Actress & Author Reagan J. Pasternak On Healing After the Loss of A Pet

Today we welcome actress and author Reagan J. Pasternak to the blog! Her book Griffin’s Heart, is an interactive guide to pet loss and navigating the grief process. Through journaling, healing exercises, and contributions, readers will find an outlet for their pain while creating a keepsake filled with beautiful memories. Author Reagan Pasternak’s own story unfolds as the pages progress, reminding readers that they are not alone in their sorrow and that hope exists for all of us.

Pet loss can be highly traumatic for owners, but there aren't a lot of resources out there for someone to process it. What made you decide to fill that niche?

I think the grief, and incomplete feeling I experienced after losing my soul-mate animal, Griffin, was so prevalent in me for so long, that I initially started writing Griffin's Heart as an outlet for my own pain. I needed a way to communicate the specific way I was interpreting the loss. I wanted to understand, and find meaning in what it meant to love and lose an animal. Eventually I realized how many other people were feeling exactly the same way as I was and I started writing the book with other mourners in my mind. That's how the book evolved into becoming something so interactive, and ultimately a keepsake. I never set out to fill a niche exactly -- I was just completely compelled to immerse myself in the project and hoped it helped people heal.

Do you find that some people push back against the idea that the loss of a pet can be just as painful as losing a family member?

I think that many people absolutely dismiss this brand of grief. In fact, I have a chapter entitled "Some People Just Don't Get It" for that specific reason. I actually just lost my fourteen year old dog last week whom I loved with all of my heart, and, let me tell you, this pain is real. But I have learned to share my grief with only those who really have gone through something similar. Honestly, you are the only one who will ever really understand what your animal meant to you, so you have to allow yourself space to honor that and work through it.

The pandemic brought about a rash of pet adoptions. Do you think this is a good thing, or do you have some concerns that a "pandemic puppy" may end up losing its allure once it's time to go back to work?

I absolutely think it's a wonderful thing. Having animals out of the shelters has been a silver-lining to this whole pandemic disaster. Of course there will be some people who look at animals as objects rather than a living being who deserves a life-time commitment, but I'm going to choose optimism here and know that most people will fall in love with these animals and have them in their lives for a long time.

What do you hope people will take away from Griffin's Heart?

My wish is that people feel a sense of peace and validation. I hope that by completing the journaling, exercises and creating a keepsake, they will feel that they honored their pet and that the pain feels a little lighter. I have learned that there are endless lessons we can learn from grief -- from love, really. I hope they can find the same sense of growth that I did from opening myself up in that way.

Wednesday WOLF - Cat Got Your Tongue?

I'm a nerd. Yes, I'm in fact such a big nerd that I tend to look up word origins in my spare time because I'm fascinated by our language. The odder the origin, the better. I've got a collection of random information in my brain that makes me an awesome Trivial Pursuit partner, but is completely useless when it comes to real world application. Like say, job applications.

In any case, I thought I'd share some of this random crap with you in the form of the new acronym-ific series. I give you - Word Origins from Left Field. Er... ignore the fact that the "from" doesn't fit.

Today I thought we'd figure out why people ask those who don't wish to speak if the "cat's got your tongue?"

It's not something that's asked of me much, I'll admit.

It doesn't look like there is a dead-on answer for this one, as is the case with most idioms. However, there are some great, horrific possibilities.

The cat-o-nine tails was a nasty, nine-fingered whip with broken glass braided into it, or hooks attached to the ends. It was typically used on board ships to keep mouthy sailors in line. I suppose if my captain asked me if I had anything to say and he was holding on of those, I'd keep my mouth shut too.

Another reference I found was an ancient Middle Eastern practice of removing the tongues of liars and thieves and feeding them to cats.

Wednesday WOLF - Varieties of Cats

I’m such a big nerd that I tend to look up word origins in my spare time because I'm fascinated by our language. The odder the origin, the better. I've got a collection of random information in my brain that makes me an awesome Trivial Pursuit partner, but is completely useless when it comes to real world application. Like say, job applications.

In any case, I thought I'd share some of this random crap with you in the form of the new acronym-ific series. I give you - Word Origins from Left Field - that's right, the WOLF. Er... ignore the fact that the "from" doesn't fit.

The word cat has undergone some serious transformation over time, and I see it popping back up in my teens these days as they (unknowingly) are exhibiting Beat identity.

Obviously we're aware of cat in the feline sense, and probably quite a few of you associate it with jazz slang, but did you know it was first used as a derogatory term for migrant workers and hobos? It was a not so nice allusion to the homelessness of both populations.

Only after that did the jazz culture pick up the term, originally only using it to refer to jazz musicians themselves. Louis Armstrong referred to himself and other musicians as "cats" as early as 1922. By the early 1940's, cat had shifted towards a general term for anyone who liked jazz, swing or jive music. The hipsters, Beats, and New Bohemians of the 1950's adopted the term and used it to describe an average, run-of-the-mill person.

How do I know all this? This is not off the top of my head, believe it or not. My own curiosity from overhearing teen-speak drove me to this little gem of a book: Flappers 2 Rappers: American Youth Slang by Tom Dalzell. Check it out, or you're in danger of being a square cat, instead of a hep cat.