The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

Three years have passed since the Elvanian King and Queen were found dead in their bedchamber, slaughtered by the rebel group known as the Belladonnas. Nice, this is a good hook that has me interested and sets up the genre Two years since the newly crowned Child Queen invaded Marigold’s home of Muscain and turned the kingdom into a prison. Ten months since Marigold found her parents hanging at the gallows for treason. I don't dislike what you're doing here, style wise, but technically these aren't complete sentences. However, I don't think it's a big bump. I did have to untangle it a little on first read, but I think it works.

One week since her best friend Naomi went missing.

Having already lost everything else — her freedom, her home, her family — Marigold sets off to find Naomi. But her search hits an unexpected bump when a conversation in a tavern implicates her as the accomplice to the very criminal who assassinated the Elvanian Crown all those years ago. I don't know if three years could be described as "all those years ago." Suddenly, Marigold finds herself on the run from the Child Queen, tangled with a rag-tag group of fugitives led by a woman named Viana Nightshade.

Growing up, Marigold knew her as Red Hand — cold-blooded assassin and leader of the Belladonnas. But the more time she spends with Viana, the more she learns that fugitive isn’t all she seems. are you missing "the" before "fugitive?" The stories spun by the Child Queen hide the truth: Viana isn’t just a killer of Kings and Queens, but a daughter of them. A princess playing fugitive, caught on the precipice of a revolution she never meant to start.

A revolution that killed Marigold’s parents, and threatens to swallow Naomi whole.

BLOOD STAINED NIGHTSHADES is a 95,000 YA fantasy novel following five perspectives: the red-handed Princess, the soldier sent to hunt her down, the Prince who tried to save her, the Child Queen abandoned on a cruel throne, and the ordinary girl caught in their intricate web of Royal lies. It is the first in a series.

Hmmm.... so the query itself is great, but then I get to the last para and there are two POV's who aren't even mentioned in the query - the soldier and the Prince. If you're able to write the query without them mentioned, its possible you don't need their POV's in the book, either. I'd reconsider structuring this in a way that makes it possible for you to get all five named POV's mentioned. Also, are all of these POV's teenagers? If some are adults, I'd all this high fantasy, rather than YA.

And last note - YA fantasy is clogged right now, and pitching something as a first in a series is a tough sell as a debut. Consdier if you can structure the book as a standalone, with series potential.

The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

If the Saturday Slash has been helpful to you in the past, or if you’d like for me to take a look at your query please consider making a donation, if you are able.

If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

The world is old, the gods are dying off, and the demons of the Underocean are about to sink the last continent. This is a good hook! You definitely have my attention. Tragic, but none of that is Alonso’s problem. Might not hurt to get a tiny bit of the danger clarified - is there going to be no land anymore? Is everyone effed? His primary concerns are fine-tuning his magical trick cards and saving up to buy his girlfriend’s freedom. From what / who? But when his estranged cousin, Clay, arrests him during a bungled burglary, the world’s problems become far less avoidable.

Demoted after a weaponized artifact shard destroys his sister and his arm, Clay still believes the artifact can defeat the demons if he reunites all the missing pieces. The trouble is, the artifact shard is locked in the same high-security magical facility as Alonso.What's the relationship like between them? You say estranged but that could be by choice, or not. A little clarity on the caper, too - is he trying to save Alonso as well, or is this just a convenience that A is already inside? Even if they do manage to escape with it, there are plenty of demon-corrupted monstrosities, undead gods, and magic-packing militants who will try to stop them – not to mention their uncle, the General, whose respect Clay is desperate to regain and whose disappointment Alonso has been avoiding for years.

Fortunately, Alonso isn’t the only prisoner willing to attempt a jailbreak. His cell block also houses a grouchy mechanic who cracks magical security systems, an anxious girl-monk with extraordinary strength, and an arrogant nun on a mission to save her god. Combining their skills, the five of them might stand a chance of finding the shards, repairing the artifact, and saving the last continent from sinking – if they don’t strangle each other first.

Nice! This is in good shape as it is, but I can rec a few tweaks. As I said before, the relationship between the cousins could use some fleshing out, and Alonso's girlfriend gets totally lost in the shuffle. She was his main priority, but she just kind of poofs. The goals go from REALLY big - save the world! To very specific - get this ONE thing! so, I'd take a moment to tie together how the two things converge to create the plot as a whole. Otherwise, looking good!

NIGHTLIGHT is a 150,000 word fantasy. This is a bit long. Fantasy gets a little room for worldbuiling, but 150k is still a big chunk for a debut. I'd try to get it down to 125 if you can, 100 if at all possible. Combining an unlikely ensemble cast with kaleidoscopic magic, the adventure plays with both humor and heartstrings, perfect for fantasy fans who wish they could read SIX OF CROWS again for the first time.

I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, From what institution? and NIGHTLIGHT is my first novel. Upon request, I am prepared to send the complete manuscript.

Terah Shelton Harris on Balancing Multiple Projects

We all like to hear about the journey to publication, and hopefully other people's success stories help bolster the confidence of those still slogging through the query trenches. But what happens after that first book deal? When the honeymoon is over, you end up back where you were - sitting in front of a blank Word document with shaky hands. Except this time, there are expectations hanging over you. With this in mind, I’ve created the SNOB (Second Novel Omnipresent Blues) interview.

Today’s guest for the SNOB is Terah Shelton Harris, author of One Summer in Savannah

Whether you’re under contract or trying to snag another deal, you’re a professional now, with the pressures of a published novelist compounded with the still-present nagging self-doubt of the noobie. How to deal?

I don’t. LOL! I don’t know if I’ll ever deal with it as much as accept it and adjust. I suffer from imposter syndrome. It’s comes and goes but its there nonetheless. I deal with it by accepting it and writing through it. Feedback helps. Nothing scares my imposter syndrome away faster than hearing that my editor, Erin, loves a chapter that I wrote or that my agent, Abby, is loving the pages I sent her. Their opinions power me to keep going. I’m also truly inspired by readers who reach out to me about the book. I try not to read reviews but when I see one that a reader wrote that truly understands the book and what I was trying to do, that motivates me. I know that I’m doing something right.

Is it hard to leave behind the first novel and focus on the second?

My goodness, yes! My process differs from other writers I’ve spoken with. My characters speak to me. They walk with me. They eat with me. They wake me up at night. They demand that I tell their story. So, I do. The problem is that when the story is told, they don’t just vanish. Well…not in my head anyway. Because I spend so much time with them, in my head, writing them, they almost feel real to me. I hope that doesn’t make me sound weird! Sara and Jacob, the two main characters in One Summer in Savannah, are real people to me and it’s hard to let them go once the book is completed. I miss them. I spent a year with them, developing them and learning about them. Then, suddenly, I’m supposed to move away from them and allow space for new characters. That’s hard! What’s more is that once I’ve moved away from them, there are times when I have to call on them again, for edits and for publicity. That approves difficult when you’ve said your goodbyes and are knee deep into the lives of new characters.

At what point do you start diverting your energies from promoting your debut and writing / polishing / editing your second?

Never! LOL! At the time of this interview, I’m two months away from the publication date of One Summer in Savannah and I’m still pouring buckets of energy to it. In fact, I’ve increased it to prepare for my upcoming book tour. All of this while editing Long After We Are Gone and starting my third book. It’s one of those weird publishing facts that no one ever talks about, especially if you have a two book deal. That you will be promoting your first, while editing your second, and reading your third.

Your first book landed an agent and an editor, and hopefully some fans. Who are you writing the second one for? Them, or yourself?

I always write for myself. Always. I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t. In order to devote the time to write a book (roughly six months to a year), it must be something I do for myself. I have to love the story, see its vision, and turn myself over to it. My next book, Long After We Are Gone, tells the story of four siblings—each fighting their own personal battle—return home in the wake of their father’s death in order to save their family home—and themselves. It’s a deeply personal story for me and I poured so much of myself into it. Something not possible if I wrote it for someone else.

Is there a new balance of time management to address once you’re a professional author? 

Absolutely. With my two book deal, I quickly had to learn how to juggle promotion of One Summer in Savannah with writing and editing Long After We Are Gone. Additionally, in the middle of this, I started writing my third book. All equally important tasks and so time management is extremely critical. For me, it’s about knowing when it’s time to flip that switch and move on to something else. This proves difficult for me as I tend to be hyper focused on whatever I’m doing at the time. 

What did you do differently the second time around, with the perspective of a published author?

Honestly, nothing. I approach the start, middle, and ending of all of my books the exact same way. I start with the plot, always. I have to know what my story is about, the overall theme, and more importantly, how it ends before I write one word. Nothing about that process changed for me with the publication of One Summer in Savannah. If anything changed, however, is the weight of expectation. I wrote One Summer in Savannah with zero expectations. I, of course, hoped and wished that it would get published. I also hoped that if it did that it will be well-received. Internal support from my publisher, Sourcebooks, has been amazing. And I knew pretty early on that they were excited about it and were fully invested in it. A good problem to have, yes, but word of this came just as I was finishing Long After We Are Gone and I began to wonder if this book would be as well-received as One Summer in Savannah.

Terah Shelton Harris is a librarian and freelance writer who now writes upmarket fiction with bittersweet endings. As a freelancer, her work has appeared in consumer and trade magazines including Catapult, Women’s Health, Every Day with Rachael Ray, Backpacker, Minority Nurse, and more. One Summer in Savannah is her first novel. Originally from Illinois, she now lives in Alabama with her husband, Jamel. Terah is a lover of life and spends most of her time reading or traveling. A world traveler, Terah has visited over 40 countries across six continents. She has watched the sunrise at the beginning of America, trekked through the jungles in the Bokeo Nature Reserve, searched for William Clark’s grave in St. Louis, and much more. Find her online at: www.terahsharris.com.