Six Situations Worse Than Being on Submission

I’ve got a guest post for you here today on the blog. Today’s guest poster is Deanna Cabinian, author of One Night, One Love, and One Try (aka The Thompson Series). Her writing has appeared in Writer’s Digest, Writer Unboxed, and YA Interrobang. She is a graduate of the Writing in the Margins mentorship program and is represented by Penny Moore of Aevitas Creative Management.

As someone who’s spent more time than I’d like to admit scouring the internet for submission stories, I have to say Mindy’s SHIT stories are the best. If nothing else, it’s comforting to know that the anxiety felt during submission is normal (or common at least). I know what it’s like to check email nonstop and stalk deal announcements on PW and Twitter. But 2019 has been all about perspective for me. Even though writing is a big part of my life, it’s important not to let it become all-consuming. Without further ado here’s my list of Six Situations Worse than Being on Submission:

1. Falling and cracking your head open. This past February, I was walking to the recycling bin when WHOOPS I slid and fell on black ice on our front step. I fell forehead-first into decorative bricks that line our garden. There was blood everywhere, so much it clouded my vision. I looked like a crime scene and had to crawl back to the house and yell for my husband who took me to the ER. I got seven stitches and suffered painful, knife-like headaches for weeks afterwards. I’m now the owner of a Harry Potter like scar, though it has faded a lot.

2. Trying to get a quote for medical services. See a pattern here? Anything to do with medicine or healthcare is far worse than being on sub. Imagine being on hold for two hours and fifteen minutes only to find out sorry you have the wrong department, but can you try this one instead? Let me transfer you. I have wasted many an hour trying to figure out the cost of medications or procedures.

3. Visiting a loved one in the ICU. Whenever a close family member ends up in the hospital it’s always a reminder of what really matters in life. There is nothing more stressful than sitting in a waiting room for days on end hoping for positive news. It’s also very traumatic to see your mother with a breathing tube. Thankfully everything turned out okay, but it could have gone another way entirely.

4. Getting stranded at the Atlanta airport for almost ten hours. There is nothing more maddening than thinking you’re going home after a few days spent working (on a weekend no less) only to have your flight delayed not once, twice, or even three times, but four or five times. I was glad I wasn’t by myself, but only to a certain point. On the plus side I got to eat chicken and waffles at Ludacris’s restaurant and saw every bar in the airport.

5. Trying to change your cell phone plan. When you call your provider to ask if it’s possible they say yes, sure, it just takes a few minutes. In reality the process is much more complicated. Five years and multiple visits to Verizon and T-Mobile later, my husband and I are still on separate phone plans and probably will be for the next five years.

6. Learning how your favorite show ends because some people can’t keep their mouth shut. Okay, this one isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things but man it can sure ruin your day if you’ve spent weeks binge watching Lost only to have someone tell you how it ends when you’re two episodes away from the series finale. Thanks a lot, Mario.

So, there you have it. My Six Situations Worse than Being on Sub aka your gentle reminder that writing is important to us, but it isn’t all of us. I know the submission trenches are difficult, worse than querying, but we are all trying our best which is what matters.

The Saturday Slash

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Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

When Eva runs into an old friend from college, she’s immediately a little envious. I think a stronger hook is in order here. Something that indicates your genre a little more. Think: Money can buy everything... even (whatever). Just a couple of years after graduating, Eva has just been fired from her dead-end job, but her former classmate, Marin now works at a company called Ouroboros. And this is no ordinary corporation; it which enables the super-rich to upload their consciousness to the cloud when they reach old age, and live on forever in a virtual heaven.

Eva doesn't know whether to be amazed—or bitter. Around them, protests are springing up all over the overworked, underpaid city, claiming that eternal life should not only be accessible to the rich. Never mind living forever—it’s hard for most people just to be able to support themselves.

But then Marin introduces her to a colleague, Sebastian. The sophisticated programmer makes Eva feel appreciated for the first time in her life, and she begins to falls for him. They begin dating, and their connection means that Eva, too, may eventually snag a spot in the virtual afterlife.

But as their relationship progresses, things slowly change for the worse. Sebastian's dominant side, which Eva once found so appealing, becomes dangerous. It turns out that underneath Sebastian's charming exterior is a cold and calculating stranger. And when Eva learns what Sebastian has done to Marin, too vague she must make a choice between a relationship that is growing steadily more abusive, and a crumbling society in which she may no longer have a place. I'm not sure if you're talking about virtual heaven or the real world with this reference. But who's to say if Sebastian will even let her leave. Question mark here?

INTO ETERNITY is an 80,000-word work of adult upmarket fiction with a speculative twist. I have published two works with Thought Catalog Books: a book of poems, X, and a novella, Y. I have interned at two literary agencies in New York. Great bio!

The way the query is written makes it sound like the focus of the book is more on the relationship than the virtual afterlife, which is fine, as long as that is true of the manuscript. Also, you are vague about what Sebastian did to Marin... a workplace issue? Or more personal? We don't know, and the query isn't the place to tease. Also, you've got a para dedicated to the public reaction to Ouroborous, but what impact does that have on our narrator, or the story as a whole? You say she doesn't know how she should feel about the project, but not if that dribbles over into friction between her and Marin, or her and Sebastian. Tie that thought into the query to illustrate what the impact is on the actual narrative. There's quite a bit of extra verbiage here, so you can see where I trimmed things down with strikethrough to give you more room to elaborate on elements like that.

Christmas Giveaway! Enter to Win The Christmas Spirits on Tradd Street by Karen White!

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The Christmas spirit is overtaking Tradd Street with a vengeance in this festive new novel in the New York Times bestselling series by Karen White.

Melanie Trenholm should be anticipating Christmas with nothing but joy--after all, it's the first Christmas she and her husband, Jack, will celebrate with their twin babies. But the ongoing excavation of the centuries-old cistern in the garden of her historic Tradd Street home has been a huge millstone, both financially and aesthetically. Local students are thrilled by the possibility of unearthing more Colonial-era artifacts at the cistern, but Melanie is concerned by the ghosts connected to the cistern that have suddenly invaded her life and her house--and at least one of them is definitely not filled with holiday cheer....

And these relics aren't the only precious artifacts for which people are searching. A past adversary is convinced that there is a long-lost Revolutionary War treasure buried somewhere on the property that Melanie inherited--untold riches rumored to be brought over from France by the Marquis de Lafayette himself and intended to help the Colonial war effort. It's a treasure literally fit for a king, and there have been whispers throughout history that many have already killed--and died--for it. And now someone will stop at nothing to possess it--even if it means destroying everything Melanie holds dear.