Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.
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My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.
A new Bringer and her Unburdened must break all the rules to save the kings of two dimensions and stop a generations-old curse. Typically you want a hook to grab your reader - any reader. The agent reading this doesn't know what a Bringer or an Unburdened is, so this really doesn't mean anything to them. It only means something to a person who is already acquianted with the world.
Princess Bria and Tievel are the dream team. She’s the Bringer, the one who ushers human souls to her realm of Vernichtung; same situation, we don't know what Vernichtung is, so that doesn't mean anything to us he’s the Unburdened, the one who creates the portal to the human dimension and ensures that everything goes off without a hitch.You're doing a good job of getting the explanation of what they do in here, but it needs to be more succint and the query should have swung over to plot by this point Bria’s down-to-earth but naïve nature pairs perfectly with the humorous and charismatic Tievel. They take to Bringing souls and signing off on Death certificates like wine pairs with cheese (or more wine).Nice quick character sketches, and a flash of humor - shows the (I assume) voice the book
Yet not everything is right in Vernichtung. A Bringer dies prematurely, something completely unheard of in their land. Bria is suspicious something is amiss, but when her father falls ill with similar symptoms, she has a sense of déjà vu. She’s read these exact events in one of her human fantasy books. But what she thought to be fantasy might hold more weight than she ever could have imagined. This might be a little in the weeds, for a query, plot wise. You could cut this and the next para is still doing the work of getting the plot across.
They learn the royal family of Vernichtung has been cursed, linking them to the fate of those in the human world. The royal family? Like the real, contemproary one? It’s up to Bria and Tievel to break it. Why? With her father's life on the line, she and Tievel will break all the rules: meet with a secret society, infiltrate a royal court in another dimension, and befriend a member of the usually unseen Green Guard. This is a new term. I don't know who they are or what this means, or why it's wrong. They quickly make allies wherever they go, but not everyone is what they seem. When people’s true colors begin to show, Bria and Tievel must do what they have to in order to save Bria’s father, punish the wicked, and maintain the balance. We need more info than "doing what they have to do. I can see what's at stake, but what are the obstacles, a little more specifically? Who are the bad guys?
I saw you represented [book]and hope you will find interest in my YA fantasy novel THE UNBURDENED complete at 72,000 words. It is a standalone novel with series potential.It blends the vibes and archetypes of Jennifer Armentrout’s The Harbinger series with a little playfulness similar to F.C. Yee’s The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series. Nice, good stats info and comp title para.
In my alternate life, I work as a systems analyst.
Likes: reading, the beach, curling up for a movie or video game marathon with my husband and 3 dogs, general silliness. Dislikes: People who take themselves too seriously, writing the dreaded book synopsis (but I have one if you want it).Lol - okay. I don't know that writing a bio like a dating profile is a good idea, but the last line is pretty damn funny.
Looking for the Tievel to my Bria. Thank you for your consideration.Once again, this is still a reference that means more to you than to them, so I'd cut.
Overall, not in bad shape. You need a better hook that isn't relying on familiarity with the content in order to pack a punch. The worldbuilding needs a few more details for clarity, while pulling back a little bit on that to make more room for plot. Also, if there is a romance between the two MC's, that should be mentioned.