My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

My name is (redacted). I am seeking representation for JUST ANOTHER CLICHED STORY, my debut romance novel. You really don't need to tell them your name, or the fact that you are seeking representation. Your name will be included in the sender section of the email, and they assume that you're emailing them seeking rep. You also don't need to mention that this is your debut. If you don't have publishing credits, it's an assumed. Start with the strongest thing you've got - your hook.

Friends with benefits is such a cliché. Jason and Christie refuse to be one. So are they already sleeping together? Or do they start the story as just friends? Christina’s big dream is to be an interior designer. When she got be careful wtih your tenses, this is past tense. Some of your tenses throughout are present, and some are past. I would keep everything in present a proposition to work as such in New York City, she didn’t hesitate and left Bulgaria. Jason is a cook at heart, but in reality he is a millionaire’s son set to inherit his father’s company. They have nothing in common, until now. If they have nothing in common, why are they friends in the first place? Christie and Jason got cheated on on awkward phrasing the same day and spent the night together.

Christie doesn’t plan to meet Meet? Like ever cross paths again, or she doesn't want this to turn into a romantic relationship? You start the query by inferring that they are friends, then claim they have nothing in common, and now seem to be saying they're never going to see each other again at all, which doesn't track if they are friends him again, but fate has other plans for her. When she shows up to meet her new client at his penthouse overlooking Central Park, she is surprised to find out that he is Jason. Although, he is a little mad at her for leaving without saying goodbye, he tries to impress her with his strongest asset – his cooking skills. It turns out that the way to Christie’s heart is paved with delicious Bulgarian dishes cooked by an incredibly sexy American He's an American, but they met in Bulgaria? Confused. chef. While they try to navigate their relationship, Christie’s ex boyfriends’ sister comes to live with her for the summer. Um... why? What could go wrong?

Coming up with stories was my favorite game when I was little. My grandmother used to type them on her old typewriter. My passion for writing took me to the University where I studied Linguistics with IT, learning the magic of translation. I have completed an internship at Future House Publishing, specializing in acquisitions. Today, I am a freelance writer, book blogger and beta reader. I have a little happy place on Instagram called the_librarians_granddaughter (fun fact: my grandfather was indeed a librarian), where I share my love for books. Unless that Instgram account has a lot of followers (20k+) I wouldn't bother mentioninig it. It's also not terribly relevant if your grandmother was a librarian, or that you were led into your love of reading by her. Don't get me wrong, it's really cool, but it doesn't have anything to do with the story that you've written, and therefore is irrelevant in the bio. Keep your bio to your publishing credentials.

There are a lot of things I'm confused about here. Are they friends first, or not? Why was he in Bulgaria in the first place? Why wouldn't she want to be in a relationship with him? Was this work before pleasure, or just, I don't want to be a cliche? It doesn't sound like anything at all is standing in the way of their relationship once they reconnect in America. The ex bf's sister coming to live with her is just weird. I need a very real, very plausible reason why that would be happening, but there also needs to be a reason why that would interfere with her current relationship.