My name is Samuel Moore-Sobel, and I am the author of Can You See My Scars?
My book is about the day that changed my life forever. I was 15 years old and a week away from starting my sophomore year of high school. A man in my community hired me to move boxes and furniture for him. Eager to pocket some spending money before the start to the school year, I agreed to take the job. After moving a box as instructed, a glass jar of sulfuric acid exploded, leaving me with second- and third-degree burns on my face and arms.
The accident sent me on a journey that lasted longer than I could have anticipated. In the years that followed, I had more than a dozen operations. Along the way, I discovered I had emotional scars in addition to my physical scars. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with symptoms of depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and I spent years in therapy learning how to work through my emotional scars.
I learned a lot about myself in the process. For instance, my psychiatrist introduced me to a concept that I’ve carried with me ever since. He encouraged me to assemble a figurative “toolbox” that I could use in confronting the symptoms I was experiencing. For example, I could share my story with those I trusted, and also keep a detailed journal about my experience.
The more I shared my story with others, the more I came to understand that we all have scars. Not just physical scars, but emotional ones, too. Some of us have deep emotional scars that affect our lives in various ways. My story is a human one. We all know suffering, to one degree or another, even if the circumstances behind our scars differ.
Early on in my journey, I decided to write my story. I spent years writing and re-writing, aiming to get the words exactly right. In some ways, writing about my experience was cathartic. It helped me understand my experience in a new light. I also found the process painful. Writing about the worst experience of my life brought back a lot of memories and caused me to re-live parts of the experience.
I also struggled from time to time with doubts about the viability of my book. I wondered if anyone would want to read my story. I pressed on, guided by a singular purpose – I thought that maybe, sharing my story could help others feel less alone as they faced their own adversity. I wanted to give others what I lacked in my experience: the opportunity to hear from someone else who had gone through deep pain and trauma, with the hope that it is possible to survive whatever we face.
I also felt that my story wasn’t just confined to my experience. I saw the commonalities inherent in the human experience. Even if readers aren’t burn survivors, they can likely relate to feelings of isolation, loneliness, shame, and self-loathing. Most of us can relate to experiencing grief and the questions we ask at every stage of life (but especially during our teenage and young adult years): Who am I? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of my life?
I wanted to write a book that others could relate to, while also keeping the chapters short enough to encourage people to keep reading. There are parts of the story I didn’t include due to space constraints or privacy concerns. I also had a wonderful editor (my girlfriend at the time, now wife) who kept pushing me to be more concise and to cut when necessary. It was fun collaborating on this project with my wife and that made the publication of my book all the more special.
My book was published on the eleven year anniversary of my accident, September 1, 2020. It was right in the middle of the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic, and I worried that sales would be affected. Despite my worst fears, I’ve been grateful that my book has continued to sell despite everything going on in our world, and that others have graciously chosen to read my book. I’ve heard from people across all stages of life who have been impacted by my story, which makes all of my effort worth it. “It was like I was reading my own thoughts at times,” a reader shared after finishing my book.
Samuel Moore-Sobel is the author of Can You See My Scars? His book is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Mascot Books. For more, follow him on Twitter and Instagram or visit www.samuelmoore-sobel.com