The Saturday Slash

Don't be afraid to ask for help with the most critical first step of your writing journey - the query.

I’ve been blogging since 2011 and have critiqued over 200 queries here on the blog using my Hatchet of Death. This is how I edit myself, it is how I edit others. If you think you want to play with me and my hatchet, shoot me an email.

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If you’re ready to take the next step, I also offer editing services.

My thoughts are in blue, words to delete are in red, suggested rephrasing is in orange.

A new Bringer and her Unburdened must break all the rules to save the kings of two dimensions and stop a generations-old curse. Typically you want a hook to grab your reader - any reader. The agent reading this doesn't know what a Bringer or an Unburdened is, so this really doesn't mean anything to them. It only means something to a person who is already acquianted with the world.

Princess Bria and Tievel are the dream team. She’s the Bringer, the one who ushers human souls to her realm of Vernichtung; same situation, we don't know what Vernichtung is, so that doesn't mean anything to us he’s the Unburdened, the one who creates the portal to the human dimension and ensures that everything goes off without a hitch.You're doing a good job of getting the explanation of what they do in here, but it needs to be more succint and the query should have swung over to plot by this point Bria’s down-to-earth but naïve nature pairs perfectly with the humorous and charismatic Tievel. They take to Bringing souls and signing off on Death certificates like wine pairs with cheese (or more wine).Nice quick character sketches, and a flash of humor - shows the (I assume) voice the book

Yet not everything is right in Vernichtung. A Bringer dies prematurely, something completely unheard of in their land. Bria is suspicious something is amiss, but when her father falls ill with similar symptoms, she has a sense of déjà vu. She’s read these exact events in one of her human fantasy books. But what she thought to be fantasy might hold more weight than she ever could have imagined. This might be a little in the weeds, for a query, plot wise. You could cut this and the next para is still doing the work of getting the plot across.

They learn the royal family of Vernichtung has been cursed, linking them to the fate of those in the human world. The royal family? Like the real, contemproary one? It’s up to Bria and Tievel to break it. Why? With her father's life on the line, she and Tievel will break all the rules: meet with a secret society, infiltrate a royal court in another dimension, and befriend a member of the usually unseen Green Guard. This is a new term. I don't know who they are or what this means, or why it's wrong. They quickly make allies wherever they go, but not everyone is what they seem. When people’s true colors begin to show, Bria and Tievel must do what they have to in order to save Bria’s father, punish the wicked, and maintain the balance. We need more info than "doing what they have to do. I can see what's at stake, but what are the obstacles, a little more specifically? Who are the bad guys?

I saw you represented [book]and hope you will find interest in my YA fantasy novel THE UNBURDENED complete at 72,000 words. It is a standalone novel with series potential.It blends the vibes and archetypes of Jennifer Armentrout’s The Harbinger series with a little playfulness similar to F.C. Yee’s The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series. Nice, good stats info and comp title para.

In my alternate life, I work as a systems analyst.

Likes: reading, the beach, curling up for a movie or video game marathon with my husband and 3 dogs, general silliness. Dislikes: People who take themselves too seriously, writing the dreaded book synopsis (but I have one if you want it).Lol - okay. I don't know that writing a bio like a dating profile is a good idea, but the last line is pretty damn funny.

Looking for the Tievel to my Bria. Thank you for your consideration.Once again, this is still a reference that means more to you than to them, so I'd cut.

Overall, not in bad shape. You need a better hook that isn't relying on familiarity with the content in order to pack a punch. The worldbuilding needs a few more details for clarity, while pulling back a little bit on that to make more room for plot. Also, if there is a romance between the two MC's, that should be mentioned.

Joan F. Smith on The Ins and Outs of Writing and Publishing "The Other Side of Infinity"

I'm lucky (or cunning) enough to have lured yet another successful writer over to my blog for an SAT - Successful Author Talk. SAT authors have conquered the query, slain the synopsis and attained the pinnacle of published. How'd they do it? Let's ask 'em!

Today’s guest for the SAT is Joan F. Smith, author of The Other Side of Infinity which releases today!

Are you a Planner or Pantster?

One million percent a planner, but with permission to deviate from the plan if a better choice arises. (If it’s part of the plan to go with the flow, then you’re still a planner, no?)

How long does it typically take you to write a novel, start to finish?

It varies. The Other Side of Infinity was my shortest “done” book. I had a weird “lightning strike” moment for it, and then it took me three months to draft it, and two more to revise it to a first real draft. My planning stage lasts a few weeks to a month. I usually write a book with a fairly clean first draft in a four to five month timeframe. About two-thirds of the way through drafting, I usually re-plot something for another week. I then let it sit for a solid length of time, revisit it myself, and attack it with a revision action plan. After whatever that time asks for—could be a month, could be three—I send to my critique partners, revise again, and then kick it to my agent. TL/DR: So far, the books I’ve written have taken five months to two years for a finished manuscript in a pre-submission format. 

Do you work on one project at a time, or are you a multi tasker?

Multi-tasker, especially when you incorporate the business side of authorship. Currently embarking on promotion for my upcoming book The Other Side of Infinity, going out on sub with my first adult manuscript, and drafting my second. The audiobook for my debut The Half-Orphan’s Handbook actually just released a few months ago, so there was a moment in time where I was also pushing that one. 

Did you have to overcome any fears that first time you sat down to write?

I’ve been writing since before I can remember! I think I probably experienced the opposite effect of brazen over-confidence, which has now thankfully been taken down.  

How many trunked books (if any) did you have before you were agented?

Technically, zero, which I’m grateful for. My debut was the first book I ever finished writing. I did have a few false starts, though—I think I wrote maybe half of maybe 2 books prior to actually buckling down and finishing that first one. 

Have you ever quit on an ms, and how did you know it was time?

Yes! I am a person who is okay with quitting something that doesn’t feel right. Writing can be a chore once in a while, but if you’re full of dread every time you approach a project, I think it’s fair to say it can be set aside. I have also returned to books I’ve set aside before—there’s a solid chance I’ll be doing that this summer, actually. 

Who is your agent and how did you get that "Yes!" out of them? 

My agent is Kerry D’Agostino from Curtis Brown, LTD. She was a traditional query. She had requested the full manuscript and then our timeline sped up because I nudged her again a few days later once I received offers from two other agents via PitMad.

How many queries did you send? 

I sent a few less than 30 queries over a few months. 

Any advice to aspiring writers out there on conquering query hell?

First: Give yourself some time between finishing the work to craft your query. Once you’re distant enough, read your manuscript start to finish one last time before you decide you’re ready to query. Then adjust the query if needed (I find it almost always is). I think if you do your research and send your query whenever it’s ready, so long as the agents are open, then you’re already ahead of the game. Patience is paramount (though incredibly difficult for me). I also don’t generally think it’s realistic for authors to expect feedback from agents—it takes a very long time to read a whole book and compose a reply, so if an agent is compelled to give you some, then I’d sit up and take note of it. 

How did it feel the first time you saw your book for sale?

Absolutely incredible. On release day, I went to Barnes & Noble to sign their local stock. It was the first time I had been in-person in a bookstore since the previous summer (thanks to the pandemic). One day later, I went to the Brookline Booksmith and they had a stack of preordered copies for me to sign. It was surreal. I personalized books to those who requested it, including to other authors' names (who I never expected to order), and truly couldn't believe it. 

How much input do you have on cover art?

My editors have always been very gracious in consulting with me on what I like, along with the artist selection and concepts. I’ve given small bits of feedback but I’ve been happy with the process so far!

What's something you learned from the process that surprised you?

So much (too much?) of writing has absolutely nothing to do with writing.

How much of your own marketing do you?  Do you have a blog / site / Twitter?

I have an online presence of sorts, and I think of myself as a partner of marketing and PR with the magic they spin. 

Website / Twitter / Instagram / TikTok / Facebook

When do you build your platform? After an agent? Or should you be working before?

You can only control your own actions. You can’t control when an agent decides to sign with you. Some of the most talented writers I’ve ever read have had a huge run of difficulty finding agents. I’d work to build a platform if you think you have something you’d like to share, and only so long as you enjoy the process. You also don’t magically become successful at any step of the way—I think it’s a cumulative effect for most people. Overnight successes aren’t newborns; they have a ton of nights behind them, too. 

Do you think social media helps build your readership?

I hesitate to say unequivocally yes, but I do think it helps, and I think it depends. Even readers who are guaranteed to buy your book are probably thankful for a quick social media link—I know that these days, I am more likely to buy something if I see it as opposed to seeking it out in a store. I think I’m in the “can’t hurt” camp on this one, and probably helps at least a little!

Joan F. Smith is a novelist, essayist, and dance instructor from Massachusetts. Her writing uses humor to explore the themes of unanswerable questions and the intersection between truth and lies. Joan does her best writing on airplanes, and her worst with no caffeine. She studied creative writing and social science at Providence College and received her MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College. When she isn’t writing, Joan teaches dance, travels, exercises, mentors writers, and wrangles her kids. She is the author of the young adult novel The Half-Orphan’s Handbook (Imprint/Macmillan 2021) and the The Other Side of Infinity (Feiwel & Friends/Macmillan April 2023). She was the 2021 Writer-in-Residence at the Milton Public Library. Her writing has appeared in various publications such as The Washington Post and The Mary Sue. She lives in the Boston area with her husband and kids, where her daily requirement as a parent includes dance parties in the kitchen. You can find more about her at joanfsmithbooks.com, and follow her on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest @jf_smit.