Chelsea Bobulski on Implementing Indie Strategies in Traditional Publishing

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy: We're here with Chelsea Bobulski who is the author of the All I Want for Christmas series, which is upcoming for this holiday season. And one of the reasons I wanted to have Chelsea on is because Chelsea has moved from the very traditional mainline experience of publishing, where you have a book coming out every year and there's a lot of downtime, to a very new experience where she is writing and releasing this christmas holiday themed romance series for books every three weeks from the end of October leading up to the holiday. So that's a really interesting experience and very different from other guests that we've had on. So Chelsea is here to tell us a little bit about that experience. 

Chelsea: Yes, I'm very excited to talk about it because it has been a totally different experience from what I've done before, but it's been very exciting. 

Mindy: Absolutely. I can't even imagine. My episode that came out on October fourth was actually with my own editor, Ben Rosenthal. And one of the things I asked him to talk about is why does it take so long in traditional publishing for a book to go from a contract to a physical object that you can buy on the shelf? Because a lot of people ask me about that. You have had an experience where it doesn't necessarily have to, but you're taking all of that work and you're condensing it down into a very tight timeline. 

Chelsea: Yes. Absolutely, yeah, I was very blessed getting a book deal with Wise Wolf Books, they're a new imprint, but with an already established company, Wolfpack Publishing has been around for quite some time and has been very successful with this model. And basically what they do is they act like a traditional publishing company in terms of how they support the author. But they take a lot of the things that indie authors have been doing so successfully in order to push out books quickly, knowing that readers who fall in love with the series want to be able to binge the series. 

And so they've taken a lot of those tactics and implemented them into a more traditional publishing sphere and their whole goal is to be able to quickly publish these books in a series without sacrificing quality, just as indie authors have been doing for quite some time. So it's a little bit of an experiment in a way in the sense that at least for me, because I've never done it this way, as I said Wise Wolf books as part of a larger publishing umbrella that has been doing it for a while and doing it very successfully. 

But for me this is a whole new experience because as you said, I've done two books traditionally The Wood and Remember Me, we're both with Fiewel and Friends, Macmillan. And so this is a whole new experience to basically write three books in a year because the first book which is entitled All I Want for Christmas is The Girl Next Door, I had completed. And we were sending out two different editors and then we actually ended up getting two offers of publication for that book. And we went with Wise Wolf because I was just so excited by the prospect of being able to put out the books quickly. And so that was in August 2020 that we got the book deal and said that between August 2020 and now, basically I've written the other three books over the course of a year. And so it's been a very fast process. But it's also just been very exciting and I can't wait to get the books out into readers’ hands. 

Mindy: I can't imagine the writing pace. I can write a book very quickly. And if I were only relying on traditional publishing and one book a year as my income, probably wouldn't be survivable. As you know, I've got my fingers in all kinds of different things. I do co-authoring and I do a lot of editorial work on the side. I have a blog and the podcast. And all of these things bring in money so that I'm generally working all of the time. But people ask me often, you know, what do you do all day? And most of the time the answer is I answer emails. That's a lot of what I do all day. There's not a ton of actual writing time. Actually cranking out for books that quickly, I can't imagine how much your actual writing schedule changed. 

Chelsea: It actually changed quite a bit also because I am a parent of two young children. And so that also factors into how much writing time that I have. My mother in law was kind enough to be able to come and help. Typically she'd come for three days a week. And so for those three days I would just focus on writing and of course as we've gotten closer to the release dates, I've had to kind of balance the writing with some more marketing things and emails as you were saying. But for the most part I just wrote for as long as I could as much as I could each of those days. I just think it was by the grace of God that any of it got done though. 

Especially because there were six weeks total spread out throughout the year where she couldn't come at all due to Covid related issues. My husband had Covid in November. We all came through fine. There's another time where we had been exposed to it and didn't get it, but we didn't want her to come up, just in case. And then she got sick. And so that has definitely made it more difficult because that mixed in with maybe other life things going on where maybe she couldn't come visit for that week. So even though it was a year of writing, it was actually three days a week and it wasn't always consistently happening. And so, like I said, it was not by my power that these books got done, that's for sure. 

Mindy: I understand. People that are outside of the experience have a concept of a writer, really just like sitting down and grinding things out and taking huge chunks of time. And I know that my own experience is that if I've got 15 minutes here or I have to go to the doctor's office, I'm going to take my laptop with me and use it in the waiting room. The lady that cuts my hair, I had to go to a new place because my old one got shut down during Covid and just met this really nice older lady who was going to be cutting my hair from now on. And she has a very Old fashioned approach to what she does, she talks to her customers. And I would be sitting there with my laptop and she's like, Oh, I'm sorry, you actually need to work. And I'm like, yes, I have to work, and I'm sorry. It's not that I don't like you or anything like that. I have to work.I can't sit here for 40 minutes while this dye rests on my head. 

And it's so sweet though, because it's like, she's totally cool with me sitting there and working, while she cuts my hair, but also she clucks her tongue at me and she's like, you work too hard, you're working too hard and you do too much. And she always feeds me, it never fails that while I'm there, she's like, here's a piece of pizza. She wants to hen cluck over me. And so when I know that I'm going to get my haircut, I like have to factor that into my eating for the day because I know that she's gonna make me eat. 

Chelsea: That's amazing. Well, and I don't know about you, but for me drafting is when I really can't be interrupted like, I can do revisions and be interrupted because you can kind of come in and out a little bit more like solving a puzzle, you know, and obviously like the email stuff, I can do that and be interrupted. But when I'm drafting I know that I need a solid chunk of time to get into it and then to even to come out of it, especially writing this many books so close together, there were times where I felt like I was almost world hopping. Like this other world was a real place. All four books take place in the same small town, a fictional town that I named, Christmas, Virginia. I was living in this world and I would have to almost shake it off to get back into the real world. It was very disorienting sometimes. 

Mindy: I go pretty deep when I'm drafting mentally, but I've come to a point in my life and now with travel picking back up, I have to find those skills again. I have to be able to work at an airport, I have to be able to work on an airplane. I talked about this on the podcast before I think, but you know, people have certain triggers that they use to help them tell their brain it's time to write. Some people, you know, they have a space that they go to an office or a candle that they burn or a specific type of music. Something that's the trigger that tells their brain they have to work. 

I use a white noise app on my phone, it's perfect because it's portable, I can use it anywhere. I plug in my earphones and I can be on a plane, I can be in an airport and it's a constant noise that never breaks. So with music there will be a slower song or a moment or a rest or pauses in between the songs and that noise comes in from around you and it can penetrate this bubble that you've built inside of the snow globe. But with that white noise, it is a constant noise. There's no sensation and it drowns out everything.

I use it at home. Like even when I am alone at home in my room, I turn on the white noise when I'm writing and that's how my brain knows that it's time to work. And I got to the point where it's like even if I don't have my headphones in, I have my app out and I just have my phone making the noise in public and it also works to keep people away from you. I'll say that as well if you don't have your headphones, if you just turn that on, people don't want to hear it and they move away from you. 

Chelsea: I never even thought of that. That is a good idea. 

Mindy: Now you've got this push since these books are done and there are four of them - of promotion. And because most of the time as a traditionally published author, you're only hitting your audience once. So how are you going to approach promotion with your audience when you're saying, hey, I've got a new book out -- every three weeks? 

Chelsea: I'm trying to learn a bit from, as I said, like, indie authors have been doing this so well for so long. And I think part of the benefit to it is the fact that because you constantly have something new to talk about, right? It's a new book that I think helps promotion in and of itself, because I think that raises excitement a little bit. You enjoyed book one? Well, look, book two is already coming out! And so they don't have to wait, because I think a lot of times that will slow down the momentum of promotion is the fact that people say, oh, I loved this book. When is the second one coming out? And you have to say, oh, a year from now and between then and the next publication date, you hope that they don't forget you. You hope that they enjoyed the book enough that they'll remember. 

But people also get on with their lives and they might totally forget that, Oh yeah, that was supposed to come out a year ago now, I guess I should go pick that up. So, I think that helps a lot. But mostly I'm just trying to focus on what I can do because my time is limited for promotion. So I'm using Instagram a lot just because I'm most comfortable with Instagram, but I also have an amazing Facebook street team that I've been cultivating. They've been helping me get the word out as well. Today I actually posted about the preorder swag. I have a really awesome scene card that was done by an artist named Madison Brown. She does a really fantastic job. And so each book is going to have a little scene card that you'll get as part of your swag in the mail. If I run out of supplies, it'll be digital. Just looking for things like that that I can do to keep people interested and realize that these books are coming out so quickly and leading up to Christmas is very exciting because you know, it just helps people get in that holiday mood. 

Mindy: And we're really looking for that, especially right now.

Chelsea: I really, that was the thing I appreciated most about getting to work on these from through the end of 2020 and into 2021 is I just wanted to lose myself in a Christmas-y word. And I purposely did not include any Covid type things. Like I think it's great that some people are talking about masks and stuff in their books, but I was just like, I just want to live in a world for a bit where this was never a thing. And so that's what I really focused on and one of the things that I really love about the series is that each book is centered on a different couple, like all the couples are friends, so you'll see how the couple from book one is doing in books 2,3 and four, like as you go on. So if you really love certain characters, their story doesn't end with that book, like you'll get to see kind of what they're doing in the next book. So that was really fun to do as well.

Mindy: Something on your side too, and I actually had a conversation yesterday, I was talking with Mary Kole who runs the Good Story company, she also used to be an agent. She was talking with me about how a lot of people are looking for these lighter reads and they are looking for hope and people are kind of pulling away from darker material and they're looking for something to escape the actual world that feels pretty dark and hopeless sometimes lately. You think that that type of approach, having this content - because from what you used to write, your traditional release books were horror. 

Chelsea: Yes, I definitely feel like I have two different sides to me. I have the horror side and I like the christmas romance side and so I'm excited to get to show both now. I mean I think that hope is something that people are always looking for but obviously in the middle of pandemic, it's just even more so. And so each of the books definitely has a lighter feel, they do deal with some deeper themes, even though it's Christmas, there might be a slightly darker element. There may be a character is wrestling with that they have to figure out by the end of the book, but it is all very light and like cheery and Christmas cookies and snowflakes and I just wanted readers to feel like they want to just curl up with these books next to a roaring fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa or a hot cup of tea and just indulge and relax. 

Book one, All I Want for Christmas is The Girl Next Door, it definitely has all of those hope filled messages. Because it's about a boy, Graham Wallace, he has been in love with the girl next door for basically a decade now, ever since she moved in, but she's been dating his best friend, Jeremy for the past two years. And when they first started dating, you know, as is typical in high school, you're kind of like, it's fine, it's only going to last like two weeks and then I'll help her grieve that relationship and then I'll slide in and I'll be the boyfriend, you know. That's kind of how he was thinking about this relationship, but now they've been together for two years and he's just heartbroken and he's been trying his best to deal with it. And then in just a moment of heartbreak and weakness, he looks up in the sky and sees a shooting star and he thinks to himself, “all I want for Christmas is Sarah Clark.” 

And so he wakes up the next day and the whole world has changed that he's the one who's been dating her for two years and not his friend Jeremy. But he starts to realize he and Sarah are maybe not as great together as he thought that they would be as he had imagined in his mind. And not only that, but it's also affected more than just him, It's affected Sarah, it's affected Jeremy, they're living completely different lives now with different goals and it's not necessarily a good thing. And not only that, but Graham is starting to fall for the new girl in town and he's thinking to himself, why am I falling for this new girl? If this wish came true, like I must be destined to be with Sarah, why am I feeling this for the new girl if this wish came true? 

And so it really focuses on the idea of what we think we want isn't what's always right for us. And so it's really his journey into figuring out what that looks like. And so I loved it and I love setting it at Christmas time because I think that Christmas is just the perfect time for hope and renewal and learning really special lessons that you can carry on into the rest of your life, which I'm hoping Graham does.

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Mindy: Now it's interesting to me, like we were saying your first two books being the traditionally published ones that were more horror based. I hear you like so loud because obviously what I write under my real name is very dark, serious stuff and when people meet me in real life, they're like, you're funny. So, I also do write under a pen name and I write with friends of mine and we co author books and they're just ridiculously silly and funny, quite frivolous It’s wonderful for me because that's my outlet, but I do it under a pen name because the branding would be so screwed if I did them under my real name. So I write those under a pen name, so I have an outlet for both. Now there's pros and cons to that, I can't market the stuff under my pen name using my real name and the social media platforms and the mailing list and all the stuff that I've built over like 10 years. Also, I don't know if that audience crosses over. I don't know that my readers that love my books would want to read the things I write underneath my pen name because they are so wildly divergent. How are you approaching that in terms of marketing? Your audience and your readers, they know you as a horror writer and now you're writing like this really fun, really sweet romance series. 

Chelsea: I think that obviously there will be some readers who will not be interested in crossing over only because they are horror readers. They really have no interest in a light romance. And I totally get that, like we all have our books that we love and that we connect with and I don't really have time for another genre because it's just not where our heart is. But I do think that there are readers who will cross over. Even though they're different genres, a lot of the themes are similar, like my horror novels tend to be more atmospheric, creepy and chilling, not so much a jump out and scare you. Although I will say Remember Me, I've had several readers email me and say, you know, I can't take a shower anymore because of the shower thing that happens in there. You know, these are the creepy things that happen. The themes itself, um themes of redemption or themes of romance, things like that I think do cross over in that sense. I think people who enjoyed The Wood and Remember Me would really enjoy this Christmas series, so it's lighter, but it's very similar in different ways. 

Mindy: One of the things that you're talking about is probably your voice and your writing approach in terms of the whole spirit of the voice of the book is probably still similar even though you're changing genres, I obviously write across all different kinds of genres. I write historical, I've written fantasy. A lot of thriller, suspense, psychological dystopian, but that voice is still the same. It's still a Mindy McGinnis book. And while my readers don't always follow me, like my fantasy for example, like most of my readers could care less about it. Fantasy is a niche that you either read or you don't, but you can still read it and be like, oh I can tell that Mindy McGinnis wrote this, and I imagine it's similar with yours. 

Chelsea: Absolutely. And the second book which is entitled All I Want for Christmas is the Girl in Charge, one of the main characters in that one is a former child prodigy, a violinist and he's a current juvenile delinquent and he has this darker past that he's working through. And so that's an example of some of those darker elements coming in. And then also the book four All I Want for Christmas is the Girl Who Can't Love, my heroine, Savannah is dealing with a difficult relationship with her mother as well as this supposed family curse that makes it so that if they fall in love with anybody, like it's just not going to work out, it's doomed to fail. And so she's just decided that love as a concept isn't a real thing. Like she just focuses on the biology behind and the Chemistry behind it. This is what's happening in your brain when you fall in love and because I can name it, I can also choose not to partake in it. And so she has a little bit of a darker arc as well, even though it's a lighter Christmas read. 

Probably out of the four books, my third book, All I Want for Christmas is the Boy I Can't Have is probably the lightest because the hero and the heroine developed this connection over a shared love of romantic comedies. And so that one definitely is like the lightest one. But even there, the hero, August, is dealing with the fact that his father has these really crippling expectations on what he wants his son to do with his life and it doesn't line up with what August actually wants to do. And so they're lighter books, but they definitely have those darker themes of trying to fight for what you want, or fight through maybe some past traumas and things.

Mindy: Talking about writing and having to generate these books in general. You said, you have edits due for the very last one coming up here this weekend? Now you're edging really close into turning in book four and then promoting book one. So are you going to deal with A flurry of three months worth of promo? 

Chelsea: Like I said, I mean just knowing the season of life I'm in, I'm not in a time where I used to be like when I had no kids, I had all the time in the world really to devote to that sort of thing. Or if my kids were in full time school, which they're not, you know, they're not old enough for that yet, then maybe I'd have a little more time to focus on this thing. So right now I'm really trying to take an approach of - just do what you can, just getting the word out. And also these preorder swag campaigns, that's probably gonna be honestly the biggest undertaking, depending on how many preorders I get in. It’s having to do all the mailing and everything for that. And then just reaching out to people who have been such support systems for me from the beginning. Other authors who are so generous to promote the book as well on their platforms and things and just try not to freak out about what I can't control. 

Mindy: Well that's key to publishing in general because you can't control much. I actually just got all my royalty statements yesterday. For those of you that don't know, when you get your royalty statement, it's already six months behind in traditional publishing. It lets me know how many books have sold and how much I've earned and earned out. So the one I just got is through June of this year. So I ended up looking at my royalty statements last night, it is hard to have any idea what you have done that actually mattered or had any impact because this is just an amalgamation of numbers covering six months worth of sales. So as a traditional author you can't see - I paid for this ad in Facebook, I paid for this Book Bub. I did this or I did this author visit or I did a whole bunch of swag mailing. You're sending up little lanterns and hoping that they are shedding light somewhere and had some impact. But you really don't know.

I’m operating with a foot in both worlds. Under my indie name, there's so much more power because you know - this week I've got this promo running and you can follow your numbers by the hour and you can see the impact. I wouldn't give up either one of them. I love both of them for different reasons. I'm sure you remember I used to like really freaking try. When Not A Drop to Drink came out, one of my swag - which was clever - but one of my swag items was a bottle of water. I made stickers that wrapped around the label, the company label and it was the cover of my book and a tagline and a QR code that you could scan and it was clever. But at the same time water is freaking heavy. I would have to carry bottles of water around like I couldn't travel with, I couldn't fly with it that doesn't go through security. 

It was an event with ALA and I had bought bottles of water in Chicago and spent time putting stickers on 200 bottles of water and then setting them out on all the tables for when the librarians came in. They were like, oh cool. Yeah, this is clever. I like this And then you know, they drank the water and threw the bottles away. I will never forget walking through that room and seeing the trash cans that were full of my swag. I just kind of stopped doing all of that because I figured out how much effort and work I was putting into something that I couldn't actually track if it was effective. I do think preorder campaigns are worth it from everyone I've talked to that has done it. I don't want to do what you're doing. It's awesome that you do. And I know people that have amazing luck doing that. A lot of people will have those pre-order campaigns. I don't think I have the patience.

Chelsea: One of the things that I was really excited about number one, I'm definitely making sure that the actual physical mailing is like small paper things so that hopefully it doesn't take a whole lot of time to put together and doesn't cost a whole lot to ship. But the other thing I was excited about doing these scene cards and I can't remember if I mentioned this already or not. But the other thing is a digital coloring page of that scene card that you can get just through your email. I really love that we can do things digitally because that also helps. And I loved the idea of that, because I'm thinking about doing something that promotes readers to maybe color the coloring page and then share it online and do some kind of big thing with that. 

And so I think the idea behind preorder swag is if you can find something where it continues to give life to the book so that it gives people a reason to continue posting about the books. Such as I got this awesome coloring page from this book that I love and I'm going to show, you know, it kind of keeps the momentum going and you're not doing more than just emailing this coloring page. So I was kind of looking for things like that. Again, I don't know how successful it will be, but I also, I'm trying to approach it less from an idea of marketing and more of an idea of just wanting to say thank you because again, there's only so much I can control and so it's my way of saying thank you to those who did pre order and I'm trying to keep my focus on healthier things than freaking out about numbers and things like that.

Mindy: You can't get that feedback right away in the traditional world. So like for example, I do get confused about timelines because we operate on all these different timelines in the traditional publishing world. So I got my royalty statement last night about my release, The Initial Insult. So that came out in February of 2021. Right, is that right? I think that's right. So it's October and I'm just now getting some sort of idea of how that book performed. That type of feedback, especially in this world where we just don't know what's going on most of the time, having these numbers eight months after the fact - there's so much not knowing and you kind of have to be like, you were mentioning freaking out over the things you can't control. You can't control most things in publishing. 

And so I have really made a point of, I'm just going to write my book and I'm going to handle the things I can handle. I do bookmarks. I find them to be super easy. People use them, they're light, like you were saying you can mail them. But my biggest thing has always been I do events and I show up and I do school visits and I try to put my physical self in front of people as much as possible because I'm a good speaker. And of course during Covid that was taken away from me.  Go out there, little dark depressing book in the middle of Covid and let's see what you can do out there on your own, right? I can't go with you. There's no touring, I've been doing this a long time now and it's kind of nice to just really hit that plateau. This is what I can do, this is what I can't do. You're going to let go of some things. 

Chelsea: Absolutely. That's the healthy thing to do. We only have so much capacity for stress. Like you don't need to focus it on things that you have no control over anyway when there's plenty of things in your life that you can control and that need more of your attention. And the other thing that I learned from an author friend of mine early on, she got a book deal before I did. And so I was able to kind of learn from her experience. She focused very heavily on promotion and marketing. It was a two book series. So she was just really heavy into making sure that the series got out there as far as it could go and do as well as it could. 

It's not that that wasn't helpful or successful for that series, but once she got to the end of all of it, she realized - I've spent all my time and promotion and I haven't written another book in so long. And so I'm going to have such a huge gap between books coming out. The idea that nothing sells frontlist, like backlist. Like she, she was not building any more books in the front, you know, to continue to support those books that she had already written and so I kind of was able to learn from her experience that yes, promotion is good. But the best thing you can be doing is working on the next book as well. And so just trying to find that balance between the two as opposed to putting too much emphasis on one or the other. 

Mindy: Last thing. Why don't you let listeners know where they can find the book? Because the first one, All I Want for Christmas is The Girl Next Door, is coming out at the end of this month. So why don't you let listeners know where they can find the book and where they can find you online? 

Chelsea: So the book is available for pre order for both e-book and paperback on amazon. But then also if you would like a signed personalized copy, you can get it through Gathering Volumes Bookstore. You can go to their website and request it to be signed and or personalized. I'm happy to do both. And you can also find the links to both of those on my Instagram bio. The link in there and my Instagram is at Chelsea Bolboski C H E L S E A B O B U L S K I. And as I said, I'm mostly on Instagram but I have a website Chelsea Bobulski dot com That is being updated as we speak. I don't update it as much as I should. And then I also have a Facebook author page also under just at Chelsea Bobulski and those are all the places where you can find me. And if you have any questions, you can always message me on Instagram or also through the contact form on my website as well.

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.

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Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy:   We're here with Sarah J Schmitt, author of Where There's A Whisk which is a YA novel about a reality tv show regarding cooking. I think one of the things that people are looking for right now, especially in the wake - well, hopefully in the wake of the pandemic - 's something that I've talked with other guests about, is wanting to find something a little lighter to read something maybe less dark, less heavy. I know that I've seen in talking with agents and editors that they are kind of leaning towards that direction in a lot of cases, not all of course, but trying to find something a little less brooding, which of course has not gone well for me because all of my books tend to be dark and fairly gritty, but I'm curious about how you got the idea for this book and what led you to it. 

Sarah: First of all, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here talking with you. Just to preface my answer, I was having a conversation with a librarian friend of mine just this morning about how many dark books are on for  Indiana, The Eliot Rosewater Book Award. There's nothing really light and escapist from the dark world we're currently living in. I'm really happy that my book can fill a gap in that area. But actually funny enough, this book, the idea of it came from a really sad situation. I was going to a school visit a couple of years ago and when I got there there was just a real weird vibe in the school. The librarian pulled me aside and she said, I just want you to know that today our state papers came out and listed this county as the worst county in the entire state of Indiana to live in. And so I'm like, okay, well I can't do anything about that, but we're going to create stories and we're going to come up with characters and we're gonna have a lot of fun and you know, maybe it'll be a distraction. 

So what I do when I do a school visit is in the morning we create a character and in the afternoon we create a plot. So we started creating these characters, even the protagonist, even the main character is really dark and sad. I'm like, okay, this is gonna be super fun. Get to the afternoon and we start brainstorming the plot and people are throwing ideas like, the main character finds her mom dead from an overdose with a needle still in her arm and all this really traumatic stuff. And I'm like, well there goes the light distraction concept I was going for. And afterwards the librarian told me that, like, some of these students were sharing actual experiences that they've had and they were putting this into the plot and I thought, you know, their lives combined with this public admonishment about where they lived. How do you overcome that? Like, how do you overcome the life you're born into? If it isn't the greatest or it's not what you want? 

And so, I went out into the car afterwards and kind of sat there for a minute just reflecting on that experience because it was really profound for me. I ended up on the way home coming up with Peyton just thinking about this character, but I wanted her experience to be really hopeful and really positive. And I thought you know reality television at the time, there weren't a whole lot of books out that we're dealing with the behind the scenes of reality tv and I thought that would be a fun area to explore for research purposes. I got fixated on the cooking aspect and so I started putting that all together, there was that background for her journey to realize that number one, what she thought was successful isn't necessarily success. And number two, these challenges are not just food challenges, like they're really challenging her to look at herself and bring out her best self regardless of where she came from. She has every right to follow her dream and nobody had any right to tell her she couldn't.

Mindy:   A couple of things that I want to follow up on. First of all school visits, I get so many questions, Facebook author groups, things like that. How do you do this? Like what do you do and how do you do it? I know I specifically am most often speaking to high school students because my books again - content is pretty dark so I usually am speaking with high schoolers, which a lot of times can be one of the hardest groups to deal with. And I know I have friends that are just terrified to do school visits. They are afraid that they're going to be reliving their high school experiences. I of course worked in high school for 14 years. You were also a librarian for a long time. So you're kind of familiar with that arena and walking in and handling that age group, not letting them bully you off the stage or get heckled. 

But also I wanted to touch on what you're saying about environment and essence when you walk in. I have been in high schools where they clearly did not give a shit who I was or why I was there, usually more upper income and their moms and dads make a lot more money than I do. So it's just not that interesting and they're polite but they just don't care. I actually vastly prefer doing lower income schools because those kids are so excited that someone is there, someone cares, someone is talking to them. That's where I come from as well. I'm from a very, very poor rural community and I never met an author until I was one because nobody was going to come and talk to us like it just wasn't in the cards. I'll go anywhere. But I do enjoy going to smaller communities and going to more rural, financially challenged communities. 

But also like you were saying sometimes what is going on in the actual environment can really be a challenge. You're like me - even though my books are very dark - I try to keep it light and fun and interesting and I'm making jokes and it's more stand up than anything else And I walked into a school one day and the librarian that set things up, she's like, I'm really sorry, some of the kids have to leave halfway through your presentation because there's a funeral for a student today. Thanks for telling me. And now I'm going to have to kind of reconfigure how I operate. But if you could just talk a little bit about school visits. How do you handle them? What you do, talking about that feeling that you get, as soon as you walk in the door, you can get a feeling for the culture of a school the second you show up. So if you could talk about that, that would be really helpful for my listeners that are maybe a little scared to try a school visit.

Sarah: First of all, I love school visits and I think my biggest challenge with this pandemic has been not being able to go into schools because in some ways that's where my creative energy gets refilled. Because I realized that even if I don't think I'm making an impact on people in those moments I do. And I know what you mean about walking into that school and you're just like these students don't really care if I'm here or not. Like I absolutely know that my books go into that middle grade range. So I actually do more middle school than I do high school. First of all, they're still smart aleck enough that they'll try to mess with you. 

I've never had anyone kind of try to bully me, but you do have those class clowns thinking that they're going to stump you and my goal is always to find a place for that kid's idea in the story. That's probably the moment where I'm like  - I've done well here  - is when that student then, because you put that smart aleck comment into the story and it works. Then they start to get more excited and buy in and they're contributing more. 

I get that some authors are afraid of school visits. Most of us who wrote probably were traumatized in our school age years in some way or another. There's always going to be that group of students that looks at you like a rock star because they want to be where you are and those are the students that I really, really like talking to those students and not about my book. I want to learn about what they're doing. If you walk into a school visit and you make it as much or more about the students than about yourself, I think that's the key to a successful school visit. Engaging them, bringing them into the process. And a lot of them when I come in, especially in the middle school years, they're having to write stories for their eighth grade english class or something like that and it can be overwhelming. I kind of break down the development of a plot or the development of character  into very simple terms. It's obviously more than just those key moments in the story. You have to fill in the gaps, but it breaks it down so that those gaps are a little bit more manageable in their minds and that's my goal ultimately. 

It's very true what you're saying about that kid that thinks they're going to throw you. A school visit to me, it’s a day of you doing stand up and improv. The first time I did a school visit, I came home and crashed for the next day and a half and my husband was like, what? All you did was go and talk to students. And then he saw a pattern every time I did a school visit, I was wiped out. And I finally explained to him, I'm like, no, it’s like being on stage for eight hours, even during lunch, you're still performing. The nice thing about that is you can put yourself in a different headspace when you're performing versus when you're writing or being yourself at home, like, and there is a persona I think you have to develop a little bit and I've seen you with teens and at conferences and stuff that we've been out at the same place and you do that too. Like you're ready for that challenge. 

Mindy:   Oh, yeah, absolutely. I tell everyone Author Mindy is not Real Mindy, it's a different person, especially with the students. It's fun. I agree. It is exhausting because it is pedal to the metal you're going and it's full send the whole time. One of the keys I think with the kids, like you were saying that one kid that thinks they're going to throw you or they're going to trip you up or whatever. I was in a school for 14 years and I've been substituting ever since I left. You are not going to throw me. We can go. I always have an exchange with these kids and it's always lighthearted. I'm never being mean, always like pulling that kid out a little bit more. It's fun and it's always lighthearted and engaging and usually that rapport, it's like I'm going to get everybody on my side awake and listening because of an exchange with one kid. 

Sarah: Absolutely. 

Mindy:   There's a special recipe for that. I am so grateful for the time that I spent in high schools because it's made me able to do these performances and I am so glad, like you say that it is a persona. It is a different human being than who you are at home or when you're writing. That's so true. It couldn't be more true. I actually had the guy that I was dating at the time, we'd been together for years and he came with me to an event one time and it was just a panel, It wasn't a school visit and it actually rattled him because I was so different. And so when he suddenly had this experience of, oh my God, I don't know who my girlfriend is. It was very upsetting for him. 

Sarah: I’ve told my kids. I'm like, I'll do a volunteer visit at your school because they're both in high school now and they're like, please don't. And part of me is really glad because I don't think they would ever look at me the same. Like I do reference them in some of my school visits, especially when I talk about my journey to publication. And I think that they would not appreciate that at all. 

Mindy:   I’ve been asked to speak to classes and stuff in my own district where I used to work and now where I substitute and I've told them before, it's like, you know, I really can't. I can't show up and be Mindy McGinnis Author because I play fast and loose. I don't have to worry about that because it's like, you know, I don't work for this district. I'm not up there swearing or anything, but I'm being pretty fast and loose with the kids. And it's like when I'm substituting, they have to be listening to me and they have to know that I can get angry and that you will get in trouble and things like that. And it's like Mindy McGinnis the author does not get in trouble. She lets it fly. And so it's like, I can't do that with the kids that I might be in charge of the next day. 

Sarah: Yeah, no. Because when you're doing a school visit, you're not there to police the students like that. If anybody's job, it is, it's whoever brought you in and I always tell - because I never know where a story or plots are going to go. So I always tell the librarians and normally librarians or English teachers who brought me in - If you feel like this is going in a direction you're uncomfortable with, it is your job to step in. I'm not going to stop their creative process. If I'm uncomfortable, which it takes a lot to make me uncomfortable in those situations - then I may like, try to turn it a little bit, but I'm not going to step in and be like, nope, we're not going there. You're the one who gets to be the meanie. I am the one to inspire creativity. 

Mindy:   I’ve done school visits where the person that brought me in or the staff or the principal or whoever goes up ahead of time and they're like Mindy McGinnis is here and this is a big deal and you will listen to her and you will be quiet. Absolutely stomp down on them and then I'm walking in and I'm like, hey kids, you know, let's be silly! And they're just like, we're not allowed. And their little faces are completely shut down. I had that happen at a school visit with 7th graders, which can be the most fun. And it's like I will say things, tell jokes and then the kids because especially that little, the junior high age, they like to then turn to each other and repeat the joke. I don't know why, but that's what they do. They just made the joke again to each other and then they keep laughing. I just let it roll. I just let it be loose and I let them do that and talk to each other a little bit and there's certain times like, you know, not to squash the laugh and there is nothing worse than when you say something that is supposed to be funny and you paused for the laugh and there is no laugh. 

Sarah: That is the sound of death on a stage. 

Mindy:   I don't know how comedians do it. I have told the staff it’s your job to police them if they're actually being rude. But if they are talking to each other a little bit or if somebody falls asleep, great. If somebody doesn't want to be there and they don't want to listen, I don't want you waking them up and saying pay attention! Let them sleep, they don't want to be here. They're going to be a distraction, if you wake them up. You waking them up is a distraction. Leave them alone.

Sarah: Here's the thing in that audience, you know, there are potential writers and they're always the ones who get irritated and self police. Those students who are really pushing that envelope on what's like, funny slash disrespectful. So they kind of self police a little bit, but you know that there are those students who are in there and they're just lapping up you being there and the things that you're teaching. And my goal when I do a school visit is that hopefully at least one or two students have been inspired to like not necessarily be a writer, but follow whatever their passion is, whatever their creative self is and to not be afraid or ashamed or anything of it and just go for it. 

Mindy:   I agree. Like I really hate it when the students feel like they can't interact or engage with you there. 

Sarah: I have some, some things that I'll do in schools where they just want me to come in and talk about my writing journey and I'll do that and that's my least favorite visit to do. Because, number one I'm talking about myself. While I love talking about myself, there's just something really awkward for me about standing in front of a bunch of students who really probably do not care about My 4th grade obsession with Choose Your Own Adventures. Although strangely enough, there are some students who get excited when I say, yeah, my writing was inspired from Choose Your Own Adventures books. So you never know who you're going to reach. 

No, I prefer to go into schools and I will give discounts to schools that are underrepresented populations or lower socioeconomic neighborhoods and stuff like that. Because going back to Where There's A Whisk, they have every right to pursue their dreams and to be inspired. And I'm not saying I'm a super inspirational person, but I do hope that the experience makes them think about what brings them joy. 

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Mindy:   I want to talk about Where There's A Whisk and I want to talk about setting it in the world of reality television. I don't really watch reality tv shows that often. I remember when Survivor was basically the first reality tv show back when I was in college and just being turned off by everything about it. And even though I wasn't really actively engaging in being a writer yet, a lot of me just kind of screamed, no, I don't like this. There's something about this that feels definitely untrue and scripted, but at the same time pretending not to be, I didn't like it. It left a bad taste in my mouth. 

But a friend of mine was on a reality tv show, I don't even know which one. He was cut early. I know that he's a drummer, so maybe it was something with music. I don't know. He's a really nice guy and the way they shot his talking head sequences, the way they positioned him in the group and the manipulations that they did. He came off as just like this horrible person, and it was the way that they maneuvered the light, and the way the music that they played with him and the editing that they did with the things that he said, and then just positioning what he would say against what someone else said, that made it sound like these two people have a problem with each other, when really neither one of them was even talking about the other individual. People think I'm a dickhead because of the way that they manipulated my words and my affect. And it was just it really affected him mentally and personally.

Sarah: You can't see this, but the whole time we were talking and I'm just nodding. But I did a lot of research and a lot of bloopers and a lot of articles with people who've been on reality shows to kind of get that back story and what really is happening. That was pivotal to the story line, because there were things happening that were being manipulated behind the scenes for Peyton. And she got to the point where she couldn't tell what was real and what was not real, what was true and what was not true. And trying to decide how much of herself she was willing to give up to be a part of the show and stay on the show. I do delve into that. And it isn't necessarily to do, like, some big expose in reality television. It's an expose in reality because we live in a time now where everybody's pictures are filtered and everybody's choosing what to put out for themselves and narrating their own lives and putting their best face forward, which I think is causing a lot of damage. know my age group because I have friends who are like, oh my gosh, this family is so perfect and we never go on vacation or do this. And I'm like, dude, that's not real. You don't know what kind of fights happened over that vacation. But teenagers, especially, their entire lives have been filtered and I just wanted to pull that curtain back and go, not everything is perfect and it's okay if you're not living up to what you think somebody else is living up to, that's okay. You do you because that's the only thing you can do. 

Mindy:   It’s funny that you say like our generation. So like I'm 42, I used to use social media very heavily. When I first started in the publishing industry, I never used it that heavily as an individual. Like in my personal life, I would use Facebook especially because that was what was kind of the new thing for a while. I stopped because people would friend me and I would be like, oh yeah, sure you. And then I would post things and I felt like people would then speak to me in public about things that I said on Facebook and I wasn't having interactions with people while I was in front of them. It was weird to me that my interactions with people in real life were about what I had done online. I didn't like it. I don't have a lot to say about the filter because my bullshit detector is always set high. And so I've always just been like, you don't look like that and I know it.

Sarah: Tik Tok’s filter is one of my favorites. So I kind of am obsessed with Tiktok and that's the result of the pandemic. But what I love about Tiktok is that the filter is so obvious. It's comical that anyone can do it. I actually have less problem with Tiktok and the filters on Tiktok, we always think we know because we're, we feel like we know somebody through social media, like what you're talking about. We feel like we know that person. So we assume we know what their life is like and then we have our reality of what our life is like and we as a species tend to compare, or at least us as an American society. We can, you know, it's a whole go all the way back to Keeping up with the Joneses. Like we're always comparing our lives to other people and that's just not healthy. It's just not good for your soul at all.

Mindy:   No, I try not to participate in it. Like you said, it is instinctive, like we all do it to a certain degree. I don't use social media as an individual like we were talking about before, you have your author persona and your real persona. Anything you see on social media is the author persona Mindy. Real Mindy is not out there anymore because she thinks it's all a freaking dog and pony show and I won't interact with it. Something else that happened for me Right before the pandemic. So the fall of 2019 - I went through a breakup and I had been with this person for 12 years, we broke up like very suddenly. It was truly traumatic. I had been with this person for 12 years, you know, we lived together and then suddenly they were gone and all their stuff was gone in the space of honestly a day. And it was just really hard and then my dog died. 

Sarah: I feel like we were at an event around the time all that this was happening because I think it is a very familiar story.

Mindy:   I think so. I was still doing my duties, like I was still going out, like I got on a plane and I flew out west to like a bookseller's convention, like the day that he was packing his stuff and leaving and I got home at two in the morning and I walk in the house and like his stuff's gone. It's like you flew to Missouri and you came back home and everything had changed in your life is different. Just like psychologically it broke me for a while. Then my dog died and then the pandemic came down on us. I was just done. I was not using social media at all, like not even as an author because like you were saying before, you know, author Mindy has energy and is out there whipping up people and being creative and it was like, I couldn't do that, like I couldn't access that at that time, it wasn't there for me so I didn't have anything to say other than everything sucks, right? And that was not something I was going to be putting out there. No one needed to hear that at the beginning of the pandemic. I just didn't use it. I didn't use social media at all, I fell off the map and I didn't even do an announcement like - things in my personal life, I won't be on Twitter anymore. Like I wasn't even gonna do that.

Sarah: You were just like peace out. I'm done. 

Mindy:   Yeah, nobody needs to know. Interestingly enough, my sales, my sales weren't affected. Of course, like my likes and my retweets and my new follows and all that stuff fell off because I wasn't there anymore, but it didn't have any effect on my career and I was like, well, you know the whole reason I've even been doing this is for my career. So what the hell am I doing?

Sarah: Where There's A Whisk just came out two weeks ago. I did use a little bit of social media to promote it. Probably not near as much as my publisher wanted me to promote it. But it goes back like that pandemic side, like you were talking about like Author Mindy. Pandemic Sarah thought Author Sarah was a pain in the ass and needed to shut up. But I was in the middle of edits. Author Sarah and Pandemic Sarah fought daily to the point that I was like, you know what? I even asked my husband, I'm like, hey, can we just send my advance back and can we just cancel this book? Because I can't do it. Like I just don't have the brain waves to do this anymore. It was a struggle.

 I hate that all conversations come back to Covid, but it's such a big part of our lives. And we even have the conversation because Where There's A Whisk is set in New York City and I use the city as a 9th character. And we had a conversation about how this was going to be coming out after Covid and we're trying to pitch it as a contemporary. But I feel like now it's almost historical fiction. But like we had a conversation about do we build any of this in? Do we build it in a post Covid. We basically came down to, you know, we're going to pretend like Covid never happened because there are going to be all those books that come out post Covid about viral infections and that's coming down the line and my experiences in Covid. We all lived that. Like I remember I've been watching Grey's Anatomy the last season, 17, and I had like almost PTSD when they were going through the beginning of the pandemic because I remember like where I was sitting on the day that this happened. It's just too fresh and so we decided no, we're going to pretend it never happened and we're going to create a New York City that is pre Covid.

Mindy:   I haven't written it in any of my books either.

Sarah: Your books don't need any more Darkness.

Mindy:   No, they don't. They certainly don't. My book that came out, my 2021 release, The Initial Insult, which is based on Edgar Allan Poe short stories, one of them being The Masque of the Red Death, which of course is about a pandemic. And the way I used it in the book was that there's a big, drunken kegger party going on when the stomach flu breaks out because I just love the idea of all these drunk, really drunk teenagers, then also all having a really viral stomach bug. There's a lot of puking in that book. 

I wrote that book in like 2018, there's a Tiger King like situation with an exotic animal owner and then there's this viral outbreak and they're talking about it. Like in the book, there's messages coming out from the school and it's like, if you have a fever, you need to stay home. We are monitoring the situation in the next school over where this has broken out. And people were like, oh my gosh, you must have written this right at the beginning of the pandemic, and I'm like, nope. 

Sarah: Oh my, you're a prophet. Holy cow. 

Mindy:   Between that and Tiger King and well, it was so funny because my editor told me he was like, I don't know how we're going to ever pitch this book. This is going to be so difficult. And then 2020 happened and it's like - it's The Tiger King meets Edgar Allan Poe in Appalachia with Covid except it's a stomach flu. My editor was like, oh shit. Netflix did me a favor with the Tiger King toss out. I'm like, oh, this is good.

Sarah: I mean, there was a collective loss of brain function.

Mindy:   We got a lot of gifs though. 

Sarah: There were so many.

Mindy:   Yeah, I'm over here, like reality tv sucks! No, I like this! It’s a documentary that's different. I feel like that's more highbrow, but it's the Tiger King, right?

Sarah: It's like the lowest denominator of highbrow, right? 

Mindy: There you go. It really, really is the last thing. Why don't you let listeners know where they can find you online and where they can find Where There's A Whisk

Sarah: Where There's A Whisk is available anywhere you can find books. If you want to request it from your indie bookseller, I would really appreciate that because we do need to support those indie booksellers, especially, publishing is more and more questionable about how many books and when books are coming out, to support your local booksellers. I am on Tiktok, but barely, but I'm going to be coming on more. That's my favorite platform period. Follow me on Twitter at SJ Schmitt. Yeah, just go to Tiktok and look up SarahJ_Schmitt and you’ll find me. 

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.

Caitlin Wahrer On Writing About Male Sexual Assault Victims

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy: We're here with Caitlin Wahrer, author of The Damage which released on June 15 and Caitlin has written a really edgy, propulsive read. It's all about a small town family dealing with the aftermath of a brutal rape of one of their family members. But one of the things that makes this so interesting is that the victim is male. And as soon as I read the summary, I thought, oh well this is different. So I'm first of all just was so entranced by the description because it tackles something that is important to me, which of course is sexual assault and the aftermath and how it affects so many people, not just the victim. Then to kind of flip the script and have the victim be male, I thought was really pretty ingenious. So if you would like to talk a little bit about the book, The Damage and why you decided to approach it the way you did. 

Caitlin: The first idea that I had was about a husband and wife, a problem that they were going to go through in terms of the wife realizing that her husband was going through a pretty negative change and was starting to feel vengeful about something and I thought, okay, so I'm going to give him a younger sibling but I don't want it to be a female. If I'm going to have a victim in the book, I want it to be male because I don't want to write female. And that was really how I started off with the very beginning of Nick's character. From there, I ended up deciding pretty cautiously to be honest, to write about sexual assault and just with each draft of the book, I would have someone else read it and be like, what do you think of this? And kind of talk to them about it. And with each draft, I decided okay, like I'm going to keep going with this version of the story. 

But ultimately it really came from a place of almost feeling a little bit tired of reading about female victims and just wanting it to be different. But then once I had done that I realized I had set up this total need to talk about what Nick would be going through and maybe parts of it would be recognizable to victims of any gender. But some of it is kind of specific to male survivors or at least specific to like broad strokes what researchers say male survivors go through. It ended up being this really interesting, possibly important or at least hopefully done in a way that isn't harmful discussion of what a young man might experience after a sexual assault. 

Mindy: You mentioned that you have done some research. Many of the things that Nick goes through are very similar to what a female would go through. So for example, just of course the feeling of being violated, but also that concern about, well I went willingly to this man's house, we had drinks together. Does it look bad that I was out cruising? That of course is universal. And as we all know, is the first thing that comes up in female rape case. What were you wearing? Where were you? How much had you had to drink? At what point did you remove consent? And is that even plausible? The similarities are definitely there. If you could talk a little bit about your research and the similarities between a female survivor and then of course the differences between a female and a male survivor of sexual assault. 

Caitlin: I completely agree with what you said about some of the big similarities. I think that anyone who engages the criminal justice process, whether they do it voluntarily looking for justice or if it kind of happens without them even really almost consenting to the fact that there is now going to be a criminal procedure. You know, a lot of times people aren't really told what it's going to entail, how long it's going to take, what possible outcomes are. And in the case of this story, it really gets kicked off because Nick's friends call the police on their way to the hospital. And so he feels like he didn't even really decide to involve the police, it happened there. Here and now he feels the need to deal with it. But also, I think that no matter who you are, if you engage the criminal process, a big part of what happens is your story just gets completely picked apart and almost removed from you in the sense that people are interviewing you, they really want to make sure that your statements are consistent. 

So you're almost getting cross examined when you're getting interviewed, depending on how the interviewer handles the situation. Some do it differently, but it's kind of common, at least for detectives or police officers, Sheriff's deputies, whoever is doing it in that jurisdiction to kind of really be needling almost the survivor about what happened because they know that a defense attorney is going to do the same thing later on. Criminal procedures tend to kind of be a zero sum game from the defense perspective. Not always, not every defense attorney, but I do think that that's a huge part of what happens. And so that part of the experience can be re-traumatizing and really brutal and unhelpful no matter who you are. So that's another thing that I think is really similar regardless of your gender. 

But one thing that I kind of realized as I just read things over the years that I worked on the book and eventually started reading textbooks almost about male survivors, how it impacts their view of themselves as men. And this is not universal at all. But a common thing that this textbook was talking about and that I read in other places is this idea that men in America and probably lots of other places grow up with this really strong message about what it means to be a man, what it means to be masculine, you're a winner. You end fights, you are sexually aggressive and sexually available, always. You are kind of supposed to be physically dominant and being sexually victimized by someone is the antithesis of a lot of that messaging that men get. It also really impacts their views of themselves as men and women definitely have their own things that they would struggle with. It's not exactly that because that's not the messaging that they're getting. 

And so that was something that I realized was kind of missing in the story that it would be really natural that Nick would probably struggle with that, especially given how his brother was acting in the wake of the crime, trying to fix everything, really micromanaging him and breathing down his neck about what Nick wants and what he thinks Nick wants and not listening to him. And so Nick loses a lot of agency throughout the story. And some of it I think naturally is tied to his view of himself as a man. 

Mindy: That's one of the, I think the biggest things that comes into it as far as the differences. I just very recently finished listening to Missoula by Jon Krakauer. The football team was basically sexually assaulting people left and right and they weren't getting reported or it was being brushed under the rug. One of their administrations even just referred to it as thuggery. One of the things that was really interesting to me listening to that book, like it was very, very difficult to listen to because for one thing they examined very carefully, two or three different cases. One of them, the assailant did end up serving hard time and in another got off like scot free. And what you're talking about with the absolute picking apart of the story and everyone being asked for the most extreme details, not only intimate details, but also  - did you ask before you changed positions, did you consent to change? Like questions that are highly detailed about things that you may not be making a note of in the moment and they’re you know, intense moments anyway. 

And I think for me, one of the things while reading your book that stood out was the fact that Nick, as I said before is dealing with a lot of the same when it comes to similar reactions of how much of this is my fault and was I consenting to a point? Now with Nick, it's a little different because he is assaulted. He's hit on the head before the crime actually commences so he doesn't have to work quite so hard to establish himself as an unwilling participant. However, just the fact that he is male brings it back to - for women if they freeze and they're asked why didn't you scream? Why didn't you fight back? You know, the answer is like I'm paralyzed with fear, but for a man like you were saying you're supposed to fight back, like fighting is your instinct, you know, why didn't that happen? 

Caitlin: I kind of made a point because I was using the internet also the way that there would be a newspaper article published online and there's always a comment section and those comments sections are just the worst places on the planet basically. And I kind of felt like that was a really natural place for people to be almost kind of putting some of that toxic masculine ideas out there of like - is it even really believable that he was unconscious from being hit on the head? Do we even believe that part of it? He probably did consent to all of this, and then he made up a story, or maybe he was actually so drunk and embarrassed that he couldn't hold his liquor, like, just kind of all of this trash that people in real life post on these stories. But in this case they're posting in about a man and the different things that they would think about that, and also some comments about the fact that he's a gay man, all of that kind of coming out and being part of what Nick is dealing with the anxiety and additional trauma around the event, knowing that people think that kind of stuff about him and are talking about it and wondering if it's going to impact the outcome of the case, and does it even matter? It's impacting him right now.

Mindy: Right. I thought too, one of the things that really got my attention was the pattern for the assailant is still very similar because they talk about this man who has done this before, who is looking for younger men who may not necessarily be out, and so he knows that if he can attack these people, the possibility of the crime actually being reported is lower. Of course they have the toxic masculinity to deal with, but they're also making that want to even be reporting well, I was in this bar, because we know that’s a gay bar. The similarities between when rapists are on the hunt or kind of picking out someone they might be interested in using as a victim, looking for someone that maybe is younger, a little more insecure, a little more naive. I thought it was interesting the way those elements stay static. 

Caitlin: It felt like that was at least somewhat natural to do. Although I think that it's also possible that men who sexually assault other men, maybe there are some different characteristics for them. I think that they're also just not really talked about and researched as much, you know. But I did think that in some cases that I have read about or I've you know read books where a man wrote an account after the fact, it did seem like those kinds of things were just like you said static, similar people who do this are doing it for a reason that doesn't really have anything to do with who you are as the victim. They're just picking you out. Thinking this is gonna work for me to get away with this.

Mindy: Easy prey.

Caitlin: Yeah.

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Mindy: One of the things that I liked so much about the book was showing those ripples throughout a group setting, a family dynamic where everybody is affected by this because I don't think that we as a society, no matter what the gender of the victim is, I don't think that we really give enough weight to how this radiates outwardly from that person, how this one event impacts so many people. And one of the things in particular that was almost in another way, kind of another gender flip that I thought was really interesting - the older brother who is married to Julia is having a hard time thinking about Julia now because she used to be a defense lawyer, and she in her past has defended rapists as a defense lawyer for the state.

And it begins to kind of chip away for him at this trust that had been in this marriage and now he has to think of his wife as someone in the past has been on the side, because the definition of her job, of the assailant. And they have multiple conversations where he's kind of picking at that and and and asking himself, you know, who is this person that is my wife, that if the straw were drawn differently, she would be defending the man who raped my little brother? And that's one of the relationships that is negatively affected by this event. So if you could talk a little bit about how that just radiates out and affects so many aspects of course, of the survivors life, but then those around them.

Caitlin: I love the example that you picked out because I really liked writing that I think because I was a defense attorney. And so I think that maybe even Tony's point of view is somewhat maybe a more critical side of myself looking at myself. But at the same time, I agree with Julia that defense attorneys are completely constitutionally necessary. And so that was a really interesting thing to write. And it definitely, like you said, as Tony becomes more and more angry and dysfunctional about what has happened and what is continuing to happen as the process goes on, he feels like he can't talk to Julia because she's not going to get it because of her history. At the same time, Julia is feeling like Tony's being totally unreasonable and she can't share everything with him because he's in such an unreasonable place. 

And so their communication completely breaks down over the course of the book and I think that you definitely see little snippets of how it impacts their kids, but I didn't focus on that too heavily. Also how it impacts the relationship between Nick and the friend he was with at the bar when he went home with the man. He feels like it had nothing to do with her, but she seems to feel guilty about it and that just makes him feel tired, and like it's worse that she's acting like she has anything to do with it. And it really just kind of their relationship falls apart and maybe he does have some anger at her once he starts to really process it. 

And then at the same time Nick and Tony have a father in common and they each have mothers and Julia has a mom. And so the extended family all become impacted. I think for me as a former attorney, most of what I did really was an adult criminal law, it was juvenile defense. And so that's just defending kids, mostly teenagers who were charged with crimes. And I also did a lot of child protection work. So that's cases where the state steps in to protect a child in a home. With those kinds of cases, everything that I worked on was impacting a family unit. That's kind of just how I've grown to see a single criminal act impacts so many different people and how that family unit responds to the, either the criminal act or maybe an allegation of child neglect or allegation of child abuse, whatever it is, it's how that family functions or doesn't function that can determine so much of how that case ends. 

Because even in juvenile cases, although sometimes we're looking at punishing a juvenile for specifically what they did or did not do during that moment of the alleged criminal act, a lot of it depends on their conduct after the fact. So even if they did something quite damaging, if they go through a whole year of therapy, they might end up not having a criminal record that's going to follow them into adulthood. Whereas if they do something really small, but then they're violating their terms of conditions of release for the next whole year, they might end up with something that's going to follow them because they just weren't doing what the court wanted them to do. And so I'm just really used to seeing things as how is the family handling the situation? How are they supporting each other or how are they falling apart? How are they negatively impacting each other? And what is that doing to what the process is going to look like as we go forward?

Mindy: And it has such a huge impact. I worked in a high school for 14 years. So I know that when you have situations like that, I don't think we give enough credit to Children often about what they do and do not understand what they can process or what they're capable of, but I also think at times it goes the other way where we we forget that you know, a 16, 17 18 year old is still a kid and are like completely overwhelmed by so many things. 

Caitlin: Totally, totally. And I think for me at least coming from that background, even though Nick is a 20 year old man, I think of him still as being a kid in certain ways. Like when I think about young men, I always think about not having your frontal lobes and what a difference that makes the part of your brain that helps you say pause - is this really a good idea? I'm having a really impulsive desire to do something. In Nick's case to me what's being impacted by his not being fully developed as an adult is later in the book, he really struggles with self harm and just kind of like impulsive desires to cause harm to himself because of what's happened and he's really not able to pause and stop himself. And I think that that's really realistic and I saw that in young men sadly as in my job.

Mindy: It’s really interesting that you included that aspect, especially of youth because you're right, we aren't fully developed mentally for a while, even though we are legally adults, I don't know that the brain can really align with that moment of turning 18 and suddenly know you're an adult now!

Caitlin: Totally. I agree with you. Yeah. I think it's like 26 or maybe it's 24, I can't remember .but it's well into your twenties for most male brains at least to finalize all of the structures of their brain. 

Mindy: Yes, it is. And I know that I personally, I tell people often, I don't feel Like I really knew who I was or what I wanted until I was probably 30. I think it's an interesting kink that you threw there where the victim’s also quite young and maybe in some ways not even fully capable of processing what has actually happened to them. Initially Nick just keeps insisting. No, I'm fine. Like even the morning after when people are in the hospital with him and his face is smashed and he's like, I'm fine. 

Caitlin: I think that's really common. I think that happens also for adults, sometimes it's partly, you know, the trauma of very, very slowly being able to understand almost or at least acknowledge what has just happened. But definitely I think a huge part of it too is that throughout the whole book and from that very first interaction, Tony is making his younger brother feel like a kid the whole time they're interacting and it's the last thing that actually wants. 

Mindy: You got a blurb from Stephen King. Congratulations!

Caitlin: Oh my gosh, thank you. 

Mindy: That's a nice little feather in your cap. How did you go about making that happen?

Caitlin: I feel like I can't even take credit for it. My editor, I don't know if she sent him a letter or just an email or how it happened, but I think it was my editor Pam Dorman who reached out to him and what I kind of have heard through the grapevine after the fact from someone else is that he's really good to debut authors. He knows what it was like to be a total newbie in this really scary book world and he knows how much a review from him means. And so I think that it was probably just an act of kindness and maybe maybe the Maine connection too, because I was born here. I still live here. That might have been it too. 

But all I know is that it was just like the most exciting thing. So I actually just had a baby five weeks ago and I think I was like maybe I had her a matter of days after he gave the blurb. And my husband and I were just like, the whole day that it had happened, we were like you're going to just go into labor today out of excitement, that’s what's going to happen! But it happened a few days later, but still, I was just like, I was like over the moon, I couldn't, I genuinely love him so much and I have been reading his stuff and listening to his lectures and I love his books. I used to think he was too scary for me but in the last few years I started reading him and I was like, oh no, actually I love this.

Mindy: I’m not even pregnant and I think if Stephen King blurbed me I'd go into labor. 

Caitlin: Right? You would just like have a baby? 

Mindy: Yeah, I would just have a baby. Well, congratulations. That's truly amazing. I agree. I've never had the opportunity to meet Stephen King but I have heard that he is extremely kind, very generous to new authors, aware of his own position and status and how he can kind of confer that onto others. So that's super cool. Last thing, why don't you let my listeners know where they can find you online and where they can find the book The Damage.

Caitlin: I think that both my Instagram and Twitter handles are just my name, Caitlin Wahrer, which is C A I T L I N   W A H R E R  My facebook, I have a Facebook page that I neglect but it does exist and I try to post every now and then. And that is also just my name. I think you can buy The Damage. just about anywhere. A lot of our local bookstores in Maine have it. So definitely if you love supporting your local bookstores, you can check Indie Bound. It's also available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and Books a Million and probably other places that I'm forgetting.

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.