What Writing Rom-Coms Taught Me About Myself

by Kosoko Jackson

Hi there! My name’s Kosoko Jackson and by the time you’re reading this, my debut rom-com, II’m So (Not) Over You , will be out (and maybe be in your hands, on your bookshelf or on the way to you…no pressure, of course).

I’m So (Not) Over You is a fake dating, second chances romance starring Kian Andrews, who gets the chance to obtain his dream job, if he’ll pretend to still be madly in love with his ex-boyfriend, Hudson Rivers, and help sell the lie to Hudson’s very wealthy and powerful family. But, of course, the lie gets out of hand and both find themselves spending a whole weekend together, and discovering maybe their feelings aren’t as dead as they thought.

If you had come from the future and told me five years ago that I would be writing a romantic comedy, I probably would have laughed at you. I never saw myself as a rom-com author, I thought that my space was in young adult fiction. So, three years ago, When I decided to embark on this journey, I had no idea where it would end up. But since starting, I think I've learned 3 key things about myself.

ONE: NEVER COUNT YOURSELF OUT.

Like I said above, I never saw myself as a rom-com author. I thought that my space was only in young adult fiction because that was what I had told myself. There's an expression from a TV show, I can't remember which one, that I carry with me every day. Don't let a promise that you made to yourself 10 years ago dictate your choices now. When I was younger, and I knew I wanted to be an author, I knew I wanted to be a young adult author. But that was something that I came up with when I was in my teens, that was roughly 15 years ago now. I've changed, I've evolved, I've grown, and the stories that I wanted to write when I was 15, are not the only stories I want to write now. I owe it to myself, and so do you, to not let that limit you.

TWO: WRITING SHOULD BE FUN; REMEMBER THAT.

I think sometimes, especially if you’re a writer, or any creative person, we get caught up in doing what is successful, what (we think) is going to make the New York Times list, or what is going to etch our name in history. We forget, sometimes, why we started writing, what made us want to be a creative person. I know I did. I started writing young adult books because I wanted to see authentic representation of queer Black teens. I wrote rom-coms, or had the idea to, because I wanted to see stories where people who look like me, get happy endings. What happens with this book–be it a NYT bestseller, or a flop, shouldn’t matter, because I set out to do something and I accomplished it. And most importantly, I had fun doing it. The glitz and the glam is nice, but proving to yourself, and putting your heart and soul into something? That should be enough. That is enough.

THREE: CAREERS, AND LIFE, ARE LONG.

If you notice a pattern here, it's that I did a lot of self-discovery while writing this rom-com. I pushed myself, I discovered what I enjoy and what I didn’t, and I honed myself as an artist. I’m so, so proud of that. There are so many books–especially rom-coms–I want to write. And in coming out with those ideas, in finding my path, I’ve always thought, “oh, is there enough time for me to do all these things? I have to get it perfectly right this time because I won’t have another chance”. And while it is true that the arts are cut-throat, and it's not a meritocracy, what is also true is that no artist will ever put out all the work they want. There is never enough time, and all we can do is create what makes us happy, and hope that’s enough. For some, that might be morbid. For me, it helps me put into perspective each book, each short story, each article I write, is a piece of myself I’m sharing with the world; and that’s enough.

I’m So (Not) Over You is my first rom-com. It won’t be my last. But it is the one that I’m most proud of. The book is funny, earnest, honest, real and vulnerable. It is a piece of me that I’m sharing with you. I hope, if this book touches you in any way, you feel comfortable and are willing to share that with me. I promise, I’ll listen with open arms.

Born and raised in the DC Metro Area, Kosoko Jackson has worked in digital communications for the past five years. He is currently an MFA candidate at Southern New Hampshire’s Mountainview MFA program. Yesterday is History is his debut novel. Visit him at Kosokojackson.com or @kosokojackson on Twitter or Instagram.