Lost In Translation

Hello, Halloween. I'm glad you're here.

There's nothing better than a holiday that allows you to dress up and play pretend. Everyone else is doing it, so it's the one day of the year that you can be a kook and it's socially acceptable. Try putting on your costume any other time.

No seriously, try it.

Anyway, the chintzy decorations and random table toppers are out full force at my house and this year brought an extra something special to the table. Literally.

What the hell does this even mean? Without starting a conversation about outsourcing, I'll tell you that I got smart and flipped over the plate. It's made in China, and I'm guessing it's supposed to say "Boo!"

I find this kind of thing happens in writing as well, and I don't mean in the linguistic sense.

A lot of the time, we writers know what we're trying to say, but it's not getting across in our text. Sure, we might think our character is a suave ladies-man because we see him that way, but every one of our beta readers is saying, "Ewww, he's a creep."

Your brain might be saying "Boo!" but your book says "Scare!"

Listen to your betas, they are wise. Even if you don't particularly like your betas, or have respect for their writing skills, remember what they primarily are - readers. They are a prototype of the average person you want to put your book in front of.

And if the betas are scratching their heads, your reader will be too.

As a side note, I've been running around yelling "Scare!" at people after jumping out from corners all day. Trust me, not the same effect.

Getting To Know You, Getting To Hope You Like Me

I thought I'd do one of those pathetic ice-breaker things that most social gatherings require in order to loosen the tension. Except that when I answers them, it actually tends to ratchet up the tension as those in my close proximity quickly realize that I'm not quite right.

The questions:

Q: What one book would you take with you to a deserted island?
A: I choose to eat puffer fish and die.

Q: What three historical figures living or dead do you want to have dinner with?
A: 1) Jack the Ripper, 'cause I wanna know who the bastard is.
     2) Julius Caesar. He was ridiculously intelligent and charismatic, a reader, a writer, a soldier, and by all accounts, pretty damn hot. Those guys only come along once in a millenia, and I was born in the wrong one.
     3) One of my ancestors, Delilah. In 1825 her father appointed her the executor of his will, even though he had two adult sons and she was a young, unmarried woman. That alone tells me she must've been something. But on top of that, her son later become one of only eight people to have ever been lynched in Ohio. What'd he do?

He was an axe murderer :)

Thursday Thoughts

Thoughts lately:

1) Doesn't the phrase "trained assassin" imply that there is such a thing as an "untrained assassin?"

2) If humans didn't need sleep, we could be vastly more productive. I'm cheated of hours and hours of accomplishments because of a biological imperative. I don't mind blinking and breathing, but sleeping... man, you I've got issues with.

3) I seem to only have impulse control Monday through Wednesday. Everything else is a crapshoot.