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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.
Child stars Felicity Mae Shaw and Zachary Ward were the brightest stars in Hollywood, following the wild success of their breakout kids made-for-television, break-into-song movie franchise, Breaking Free. You're hitting pretty heavy on the word "break" here. I think you're over describing what the show was, which is tripping up word flow and not getting us to what actually matters here. On screen, the fans loved their PG romance, defying expectations and following their dreams. How did they defy expectations? How did they follow their dreams? Off screen, the media loved catching them on hot-and-heavy romantic getaways, dropping condoms on the red carpet, and posting not safe for work photos at the Chateau Marmont to Instagram. Both followed What followed? Confused on that point Zac and Felicity through their romance that lasted eight years, ending with a very quiet engagement, and then an unexpected breakup shortly after.
Now, in their late twenties, Felicity, facing a longer-than-expected lull in her career, is desperate to retain any kind of stronghold within the industry, and with a life changing role on the line, she’s even desperate enough to agree to her publicist’s plan of faking a love affair with her ex, leading up to Breaking Free’s televised ten-year-reunion. This is a really long, convoluted sentence. Break up the thoughts here. Unlike Felicity, Zac has had no problems keeping that stronghold within Hollywood–the fame, the parties, and money, have they’ve elevated him to A-list. But, after a very public dismissal of the Breaking Free franchise during press for his new movie that’s getting early Oscar buzz, Zac is on a mission to clean up his party-boy reputation.
A very gossip-inducing relationship is the last thing that either want, Is it though? It sounds like that just wants Felicity is looking for. but soon, their sizzling chemistry starts to feel like more than just an act. But, to survive within the industry that they’ve known for so long, they’ll have to put aside all of the things that had come between them before–the jealousy, the parties and their perks, the constant attention from fans and casual flirting with costars–even if they threaten to do so again. Even if what happens to do so again? Confusing end here.
Told in tandem with gossip rag articles, ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING, an adult contemporary romance, complete at 82,000 words, is for fans of The View was Exhausting by Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta, and Birds of California, by Katie Cotugno.
I graduated from Madonna University with a bachelors in Journalism and Public Relations, and currently work as a Closing Agent.
I think this is a really strong and marketable idea, and for the most part, the query is quite good. You'll need to trim down some of you wording as advised above, but I think you're in good shape!