The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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What starts as a regular, annual, delete "annual" family vacation to Grover Canyon State Park in Grover,delete "Grover," Colorado quickly turns into sheer horror for twelve-year-old Sandy and her younger brother Pete. Bored with the typical red rock and pine tree fare, they go off exploring while their parents unpack at the cabin and discover an off-the-beaten-path canyon nearby. the way this is written it sounds like the parents discover the canyon. You don't need to specify what the parents are doing, necessarily. We understand that they'll need to be separated in order for there to be a plot.

Turns out, though, delete "though" a pharmaceutical testing laboratory’s just go with "is hidden" hidden underneath the bottom of the canyon, and Sandy and Pete accidentally gain access to it. They explore its twisted maze of pitch-dark rooms and hallways filled with way too many horribly mutilated corpses to count.I'd just stick with "filled with mutiliated corpses" because "way too many to count" raises the question of how high they can count. Also, assuming this is MG, "horribly mutilated corpses" might be a bit much. Perhaps "failed experiments?" Freaked out, they flee the lab—only to discover the whole park’s been cordoned off and no one’s allowed to leave. Not only that, government helicopters are razing the place, shooting and toasting any living thing on sight. Really? Just mowing down regular tourists? Why? Wondering if their intrusion of the lab is to blame for the sudden, intense onslaught, Sandy and Pete must find a way to reconvene with their parents and escape Grover Canyon State Park alive.

THE HORROR AT GROVER CANYON STATE PARK is a 29,000-word middle-grade horror. My debut young adult dystopian novel, THE FOURTH GENERATION, was released by Clean Reads in August 2015. Clean Reads also published my middle-grade science fiction novel, PICKET TOWN, in April 2018. I have a degree in Creative Writing from Fairleigh Dickinson University and won the individual award for Outstanding Achievement in Creative Writing. I also obtained an MFA in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University in 2013. I interned at Kensington Publishing Corp. in New York City in the Publicity and Marketing departments.

Absolutely awesome bio. I guess my biggest hang up here is - what's the goal? Just escape? They're not trying to expose the lab or share the truth with the world? And the government is really just mowing down everybody who happened to be at the park? Why? Are they worried about a contagion spread or is this just a "keep it secret, keep it safe" move? I feel like we need to know more about the larger arc in this query.

Also, right now the only horror at work here seems to be human in nature. Has something escaped the lab? Is that tied to the all-on assault? Clarify what the dangers and goals are in order for this to come together more tightly.

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The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman

Four septuagenarians with a few tricks up their sleeves
A female cop with her first big case
A brutal murder
Welcome to…
THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB

In a peaceful retirement village, four unlikely friends meet weekly in the Jigsaw Room to discuss unsolved crimes; together they call themselves The Thursday Murder Club. Elizabeth, Joyce, Ibrahim and Ron might be pushing eighty but they still have a few tricks up their sleeves.

When a local developer is found dead with a mysterious photograph left next to the body, the Thursday Murder Club suddenly find themselves in the middle of their first live case. As the bodies begin to pile up, can our unorthodox but brilliant gang catch the killer, before it’s too late?

Darling Rose Gold by Stephanie Wrobel

For the first eighteen years of her life, Rose Gold Watts believed she was seriously ill. She was allergic to everything, used a wheelchair and practically lived at the hospital. Neighbors did all they could, holding fundraisers and offering shoulders to cry on, but no matter how many doctors, tests, or surgeries, no one could figure out what was wrong with Rose Gold.

Turns out her mom, Patty Watts, was just a really good liar.

After serving five years in prison, Patty gets out with nowhere to go and begs her daughter to take her in. The entire community is shocked when Rose Gold says yes.

Patty insists all she wants is to reconcile their differences. She says she's forgiven Rose Gold for turning her in and testifying against her. But Rose Gold knows her mother. Patty Watts always settles a score.

Unfortunately for Patty, Rose Gold is no longer her weak little darling...

And she's waited such a long time for her mother to come home.

Saint X by Alexis Schaitkin

Claire is only seven years old when her college-age sister, Alison, disappears on the last night of their family vacation at a resort on the Caribbean island of Saint X. Several days later, Alison’s body is found in a remote spot on a nearby cay, and two local men–employees at the resort–are arrested. But the evidence is slim, the timeline against it, and the men are soon released. The story turns into national tabloid news, a lurid mystery that will go unsolved. For Claire and her parents, there is only the return home to broken lives.

Years later, Claire is living and working in New York City when a brief but fateful encounter brings her together with Clive Richardson, one of the men originally suspected of murdering her sister. It is a moment that sets Claire on an obsessive pursuit of the truth–not only to find out what happened the night of Alison’s death but also to answer the elusive question: Who exactly was her sister? At seven, Claire had been barely old enough to know her: a beautiful, changeable, provocative girl of eighteen at a turbulent moment of identity formation.

As Claire doggedly shadows Clive, hoping to gain his trust, waiting for the slip that will reveal the truth, an unlikely attachment develops between them, two people whose lives were forever marked by the same tragedy.

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How to Make Your Writing More Multigenerational

by Beau Peters

At times, there are clear age-related delineations in writing. Young Adult Fiction, for instance, literally has the intended audience right in the genre title. No matter what audience you start with, sooner or later, you’re likely to aspire to superseding these boundaries and rising to a level of composition that appeals to all generations. 

If you’ve found yourself struggling with writing to a multi-generational audience, here are a few suggestions for different ways to make your writing more appealing to different ages at the same time.

Tell the Story from Different Character’s Perspectives

One of the simplest ways to appeal to different generations within your writing style is by creating multiple characters who approach your story from different perspectives. Now, that’s not to say that you should develop characters purely with the mind of appealing to a larger audience. This can quickly lead to common character-development pitfalls such as creating 2-dimensional characters without any purpose in your larger story. 

Instead, as you write, look for natural characters who emerge from the subtext of your story. When these come from different age groups, it can present a natural opportunity to present a piece of the story from their unique perspective. Robert Jordan has done this remarkably well with his “The Wheel of Time” novels by sharing the story through multiple characters who were deeply involved, yet varied in age and gender.

Having multi-generational characters in your story is an excellent way to provide connecting points for various readers to experience the narrative vicariously through a persona that they can relate to.

Appeal to Universal Truths and Experiences

Different ages typically have varying things that they prioritize and focus on. Nevertheless, there are many truths that, while presented in different formats, contexts, and experiences, can still be appealed to in a universal manner. For example, a few of these more comprehensive aspects that can make your writing more multi-generational include:

●      Fleshing out characters with depth and relatability regardless of the specifics.

●      Staying family-friendly in your writing style unless the situation clearly calls for an adult- or child-focused angle.

●      Avoiding open and shameless pandering or favoritism — such as espousing a current political platform — when it clouds or confuses the story being told.

●      Generally writing to help the reader genuinely suspend their disbelief.

Develop Your Emotional and Cultural Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a powerful writing tool. The ability to be aware of, control, and express your emotions — not to mention empathize with others — as you write can imbue your manuscripts with realism and relatability, regardless of age.

Now, it’s important to understand that emotional intelligence doesn’t appear with the flip of a switch. It takes time to develop. However, if you have the patience to do so, you’ll be able to gain a better sense of awareness both for yourself and those around you.

Additionally, cultural intelligence equips you with the ability to relate to and communicate with a culturally diverse audience. This is critical if you’re hoping to appeal to a larger, multi-generational crowd.

If you can tap into and develop empathetic and cultural intelligence as you write, it can quickly turn a plot-driven narrative into a deeply emotional, relatable experience that transcends age and generation.

Hob Nob with Different Generations

One of the best ways to relate to various age levels better is to spend time with them. Simply taking the time to talk to different age demographics — especially within your existing readership, if you already have a following — is an amazing way to gain a broader perspective.

As you dig into the treasure trove of different thoughts and opinions, you’ll likely begin to find commonalities between different age groups that can be woven into your writing. Things like cultural, geographic, or faith-based similarities will stand out and can become more intimately important to your story.

A quick aside: as you gather these gold nuggets of information, make sure to be ready to collect them into an organizational space. List them out on paper, create an idea board online, or cobble together a mind map to help you sort through and categorize all of the facts and opinions.

Developing Your Writing For a Larger Audience

Whether you’re cultivating deep characters, appealing to universal truths, tapping into emotional and cultural intelligence, or having face-to-face discussions, there are plenty of ways to develop a multi-generational style of writing. 

This approach can be applied to more than simply age. Differences in culture, demographics, gender, and life experience, in general, can be overcome as well. Interacting with your target audience and working to expand your knowledge of their thoughts and desires can help to expand your writing style and make it relatable to more readers.

At the end of the day, whether you’re trying to bridge an age gap or any other differential amongst your readers, the crucial part of the process begins when you, the author, take it upon yourself to speak to your readers in their native tongue. When you can learn to use words and phrases that communicate to different groups at the same time, you will truly be able to set your sites on an audience as large as humankind itself.