Today we welcome actress and author Reagan J. Pasternak to the blog! Her book Griffin’s Heart, is an interactive guide to pet loss and navigating the grief process. Through journaling, healing exercises, and contributions, readers will find an outlet for their pain while creating a keepsake filled with beautiful memories. Author Reagan Pasternak’s own story unfolds as the pages progress, reminding readers that they are not alone in their sorrow and that hope exists for all of us.
Pet loss can be highly traumatic for owners, but there aren't a lot of resources out there for someone to process it. What made you decide to fill that niche?
I think the grief, and incomplete feeling I experienced after losing my soul-mate animal, Griffin, was so prevalent in me for so long, that I initially started writing Griffin's Heart as an outlet for my own pain. I needed a way to communicate the specific way I was interpreting the loss. I wanted to understand, and find meaning in what it meant to love and lose an animal. Eventually I realized how many other people were feeling exactly the same way as I was and I started writing the book with other mourners in my mind. That's how the book evolved into becoming something so interactive, and ultimately a keepsake. I never set out to fill a niche exactly -- I was just completely compelled to immerse myself in the project and hoped it helped people heal.
Do you find that some people push back against the idea that the loss of a pet can be just as painful as losing a family member?
I think that many people absolutely dismiss this brand of grief. In fact, I have a chapter entitled "Some People Just Don't Get It" for that specific reason. I actually just lost my fourteen year old dog last week whom I loved with all of my heart, and, let me tell you, this pain is real. But I have learned to share my grief with only those who really have gone through something similar. Honestly, you are the only one who will ever really understand what your animal meant to you, so you have to allow yourself space to honor that and work through it.
The pandemic brought about a rash of pet adoptions. Do you think this is a good thing, or do you have some concerns that a "pandemic puppy" may end up losing its allure once it's time to go back to work?
I absolutely think it's a wonderful thing. Having animals out of the shelters has been a silver-lining to this whole pandemic disaster. Of course there will be some people who look at animals as objects rather than a living being who deserves a life-time commitment, but I'm going to choose optimism here and know that most people will fall in love with these animals and have them in their lives for a long time.
What do you hope people will take away from Griffin's Heart?
My wish is that people feel a sense of peace and validation. I hope that by completing the journaling, exercises and creating a keepsake, they will feel that they honored their pet and that the pain feels a little lighter. I have learned that there are endless lessons we can learn from grief -- from love, really. I hope they can find the same sense of growth that I did from opening myself up in that way.