolution is a statement as a fandom geek trying to remind us that the hero and love interest of mainstream fantasy and paranormal romances are not always predominantly white. Overall, Absolution is an epic fantasy romance that will hopefully remind readers of the YA fandoms they once belonged to and still probably do, but with more inclusion and diversity in mind.

While there are many stories out there focusing on diverse, often marginalized characters and representation, mainstream media and fandoms are still catching up to the way readers and fans choose to embrace the world. Whether it is on social media, websites, fanfiction, or fan events, fandoms continue to be a space for explorations of identity and this fandom geek is very happy to see so many outlets for readers from all types of backgrounds popping up. Fandom will always be love and family. I am just happy that love and family openly includes all of us now.

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Rachelle Storm has been a fandom geek since its earliest beginnings and never stopped. A Black scholar holding a doctoral degree in Writing Studies, she researches rhetoric, music, and popular culture. In truth, Rachelle never isn’t writing or sharing her knowledge with her fans. However, on the off-chance she isn't working or experimenting with paper and ink, you can find her at music festivals and independent bookstores. Absolution is her debut novel. The second book in the series, Absolution: Revelations, will be published July 2022. Find her online at rachellestorm.com or connect with her on social media (Instagram; TikTok; Twitter; and Facebook). Join the Absolution fandom on Facebook or Goodreads.