Anna Meriano On Writing YA With Roots In A Problematic Fandom

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

Ad: Don't miss Day Zero, the exhilarating new novel from Kelly DeVos, featuring a fierce, bold heroine who will fight for her family and do whatever it takes to survive. Fans of Susan Beth Pfeiffer's Life As We Knew It series and Rick Yancey's The Fifth Wave will cheer for this fast paced, near future thrill ride. Day Zero by Kelly DeVos

Mindy: So we're here with Anna Meriano to talk about her book, This Is How We Fly. So why don't you tell us a little bit about the book? And it is very much a book about a fandom, So why don't you tell us about those roots? 

Anna: I always struggled to describe it because it's basically a coming of age story. It's a Cinderella retelling, very loosely. It's a contemporary YA with no magic, and it follows the story of Ellen, who has just graduated from high school, gets grounded for her last summer before college. She joins a Quidditch team, a real- life Muggle Quidditch team. Muggle Quidditch is a real sport that is really played in countries around the world. It's an international sport. I have been playing it for eight years now. Just decided to write a book about those experiences a little bit. It's become its own, really weird community that's very athletic, but also still very nerdy, very close knit, just a lot of fun. 

Mindy: There's a few things going on here that break a mold, and one of them is that your character is out of high school. She's in that gray area before she's going to college. And a lot of the time YA books are very firmly planted in that high school lifestyle and not that transitional period. So if you could talk about that a little bit, I know that, it can be like a difficult sell. So how did that come about for you? Was there any pushback on the age range? 

Anna: I think not. In fact, I think I had some potential editors who we're very excited about it existing in that space because there is a little bit of a push for new adult. It's small, but it's there. And so there were a couple of places that were a little bit interested but were, you know, wanting Sequels that were also set in college. But I really wanted to write more high school after this book. I think it just made sense. Because Quidditch got started at Middlebury College, Almost all of the early teams were college teams and most of the population playing the sport. When I first started playing, it was almost all college students on my team, the Houston Cosmos. We have had some high schoolers join up for a year or two or for the summer before they go to college, but it's not super common. 

I needed to have a reason for Ellen to be with this team of you know 18 19 20 21 year olds where it didn't feel like she was in a completely different space than they were, and then also for the Cinderella retailing aspect, that space that you described of being sort of in transition, or I think of it as being kind of stuck when you're like, Well, I'm done with high school, dot, dot, dot, dot. That just resonated a lot with the Cinderella story of being kind of stuck in a place and feeling like there's no escape from it, even though there clearly is and you're about to get to it. But you just can't really see that.

Mindy: For me, when I went to college those, like three months before I left. I mean, I was just terrified. It's like Stassis. You feel like you're not moving forward But holding on To What was behind you feels like there's no growth there. I struggled with it for a lot of reasons. I'm from a really rural area and so going to college for me was a little bit intimidating. I'm not gonna lie. 

Anna: It's a wonderful time. It's a really scary time. It's definitely a time for a lot of change and growth. So I think it's really interesting to explore it and probably There's a need for books in that space. I would imagine that so many of our readers could relate To that particular struggle. I've started to hear people say that you could do YA all the way up to Freshman year of college As long as it's still “what is college?” I kind of like that that we're pushing the age range to include that, because that is still really young adult. Kids were still 17 and 18. 

Mindy: I don't feel like I was actually an adult till I was 30. That's how I feel. So I mean, you're still floundering in your twenties. I mean, I was.

Ad: Pirate life may be perilous, but it's probably different than you'd think. Ever wonder what it's really like to be a pirate? Blacktooth The Pirate’s High Seas Adventures are fun for kids of all ages - because reading doesn't have to be like walking the plank. Blacktooth’s Treasure Chest, Blacktooth and the Legend of Skull Mountain, and Blacktooth and the Great Pirate Challenge by Jay S. Willis are all available now on Amazon. 

Mindy: The other thing that I really think sets this apart that, I think is really interesting is as you were saying, This is a book that is really tied to a sport and, as you were saying, a competitive one yet at the same time having extremely dense roots in nerds and a geek collective. And those two things do not cross that often. Now, It is not necessarily a reflection of reality. I know I was always deeply frustrated as a teenager that there weren't enough books about female athletes because I am an athlete. 

I was an athlete as a teen, and I was not finding books written by women about female athletes. Like they just didn't exist. So as an adult, I said, You know, I'd really like to write a book about a female athlete. There was some pushback about that because the belief is that athletes don't read and I got a lot of pushback. It was just like, Yeah, but how do we market that? I am an athlete. I was an athlete, and I read voraciously. I worked in a high school library for a very long time and athletes read books. Our homecoming king One year had it in his bio that he was the president of Book Club. It's just quite simply not true, but it is a pervasive belief. So can you talk about that a little bit? Because I do think that you're wandering into an area that some people would say is fantasy. 

Anna: I completely agree with everything you're saying. I did want to ask - What did you play? 

Mindy: Softball and basketball.

Anna: Nice. Okay, Yeah, I was really into basketball. Middle school kind of killed the joy for me because I really loved basketball as a kid to answer your actual question - So I think that I was also an athlete as a younger kid. My elementary school did like a giant schoolwide basketball tournament every year that everyone was really involved in. I was very competitive. I would get really competitive even for like, you know, medic dodgeball or whatever we were playing through middle and high school. I feel like I lost it slightly just because I didn't have the encouragement that like, I should be doing sports and competitive things or because there isn't that much representation of nerdy and athletic people. I mean, you know, we got High School Musical at some point there. But for the most part  like you're saying it feels like or it's presented as two separate worlds like, Are you going to sit with the jocks? Are you going to sit with the nerds? Like you said, that doesn't reflect reality, but that can feel like you have to choose. 

And so I definitely very full heartedly chose to be a nerd. I sort of like gave up sports, and even then I was being drawn to things like Tamora Pierce, Protector of the Small series which is really a sports book. The sport is just jousting and being a knight. Books that still kind of were sports adjacent. When I found Quidditch in college, I mostly joined it like a ha ha. It's gonna be so nerdy. It's gonna be like Harry Potter Club. And then it wasn't and I ended up actually loving the fact that it wasn't so, so, so nerdy more. I mean, especially now I'm not so into the fact that it's connected to the fantasy book fandom because unfortunately, that's a painful connection. 

So now what I love about it is that it's an all gender, full contact sport at a level where anyone can kind of join up and start playing and not necessarily be the star of the show. But, like be competitive, get competitive pretty quickly, and then you can go around, meet all the other players and start learning all the strategies and get involved in the community. Like a lower barrier to entry than, say, basketball. And I think I love the fact that it does attract nerds. We talk a lot, and like my friends on my team, some of them came in through Texas football, sports culture. There's a kind of running joke about like, Oh, I'm just here to tackle nerds. And then there's also people who were running their Harry Potter fan clubs at some point in their life, back when it was less of a bigoted thing. The fact that we have both kinds of people really makes it a fun space and that we can all connect over like the sport that we play. The jocks can teach us how to throw balls, and the nerds could be like geeking out over the ref test. And honestly, again, most people are a little of both. There's not one type of person. It's just a cool place to exist. 

Mindy: And sports can just unite and bring together so many different people like it just doesn't even matter. It's its own language in so many ways. I've told people before multiple times the one time I as an adult was involved in like almost like a melee group fight, like practically a riot was a church softball game. You've got a bunch of Christians. They got a little bit riled up and people were holding bats and coming at each other, and somebody called the cops. Like I mean, it's just you get to a point where that compulsion is there. And it is not necessarily everyone but that competitive spirit and something that I think is really deeply tied to sports that doesn't necessarily come up that often is justice, like what you just did is wrong. That is, against the social fabric of what we are agreeing to here. 

Anna: I have never made that connection, but I love it. That's such a big part of what gets what people feel so passionately about with sports is the reffing. Oh my gosh, reffing in Quidditch is a whole thing.  

Mindy: I'm sure. I come from a very... I know you do, too, In Texas. In Ohio sports, It's like pretty much everyone grows up playing something you just slough off a little bit afterwards if you're not into it. But pretty much everybody gets a shot at some point at something. And that's what we do. Like in, especially in the rural areas. If it's a Friday night in the fall, you're more than likely going to a football game. And in the winter you're going to a basketball game like it's especially in my community high school sports, because we're very, very tied to our schools because, quite frankly, it's very generational, and people don't necessarily leave. You go to the sports to watch your kids and your friends' kids and then, you know, in 20 years they're gonna be there watching their kids like That's just the way it is. 

And people are passionate, and there is just this agreed upon social construct that you walk into the gymnasium or, you know, you come to the stadium and everyone knows what the rules are, and everyone knows what behavior is supposed to be and the arbiters, your refs or your judges or whatever your line judges. it can come back on them, too. It's like, No way, you're wrong. You did it wrong.

Anna: Quidditch has a lot of different refs because there's a lot of different games going on in Quidditch. I didn't really talk about that yet, but a game of rugby and a game of dodgeball and a game of like, I don't know, wrestling. There was a point in time where I thought I would like, try to become an assistant ref and try to, like, help my team out to fulfill our ref requirements. And then I got a really bad game with a team up in New York. The head ref had told us to do a certain thing. If a goal goes in but is not a good goal, and I did that exact thing that the head ref had asked me to do and players were screaming at me.

Meriano.png

No, no, you can't raise your hands like that because it didn't go in, because it wasn't a good goal and I was like, I'm doing what the head ref told me! And they were just they were screaming at me. They just would not stop. I was like, Okay!

Mindy: I could say as someone that was a base coach for a T ball team of like, eight year olds, boy, you want to talk about passion? I again one of the only times I almost got in a physical altercation as an adult. Eight year old T ball! It’s just like, Get out of my face, Mama. Out of my face. 

Anna: Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, I mean, but that's the intensity. I liked writing Ellen, who didn't have that intensity to begin with because that, you know, that wasn't really my experience. I, like, went to my first practice, didn't know what I was doing, but still trying to bite someone. Um, but I liked writing of them, kind of like really not knowing that she had that in her. And then as she gets more into it, more into it, she's like, Yes, like I desperately want to do this thing. 

Mindy: Well, it just takes a certain thing, you know, some of that one thing that flips that switch inside that person and it’s like, No, I will do this better than you!

Ad: Is pain a part of your daily writing ritual? Does being trapped behind a desk irritate your symptoms? There's a way to treat your pain from behind the laptop using The Better Patch, a discreet transdermal patch that can be applied anywhere you feel discomfort or pain. CBD is absorbed through the skin over a 10 hour period to target delivery to the joints and muscles, and can reduce inflammation in people struggling from arthritis. Choose The Better Patch today. For a more comfortable writing experience, visit the better patch dot com now to learn more.

Mindy: Real quick, you've mentioned it a couple of times. Obviously, J. K. Rowling has become a problem for a lot of different reasons. And your book is like, really, really tied into the Harry Potter fandom. What has that experience been like for you?

Anna: Not great, Bob. So I started writing this book in 2014. It was my debut. I was writing it at the same time that I was writing my debut middle grade. So really, it was one of the first books that I like, sat down to seriously write. So it took me a long time because it's a little more character driven than plot driven. I didn't have a good sense of necessarily where it was going other than like and then there will be a tournament, and she will lose her cleat! 

I guess it was a lot of exploration, and basically it took me a long time. But it means that in the time it's taken me to write this book, a lot has changed. And sometimes I look at the book and I'm like, Wow, you know, this would have been a little better if it had come out in 2016 2017 2018. But it didn't so I mean, I'm still proud of the book. I still really hope it finds its readers, but it has been kind of disappointing, especially this recent, like maybe the last six months, because JK Rowling, you know, she was kind of circling the TERF drain and then suddenly, like dove. 

There had been a while where I was making sure to put in things like, Oh, you know, some people haven't read the book and that's fine. Things like That's where I was like, kind of trying to put a little bit of distance in the text and then in my final pass pages, it was like the week after she had gone full TERF on Twitter and I had to kind of like run in and just try and take out as many of the fun references as I could without losing important conversations. 

This book has its roots in the Harry Potter fandom at a time when many authors were saying, I've gone through and scrubbed every reference of Harry Potter out of my new book. I really couldn't do that. It kind of sucked because I kind of wanted To at the same time. I'm hopeful that because there are so many of us who are in the same boat who are dealing with these feelings of disappointment or feeling like we've been really let down by something that was so important to us in such a big part of our identity. Harry Potter fans are hard core. It was a moment in history for some people. It could be nice to see the book that focuses on the fandom and the inclusive aspect of the fandom and the space that we are all making for each other. That also says fuck TERFS and like we don't need to be tied to what the series used to be. What we feel about it is the relationships we've formed, all of that stuff. It's still hard because even saying that I know there are some people who just don't want to interact with Harry Potter anymore, and I totally get that. I mean, I even sort of feel it. It's just that I don't really have a choice because I'm marketing a Quidditch book.

Mindy: Obviously marketing and just the existence of the book itself. I mean, that's all part of it just emotionally and personally, like you're saying. That's very difficult. And personally, my approach has been because now obviously JK Rowling is the biggest example. But you know, there have been authors that have really, um, disappointed me in the past, but there have been authors that are dead that disappointed me, right? Like I would find it, find an interview or something that they said or learn something that I didn't know and just be like, Oh no, right? And just be very upset by it. And, you know, personally, that I just feel betrayed. 

And I think there comes a point where you have to separate the art from the artist. With JK Rowling That is particularly difficult. But for me, I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan. I enjoyed it. I had a good time with it. I moved on. So I know that with that particular fandom, it's more difficult. But for me, if there's a book or a movie, or even like a song, whatever. If there's something that I really like and the artist or the Creator is problematic, I have begun the practice of just being like, You know, I don't like you, I don't agree with you, but I can still interact with your art in a way that is meaningful to me. I don't want to be made to feel guilty about the fact that, like, for example, the Usual Suspects is one of my favorite movies of all time. Kevin Spacey sucks now. It's like you can't watch Kevin Spacey without thinking about it. I'm not going to never watch The Usual Suspects again. 

Anna: We've seen with some very recent YA Twitter discourse that people get really invested in whatever I read and loved should be the thing that the next generation reads and loves. The way you were just talking about, you know, wanting to see you play on that sports team. And then you see your kids play on that sports team and then someday they'll be here watching their kids. We feel that about books and about movies and about art. It's hard to let that go. Sometimes it's hard to realize, like just because something was meaningful to me doesn't mean we need to replicate it for all the next generations. That was a big mental step that I think a lot of us had to take when Harry Potter, when J. K. Rowling went full on TERF. It was to say, Wow, what I found in the Harry Potter books. I have to now be okay with, like hoping that people find that somewhere else, which is how it works anyway. It was gonna happen anyway. There's just something very weird about that. It's like it goes against our instinct, which is like, Oh, this is great! Everyone should have it! 

Mindy: I read War and Peace. I really did do a deep dive, like I loved it. It was a long winter. So I decided I was going to read War and Peace, and I went in on it like really hard. And I loved it and I was so excited about it. And then there's this line at the very end and it's like one of the married couples. And it's like “and she was a great wife because she knew just to be quiet and agree with her husband, no matter what.” Hey, fuck you, dude. No Tolstoy! No. And then got to reading a little bit of how he treated his wife. And it was not good and all these things on then I'm like, Okay, but does that repudiate War and Peace? Does this one line? I'm like, It sucks, And I had been highlighting passages. I always do this. I write in all my books and I highlighted that passage and I wrote ASSHOLE on the side like I'm just like I made a statement about how I feel about this one line. It tainted how I felt about the book. It was one of the things that I took away from the book. And then, of course, as I was saying, had that reaction where I just went and found out about Leo Tolstoy’s character and you know, But at the same time, he wasn't exactly living in the like least sexist area and time period of the world. 

And obviously JK Rowling does not have that excuse. So I'm certainly not giving her. I'm not giving her any leeway or wiggle room. This conversation for me is about interacting with the art and not the artist. It's not an easy road to walk. It's a bit of a quagmire, and I'm like, I feel very badly for you. Think this was your first YA book And unfortunately, the roots are in something that is being repudiated. 

Anna: I have more books coming. I have my whole, you know, middle grade trilogy that I'm really, really proud of, and I'm really, like I said, I'm really proud of this book, too, So I'm still hoping it will find readers who can find the good things in it. I've actually been really happy to see a couple reviews from people who just said like, I don't really know much about Harry Potter and I liked the book anyway, So I was like, Okay, good. Being able to see some people either find something happy to celebrate about the fandom or just say, Hey, this is a fun book and an interesting family dynamic and they're playing a weird sport. But whatever, it's still cool. 

Mindy: Why don't you let listeners know where they can find you online and where they can find the book? 

Anna: I’m mostly on Twitter. I'm on Twitter way too much, my six year old tutor student said. I Googled you and I found your Twitter. You tweet a lot. Uh, I was like, Wow! Called out. So you can find me on Twitter at AnnaMisboring . Or my website, which is just Anna Meriano dot com. If you want to see details about the book preorder campaign, where you could get some cool headbands or if you want to see some live streams I've been doing as a lead up to the book launch, you can go to Anna Meriano dot com slash This is how we fly.

Ad: Make your pages look professional with Vellum. Margins, headers, page numbering, font, line spacing - all happen automatically with every book you create. Generate ebooks for Kindle, Apple Books, Kobo and others. Or deliver a beautiful print book to your readers. Visit http://www.tryvellum.com/pants To learn more. Vellum. Create beautiful books.

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.

Dina Brumfield On Tracing Women's Rights In China Through Fiction

Mindy: We're here with Dina Brumfield to talk about Unbound, A Tale of Love and Betrayal in Shanghai. So, first of all, why don't you talk a little bit about your personal background and some of the elements from your own life that helped inspire you to write this book?

Dina: This book is a very, very intimate account of mine and people around me, their lives. So I was born in China in Shanghai and I was raised there, lived in a time when basically China was closed off to the entire world. In the time that I was in China, China went through a lot of change from entirely closed to slowly open up. Eventually, I left China to join my family in 1989. You can figure that English is my second language. So I came over here, had a very limited language scale, and I never thought I would write a book in English. 

Of course. I mean I always aspired to be a writer when I was kid, but I thought I would write in Chinese. I thought, you know, the dream to be a writer is just pretty much dead. I mean, it's impossible for me to make it become reality. However, the life that I had in China… somehow it just stayed with me during the time I'm here--I've been here more than 30 years. 

So I went back to China several times. Talk to people there, the young people there. China went through a huge change since I left. Basically raised to a World Player pretty much on the equal footing with us. Now I talk to young people. They Say what are you talking about? Like it’s so far fetched of a story to them? And I wasn't that long ago that I go, Oh, my God, it's only 30 years and people forgot. So that's why I feel like I'm compelled to write a story. As I said, loosely based on my life and also people around me. The reason I do that is because I think history shouldn't be forgotten. When you remember history, there is less chance for history to repeat itself. 

It is about two very strong woman, a granddaughter and grandmother who lived in the 1970’s and 1930’s Shanghai--by the way 70’s Shanghai and the 30’s Shanghai are to complete different worlds--and their struggle to free themselves from, you know, visible and invisible bonds. 

You know, I'm not a seasoned writer and English is my second language. So it was very difficult for me to write, so I didn't have, like, a preconceived outline as how the story should go. You know, I'm not… I wasn't very sophisticated. I'm still not very sophisticated in terms of writing. But somehow this book, I guess it's from my heart. It touched a lot of issues. Women's rights, like freedom, these issues, they're still very relevant in today's world. 

Mindy: Talk to me a little bit about English being your second language and writing a novel in your second language. I'm sure that really produces a whole slew of complications and just an added layer of difficulty for you. Did you write it in Chinese first and then translate, or did you just dive in and began writing it in English? 

Dina: I started in English. Actually, I'm in no man's land right now. So after 30 years in the United States, I don't say my English is great, but my Chinese is terrible, too. So I forgot. My writing in Chinese has become really difficult now, so I really appreciate that the Chinese computer in the Chinese apps I can look up. But anyway, yes, I started in English when I started writing a book, and when I started, I just wrote one page, just the first thing of my book because that scene was my experience and I lived through it. So after all, these years, I still could see it. So I took a writing class and the teacher says, Well, you write something, write one page. So I said, Well, what am I supposed to write? But I could see my experience. Actually, it's almost like, very visual, like the picture in my mind. So I just wrote What I saw and the teacher says it’s actually really good. I need a lot of, you know, clean up, of course, but he actually likes what I wrote. So that was the starting point of my book. 

Mindy: How old were you then when you decided to sit down and begin this process?

Dina: Forties. I was raising my son at the time, my job just didn't work out the way I wanted. I used to live in California. Then I moved to D. C. And my company Let me take my job with me, so I worked remotely. But over the time--I did that for about like fifteen years--Over the time the company went to re-org and I wasn't in office, and so I was disconnected with office politics and as a result they just dumped me into some corner. I thought the heck,  I'm just gonna quit. My husband says- You always wanted to write a book. Maybe it's time for you to try it. Are you kidding? I cannot do that. I just don't have the skill. It's impossible, he said. Okay, try it. Try it. You don't know until you try it. So that's how I signed up for the writing class. And that's how it started. 

Mindy: Coming back to the book, one of the things that's really interesting about it is it has two different timelines. It's set in 1930’s and in 1980’s Shanghai. So writing about those two different time periods and how different China was in 50 years, can you talk a little bit about that about writing the two different timelines and kind of exploring those differences in the same setting? 

Dina: Actually, this is the interesting part of the book. Well, in the 1970s and 1980s I'm very familiar with it because I lived through it. That wasn't difficult for me all these years. I still can see what Shanghai was like when I lived there. However, 1930s is an entirely different story because 1930’s Shanghai - It was called the Paris Off East. It was a booming city and it was full of nightlife. You know, a lot of foreigners there in Shanghai in 1930’s. Shanghai was divided by different countries. You know, they have a foreign concessions, so they have Chinese concession. French concession, British concession, the foreign concession. Even they have a lot of similarities, but because they have different cultures, so each concession is different, their architecture is just different. And the restaurants, they're different. And of course, people who lived there were different. 

You know, it was very interesting in China--and I heard a lot of stories from my grandma about 1930  China. But, you know, I didn't live there. I couldn't feel it. I couldn't touch it, you know, just, it’s quite removed from me. So I was thinking how I can bring that up from paper into life. Fortunately, I live in D. C. So I went to the Library of Congress. So and they have a Asian reading room. And when I talked to the librarian about my book about what I wanted to do, he said, Oh, I know what you need to do.

So he pulled me to the corner, and he gave me a lot of old newspapers about China, what they call microfiche. You can see the image of 1930’s China, So I basically just got engrossed in that thing for a month. Every day I go there like I gotta work, and I just, you know, visualized and see and read the news and see the images of people, how they walk and what the city looks like and just over and over and over and over. And then I eventually could see a picture of that time in Shanghai. And that's how I started. 

Mindy: Going back then, just to those time jumps 1930s and then to 1980s. And then again, just-- it's not necessarily part of the book, but here today China, of course, is greatly changed again. So, do you see any relevance then, between your book and what is happening in China today? Can you talk about the timeliness of your novel?

Dina: I'm not a political person, but I see a lot of similarities in 1930s women. I'm talking - this book is mostly about women. Their life is very restricted. I mean they don't have a lot of freedom. Everything is basically determined for them. Although in the 1930s it was a lot less common -- But still, some women still have bound their feet. That's a lot of physical restriction put on women. That the book is about a grandmother, and she lived in the 1930s and she tried to find love for herself, which failed, of course. Then she tried to break through what was imposed on her and to find freedom in the course of looking for freedom, she sacrificed a lot, and she had to abandon her daughter. 

In my time in the 1970s, women had a lot more power then. We were equal. We could go to school. We call it the college. You know, we could get pretty much all the jobs man could.  Again however, the restriction posted on us is not man and a woman. By then, it's all political. We had to tow the party line. We couldn't do a lot of things that we wanted to do. We couldn't even dress the way that we want to dress. We couldn't listen to the music you wanted to listen to and we had no freedom to pursue what we wanted to do even after you go to college, because a job was assigned to you. So that there is, there's a lot of restrictions. As a result, the character in my book then left the country to pursue her own freedom. 

Today people seem like they have so much freedom. They have a lot more money in their pocket. They could have traveled the world. They could have a lot of things that I couldn't do. However, they still have to tow the line. They cannot say they cannot openly, you know, express their idea, if it's not in line with the party line. And they still have to be very, very careful. So otherwise, you just don't know what's gonna happen to you. The security law, they passed in Hong Kong. I was so sad, you know, that just opens the door for people to go to your home, take your parents away for no reason, and then they slap something on you saying, Oh, you said something against our security law. Whatever. China has changed the law on the surface, but deep in core, I'm not saying the same, I'm sure some steps forward but still have a lot of similarities. So that's why I think my book touched upon that subject. 

Ad: Tune in to the Choose Your Struggle podcast for in depth interviews featuring guests with lived experience on the topics of mental health, substance misuse and recovery and drug use. Experience their stories to help end stigma and normalize difficult conversations through empathy and vulnerability. 

Dina.png

Each year, over 125,000 Americans die from overdose and suicide combined. These deaths are completely preventable, but until we can have honest conversations around these topics, these lives will continue to be lost. Listen in to help end the stigma and ensure that those who need help get the help they deserve. Because we're in this together. Tune in to the Choose your Struggle podcast.

Ad: Help end child hunger simply by drinking coffee. Free Lunch Coffee is on a mission to end child hunger from the world, because when a child doesn't have to worry about their next meal, they can focus on improving their natural gifts and talents to make a real difference in the world. With every bag of coffee you buy from Free Lunch Coffee, you're supporting a child to get a meal for two weeks. Free Lunch Coffee gives away 50% of the money they make to end hunger in the lives of underprivileged Children. Their coffee is specialty grade, certified, organic and fair trade, all while offering 100% money back guarantee for 30 days. My listeners can receive a 10% discount. Just use coupon code FIRE for a 10% discount at free lunch, coffee dot com.

Mindy: And like you said, it is focused on women and female characters. So can you talk a little bit specifically about the woman's life than in China in the 193o’s versus the 1980’s and the difference specifically for females?

Dina: In 1930s China, Even though Shanghai was very modern at the time, a very modern Metropolitan, the core was still very restrictive for women. They cannot date. They cannot marry somebody they love, and the marriage is mostly arranged by family and in some cases, arranged when they were just born. And most women at the time, they didn't go to school. A lot of women at the time couldn't read and write. When they were at home, their fate was controlled by their fathers, when they married after they married, their fate was controlled by their husbands. They had no rights. 

And if they have Children and the husband divorce you and you don't get your Children, the Children automatically belong to the husband's family. So you are nothing. Ao most divorce was unthinkable back then. There is this saying in China is like - you married chicken you go with chicken. Marry dog, Go with dog. So if you are married, you're married. Doesn't matter who you married. You're gonna stick for the lifetime whether you're happy or not. 

Women had no education. That's why my character was very unusual. And she not only chose her own lover to marry and she actually decided to divorce him. Of course, she had to sacrifice a lot, but yeah, she was very strong. And she stood up for herself.  In the 1980’s Women, as I said on the surface, Mao during this time was really promoting equal rights for women, although it was not entirely equal because I remember when I was kid, heir salaries were determined by the government. My dad's salary was more than my mom's so I guess that wasn't equal, even though my mom was a very skilled surgical nurse. 

So when I was growing up, I didn't feel a lot of restrictions. I went to school with boys. I took the college examination and I went to college just like any other boy. Not so much restriction for girls, but the restrictions were on a large scale as a system, systematic repression basically, imposed on everyone, not just girls. I left China 30 years ago. Now I'm looking at the Chinese government. There are quite a few powerful women there, and I look at the business and it seems like there are quite a few women there. But I think over time women in China, they did elevate themselves quite a bit. Sexism, it's much less, and I think they provide the opportunity for women to move up. So long as you tow the line. You have to tow the party line. 

Mindy: Unbound is your first novel and, of course, highly personal to you and had so many elements of your own life and the lives of the people around you. It took you 10 years to write and publish this book because it is so intensely personal. Do you have any plans to continue on writing more novels or working more in The publishing arena? 

Dina: Being a writer has been my dream, and now I actually can hold my book. It's quite amazing. Yeah, I think I will write more, but a lot of people are asking me if I'm going to write the sequel. I'm not sure about that, but I'm writing, my second book is already… I finished the first draft of my second book, but I'm not happy with it. So am I taking another like 5 to 6 years to write it, so I don't know. But yes, I'm gonna continue to write. 

Mindy: That's wonderful, and you are right about holding your book. It is a wonderful moment to see something that was mostly in your mind. And as you were saying before, it's like a Series of pictures for me, too. It's very visual. It's like a movie in my head, and when you've moved that out into the world and it's a physical thing that you can hold, it's a very, very cool feeling.

Dina: It is. I cried. 

Mindy: I think I probably did, too, to be honest with you. That first novel is so special in so many ways and yours particularly because it's so personal. 

Dina: Yes,it is very personal. So hopefully the second novel is not going to be personal, and I've actually decided to write a different story. I have a couple of stories in my head, so some will be a lot of a lot more fun, less heavy.

Mindy: That's wonderful. Last thing - Why don't you tell us where listeners can find you online and where they can buy the book? 

Dina: It's a historical book, and a lot of you know, historical facts are very unfamiliar to people in this country, So I actually on my website Dina Brumfield dot com I put some background to help readers to understand my book so you can look for Dina Brumfield dot com And also I have Facebook, Instagram, under my name Dina Brumfield. 

Ad:             Make your pages look professional with Vellum. Margins, headers, page numbering, font, line spacing - all happen automatically with every book you create. Generate ebooks for Kindle, Apple Books, Kobo and others. Or deliver a beautiful print book to your readers. Visit http://www.tryvellum.com/pants To learn more. Vellum. Create beautiful books.

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at  Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.


Charise Harper On Her Graphic Novel To Help Middle Graders With Embarrassment

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

Ad:             Make your pages look professional with Vellum. Margins, headers, page numbering, font, line spacing - all happen automatically with every book you create. Generate ebooks for Kindle, Apple Books, Kobo and others. Or deliver a beautiful print book to your readers. Visit http://www.tryvellum.com/pants To learn more. Vellum. Create beautiful books.

Mindy: So I'm here with Charise Mericle Harper, who's the author of So Embarrassing: Awkward Moments and How to Get Through Them, which is a nonfiction graphic novel for middle graders. So first of all, as a former high school library and I have to say how fantastic this is, what a wonderful idea. I mean, we all know that your early teen years are so difficult, so this is just wonderful. I think to have this book to show kids how to deal with those moments because we're all gonna have them.

Charise: Absolutely. We're all gonna have them. And thanks for inviting me to talk about it. I do want to say that it's not completely nonfiction, certain elements of it are made up, silly stories, and some of these silly stories don't happen to real people. But if they did well, then they're prepared because they read the book. So basically, the reason why I wanted to make the book was for the exact reason that you said is that kids are so sensitive in middle school to their peers if they know that other people are suffering, too, it just makes you feel a little bit better that you know you're not alone because I think sometimes you just feel like the spotlight is directly on you. And that was the case, even though it feels like it's the case. 

Mindy: Absolutely, it does. And I also think that, like it's really important a lot of time, the kids that are a little more, have struggled a little more with self esteem or perhaps aren't the most popular kids. They feel like those embarrassing moments only happened to them, but they happen to everyone. Having some of these possible events and situations illustrated in a graphic novel is just wonderful. So can you tell us an example of one of the embarrassing moments that is in the book? 

Charise: Some of these were taken from things that have actually happened to me in the past. There is a scenario in the book where somebody calls somebody by the wrong name, and instead of correcting the person directly that they have their name wrong. This is the character is Gary, and by mistake, they call him Barry. Instead of Gary saying, Well, you know, I'm sorry, my name's Gary, he lets it go. This can snowball into something that is really hard to deal with later, in the sense that Gary/Barry is introduced to other people by his incorrect name. So now there's more than one person that knows him as Barry. And so what does he do with this situation when suddenly all these people know him as Barry and his name's not Barry, and now he hasn't said anything about it, which is even more embarrassing than if he had said something in the beginning. It just snowballs into that kind of situation. 

And the same thing happened with this cafe that I go to all the time. I knew the owner, uh, from going there all the time. And he did call me Charice. I think the first couple times I went in there when we first moved here. But then somehow he changed my name and it became, Hey, Clarisse, how's it going? And I was taken aback like Oh my gosh, I felt weird because he'd already pronounced my name properly the first couple times, and now he was calling me something different, so I didn't know what to say. But then every subsequent time I didn't say anything, and every time I walked in there, I had this anxiety about Oh my God, he's going to say my name wrong, and he would be so happy to see me, they would call me Clarisse! Hey, how's it going today? 

And then the other people that worked there knew my name. And so it became the situation where they knew I wasn't saying anything to him, and he was calling me the wrong name. And I just started going to another cafe because I couldn't deal with it. And I just felt so bad, you know, after, like, a couple months, I went back there and he had my name correctly, but it was just... He knew that I hadn't said anything. I was just like, Oh, my gosh, this is like, so embarrassing. I’m an adult. I should know better than this. And the lesson is, you just have to really deal with this thing right away, because otherwise it becomes something so much bigger, that you have to now circumvent your regular habits to deal with this situation, and it just takes up more of your life. So much better to make a joke about it and handle it right away. 

Mindy: Absolutely. And I'm really glad you bring names and confusing people or their names up because that's a problem that continues like into adult life, and it is kind of a difficult one to handle. I know that as a fellow author, when I'm doing signings, I'll have a face coming through the line. And because I worked at a high school for almost 15 years, I have, you know, 15 years worth of students out there that all expect me to remember their name, right? And it's like I don't. I simply don't. I found a little trick. 

Fellow authors, if you are involved in that type of situation, especially if you're a teacher or worked with the public in some way, when I have a kid come through that I know (of course they're adults now), but if I have one come through and it's like I know I know this person and I know they were student, but I cannot remember their name. And of course I'm personalizing a book for them. I look up and I say, Hey, it's so great to see you again. Remind me what's your last name? And they'll tell me their last name. And most of the time my memory can fill in their first name. What’s bad is when they're like it's Miller and I'm like, Okay, yeah, I can't fill in that one, right? And I'll just be like, Okay, so then the other resort that I go to is, “remind me how to spell your first name.” 

Because especially with a name like Rebecca or Mallia or Michaela is one - there's so many different ways that I can get away with that. But I did have an incident just like a month ago, and it was actually one of the organizer's that I had been in contact with for a couple of months, getting the event set up. Her name had simply slipped my mind once she came through the line to have her book signed. And I was like, Okay, like, remind me how to spell your name. Just so I know, I get it right And she said, Oh, it's Peg. And I was just like, Yeah, of course it is. Of course it's Peg, you dumb ass, Mindy. I was just like, Okay,  I didn't know if you wanted it to be Peggy or, you know, whatever she's like. No, I go by Peg and I'm like, “Okay, good job! Good recovery keep going.” But like as an adult with these things don't stop. Like you can still have these situations happen as an adult.

Harper.png

Charise: Obviously, my story illustrates you're not any better at dealing with it. It happens to everybody, but the great thing about embarrassment is that it is something everybody shares. stories from embarrassing moments. It's a great way to connect with people. I think it's a great icebreaker. If everybody shares an embarrassing story, suddenly you're right there with the people who have similar stories to share, and it just makes us feel like, Okay, we're all human. We're all dealing with this. 

And I went to a dinner party and it was a bunch of families that didn't know each other. A bunch of ranges of kids that were, you know, teenagers and younger and we were all asked to write on the card our embarrassing story that we wanted to share with the group. But as we went through, I mean, the kids were just so excited about sharing their embarrassment stories and my kids said stuff that I didn't even know what happened to them, you know, just like amazing. It's really something that people want to talk about, but there's no way to talk about it unless you call it out. 

Mindy: Absolutely. And I think another lesson here, too, especially for kids. And I know that sometimes it's really hard if your a parent to get your kid to realize that you were their age once too. And I think maybe sharing your own stories is a wonderful way to help your own biological children, or perhaps if you work with kids in some capacities or either as an author, a writer, a teacher, a library in whatever the case may be, it helps to see --  you know you'll be okay. You'll remember this and one day you will laugh about it. 

I remember my senior year, so this would have been late nineties. The National Honor Society was invited on a trip to D. C. And we had a really cool schedule, and we actually got to go in the Pentagon. Of course, this was all pre 911 and we were able to go into the Pentagon because one of our students’ uncles worked there, so we got to tour the Pentagon and we were waiting to get security clearance so that we could go in and there was an entire West Point cadets class waiting for the same thing. And of course, they're all like at attention and wearing their uniforms and looking, you know, they're all, like, basically our age and mostly male, very attractive. 

One of my best friends walked over to say something to me, and, of course, we're in civilian clothes, and we have been asked to dress up to visit the Pentagon. So she's wearing a dress and a skirt and she trips over someone's book bag and just face first down in the hall in the Pentagon, in front of an entire class of West Point cadets. And her skirt flies up, you know, underwear up in the air, everything. And of course, we were like, Oh my God, we all help her back up. And she I mean, she wanted to die. Her face was so red, like she had to cry like it was horrible. Meanwhile, all these West Point cadets are trying so hard to keep their faces straight because, like they're at attention. She can laugh about it now. She could laugh about it now, but it took some time, right?

Charise:  Absolutely. And actually, when I was doing some research for this book, they've done some experiments that there is sort of this innate desire for people to laugh at somebody falling down. That's kind of hard wired. It's not out of menace or it's not out of trying to punish the person that fell down. It's just something that's that's absolutely hardwired in our system. People falling down is, I guess we have to say it's funny and unfortunately, not funny for the person that fell. And when that happens to you and that obviously happened to me, I mean, it is, and I blush to, like, incredibly, at the slightest thing. Um, it's really hard to deal with, and so one of the ways that you can sort of try to get your mind off of it - because what your mind is doing is replaying this loop of what just happened over and over again. 

Try to think of something else, and the way to do that is to have something to go to already. If I'm gonna be embarrassed, I'm going to count down from 10 to 1, 15 times in a row and so that you already know before you ever get embarrassed, that's where you're going. And I have a stupid little poem that I say to myself. So if I'm trying to get my mind off of that loop once you're not thinking about that continuously, you can help yourself sort of breathe more regular and get yourself calmed down. But unless you prepare yourself before it happens in that moment, you can't find a place to go to. 

You know, even if you think I'm never gonna be embarrassed, just think. If I was embarrassed, what should I do? Maybe I'll say that silly poem I know. Or maybe I'll do the lyrics to that song. Try to say them really slowly or I'll do some counting just so that you could maybe click into it if it happens to you. And I think that it is nice to have something in your hand that you can hold onto as a safety, you know, if you get in trouble. 

Mindy: I think that's fascinating what you were saying about the knee jerk reaction to laugh when someone falls down. Can you tell us about any more any kind of research that you did for this book then? Because I am, I am fascinated at some of the different kinds of less well known areas that you ventured into in order to write this book.

Charise: I tried to just research embarrassment, and in general, one of the most interesting things I came across was when I talked this clinical therapist, and I didn't know this, she said - Embarrassment is something you do to yourself. What do you mean by that? I mean, No. It's something that happens to me and she said, No, you decide to be embarrassed. I'm not saying it's your fault, but it's your choice to be embarrassed. And it is a social construct to have people be embarrassed, because what happens is we are part of the social community, and as middle schoolers or kids in school, they are part of a smaller social community, and within that community there's peer pressure to behave in a certain way. 

And so scientists said that we're hardwired to conform to that peer pressure because we want to stay as part of that society and our innate desire to not be embarrassed and to not step out of what we're supposed to do keeps us in that social environment. And so knowing that, you sort of feel like, well, you're not really thinking about, Should I be doing this, or should I be doing that? You are, in a sense, hardwired to behave in a certain way based on the social community, you’re part of, and that keeps us behaving as citizens of the world and in our communities. If you're in middle school, you have the way you act at school and then you have the way you act at home and then you have the way you act in a broader community of where you live, and then you have the way you act in your town and then just keeps going and going, and all these add elements to the way you behave. I found that really interesting, that biological reason to behave in a certain way, and the outcome of that is that we have social systems that work and that we're not constantly having To inform people that they're misbehaving because we're hardwired ourselves to behave appropriately.

Mindy: Our social contracts that we have with one another are a very interesting system construct if you, when you look into it some of the codified methods of behavior and interaction that we don't realize that we are actively participating in yet we are every day. One other thing that I want to ask you about that I think, is really interesting and useful both for young teens and young adults and adults. Are there any methods in this book about how to help someone else with an embarrassing moment? Because I know I myself really as a teen and and especially as a middle grader. I was just fairly mortified all the time, like constantly worried about looking dumb or saying the wrong thing. And just over the course of maturation I kind of moved past that, of course, not entirely. As you know, I just told you about a story last month where I had an embarrassing moment, but I've just kind of learned To let him slide. They're gonna happen. I'm sure that I will mess up amazingly again soon, more than likely, but I find myself, because I have reached a point where I'm more comfortable with my own social gaffes that when I see someone else like struggling or if I see him, someone having a bad moment, I always find a way to make them feel better. Try to like, usually by denigrating myself. 

I go to the gym a lot, but I didn't used to. And I remember coming into the gym, not knowing the people there, not knowing the social network there and not being able to do a pull up. Sometimes, if a pull up is part of the workout in the class, it's really embarrassing to be the person that raises your hand and says, I can't do that. Can I have a substitute movement? And so when I see someone kind of blanche, when they see a pull up in the workout, I'll just kind of walk out and be like, Hey, or you know, you're worried about the pull ups or don't feel bad. It took me five years before I could do even one and, you know, give them a substitute movement. So do you have any tips or tricks for especially middle graders about how to help others when they have their own moments of struggle? 

Charise: What you just said, I think you have to share something that happened to you, too, or you know, it's like it's not so bad. It's the time, you know, I fell down too and that's really what this book is about. It's about sharing your story, to make others feel better, because there is no real trick to help somebody instantly feel better. The biggest power we have is to share our own story and by sharing our own story, they're not alone anymore. Not being alone. There are tips to like, you know how to calm yourself down if you're blushing and how to try to get your heart rate back to normal and things like that. But I feel like in an embarrassing moment. The biggest thing is that inner voice in your head that it's saying that this is the worst thing that has ever happened. That is a normal feeling, and at that moment everybody feels that feeling. 

But this is actually what's going on. And the truth is, people don't care about you as much as you think they do, in the sense that they’re not thinking about you every moment of the day, it's not like they're talking about you every moment of the day. I mean with social media you think they might be, but it's not. People don't care about other people as much as or the mistakes that other people make, as much as the person who made the mistake is thinking that they do. In your mind, you can create these stories that are so much bigger than what actually happened. And certainly in middle school that can happen to exponential amounts. But the truth is that people aren't spending their whole day talking about the time you tripped in the hallway. To you, It's gonna last for days. That's the big difference in who's looking, and I Think sharing is really the strongest weapon we have against embarrassment.

Mindy: I love your point, too, about being uber aware of your own situation and not necessarily realizing that it isn't as prevalent to everyone else. I had author Matt Haig on the show a couple of weeks ago. He is a British novelist, and he has written multiple fiction but also some nonfiction, and one of his books called Notes on a Nervous Planet is all about anxiety of modern life, and he has a wonderful line in there that I just highlighted because I loved it so much and he said, Don't worry about what you look like. Other people don't care. They're worried about what they look like. Absolutely. I'm 40 years old and I read that line and I was like, I never thought of that before. 

You know, I want to bring up something that you just mentioned. We've been talking about embarrassing moments in real life and in front of people. But what about those embarrassing moments on social media, which obviously is a huge area of concern, especially for teenagers today, right?

Charise: I purposefully didn't delve into social media that much because I don't have the knowledge. But one thing I did talk about in the book waas, especially on Instagram, the prevalence of likes and how you like something research on that when you get A like you have this shot of dopamine going into your system, that is like, Oh, this a positive thing. It's like addicting, having a little hit of chocolate or something. And so you become addicted to, You know the pings on your phone saying that people like you. But the interesting part of that is that they've done some studies, the exact same image on Instagram from what would be a random person that nobody knew if the image had already amassed, you know, in excess of like 1000 likes versus an image that only had five likes people were more likely to like the image that already had 1000 likes 

They don't know who the person is. They are just going to go with what everybody else liked. We are part of that social construct again. We're trying to be like everybody else. A lot of that is people just seeing other people liking it, so they like it, too. And it doesn't mean that they really like it. It just means that, okay, I want to be part of the group. So I'm gonna click it. That's interesting in that you cannot define yourself by how popular are are on social media, because there's so many elements that are playing into it that you have absolutely no control over absolutely so.

Mindy: Very true. And it really does lend way too much power to social media which already has more than it needs in our lives. Yeah, for sure. I just want to add that again, The book is called So Embarrassing: Awkward Moments and How to Get Through Them. It releases November 10th. It is a graphic novel for middle grade readers. And would you like to let our listeners know where people can find you online? 

Charise: Absolutely. They confined me at my name, which is Charice Harper dot com, And that's my website, and there's links to everything on there, and I'm on Instagram and Facebook. Not so much, but I hope that kids enjoy it. I really do. I think if I read this book when I was a kid, I feel like that would have been somewhat helpful. So That's my push. 

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at  Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.