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I am sending my YA Paranormal Mystery, XXXX, for your consideration. I found your profile through “applicable info here” and hope my work will resonate with you.
After a soul-crushing ice-hockey finals loss and surviving a near fatal bus accident, sixteen-year-old Roman Walker suffers from a head wound and a bruised ego. This is a well written hook, but it doesn't give us any indication of what genre this could be. I'm pulled in enough to keep reading, but I think you need something more to pack a punch. He returns to his childhood home in Howick Assuming this is a South African location, due to your bio. You will want to clarify this, as most US readers wouldn't be able to infer it to convalesce at his grandfather’s house while his parents go away on business. This falls into the "easily gotten rid of parents" trope in YA, so you might want to find a better method for dispensing of them. Would they really leave Roman alone after sustaining a serious head injury? His quiet retreat soon becomes anything but.
Roman is set on edge when he starts seeing glimpses of ghosts around Howick: at the cemetery, the surrounding woods, even the local teen hangout. Not all of them look friendly—the worst ones are black, veil-like spirits that seem to tear into his mind What does this mean? He's doing more than just "seeing" them if there's an interaction. and frighten him to the core. To his surprise, he manages to talk to one of the ghosts—a teenage girl. She warns him to not let the others know what he can see, but before he can get more out of her, she vanishes. Shortly after, he comes across the girl’s face again: on a missing persons poster, next to many others. He begins to investigate the mystery behind a series of missing teens, finding cases going back decades. Roman’s unease grows, along with a feeling of being targeted, as he starts seeing more of the veil-like spirits around town. This leads him to uncover a centuries-old myth of an immortal, malevolent entity that marks her victim’s forehead with an ‘invisible’ X before taking them on a new moon each June—which is only a few days away. Interesting. I like it, but again, there's the conveneint "ghost disappears right before divulging something important" element.
Roman’s fears demand action when a new friend winds up with a blazing X above her eyes that only he can see. With the help of a diverse cast of eccentric characters (both living and not-so-living), Roman will have to race against the clock and keep his friend out of the clutches of encroaching evil, while searching for a way to confront a force that's been collecting souls for ages … and seemingly cannot be stopped. Not bad, overall. I think the title XXXX is probably working against you - I read it as simply a placeholder at first. Also, does this malevolent ancient spirit have a name? Is it based on something real? If so, name it. Also, just claiming you have a case of eccentric characters doesn't quite cut it. Listing two of three would be good. And who is this friend? Does she matter? Is there a romance? It's hard to feel any concern for someone who isn't important enough to garner a name drop in the query.
XXXX is a complete standalone novel at 93,000 words with series potential. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the spooky mystery of Harrow Lake, the cinematic narrative of the Road to Ever After, and fans of stories following the bonding of friends around supernatural forces in small town settings, like Stranger Things.
As for myself, I grew up in a blue-collar town behind mine dumps in South Africa, where getting mugged, chased by men with pangas, and being shot at, was just part of day-to-day life. I now live in England with my partner and daughter, exploring places of lore and absorbing the creative spirit of this beautiful land. I've also worked in the independent film industry and have had two of my screenplays turned into feature films. Good bio. It sets you up as being the proper person to use the setting, but again, you'll need to clarify that Howick is in South Africa for the bio to hit home.