Kathleen Basi On Writing Music, Fiction &The Personal Sting of Rejection

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy: We're here with Kathleen Basi, author of A Song For the Road. Kathleen was previously a guest on the blog and we talked a little bit about her publication journey and I'm really glad that you contacted me and asked if I had a spot open on the podcast because I started this podcast hoping to reach aspiring authors and to make sure that I'm always talking to every guest about how they got started and about their query journey and their agent hunt. But then as the podcast has gotten bigger and bigger and I've gotten authors who are further along in their career and more established, they've been writing for 20 or 30 years. So their journey would be completely unhelpful to modern writers who have email and social media and all of those things. So I'm really glad to kind of go back to my roots and talk to you about your publication journey because I know that you were querying for awhile, correct? 

Kathleen: I think I started querying probably 10, 12 years agol I mean it's a long time. It's long enough that I've birthed several Children and I have a child old enough to drive now. 

Mindy: Did you start in the world of self addressed stamped envelopes? 

Kathleen: I did not. It was always done on Query Tracker and email and things like that. So I'm not quite that old. 

Mindy: I’m just edged ahead of you, then. I started with the SASE’s and getting little cards back in the mail that just had check marks where there was a yes box and a no box. It was like dating in fourth grade. It was terrible. 

Kathleen: You know, I've been publishing music longer than I've been working with fiction and I did have to do some self addressed stamped envelopes for a while. There was one particular music publisher who really held out for a long time before going electronic and I was like AHHH! Stamps! But you know I actually have some sympathy with them for holding out that long because it's a real commitment to print the thing out, to make the envelope, to go find how much postage it's going to take, to put on the envelope and all that. I mean you have to really be committed to the process. It's a heck of a lot easier to just click attach and send an email. 

Mindy: Absolutely, I'm sure it weeded out some people who are not serious. It's a really good point because, Similar with where I began in trying to get published around 2001, If you got a request for a partial, you had to print out those papers like you're saying with music. You had to print out the 1st 30 pages, you had to put that in an envelope. You had to take that envelope to the post office and ask the postmaster to weigh it and put return postage on it. And then you had to put that envelope inside of another envelope, seal that, and ask them to run it again, and then you mail that. And I live in the middle of nowhere. They would basically be like, what are you doing? What is this? And then I end up having a conversation about being a unpublished, failed writer while I'm standing in the post office holding up the line.

Kathleen: I got to the point actually where the music publishers would say if you want your manuscript returned to you then you must blah blah blah. And I would always end up putting in the cover letter - There's no need to return the manuscript to me. Just recycle it. That at least cut out some of that having to take it in away. Then I could just give them the envelope, Just a standard business envelope to send their rejection back and cut me in the heart. 

Mindy: That was my favorite. I try to explain that to people in the new world of digital. Getting a rejection letter addressed to you in your own handwriting and how it has its own special blade. 

Kathleen: Right? 

Mindy: You said you've been writing music for a long time, which is wonderful. And I'd love to talk to you about that as well. But what made you take that turn into fiction? Just kind of walk us along that process of deciding to become a writer and then deciding to try to get published. Because those are two different things. 

Kathleen: I have written fiction since I was in the first grade. So it wasn't particularly new. My degrees are in music. I have a masters in flute performance, super useful degree. Let me tell you. 

Mindy: I have a degree in philosophy of religion, so I understand. 

Kathleen: But you know those degrees form who we are. I feel like I interact with the world in a very different way than I would have if I'd studied something else. And when I was doing my master's degree, I was five hours from home, I did not have a car, I really had nothing and during that time I was practicing my flute four hours a day in a little tiny room by myself. And my relaxation time was to go to the computer lab, because I didn't have a computer either, pull out the disk that had - I mean we're talking old school here - and pull out the disk that had my novel on it. And that was what I did for relaxation was to write books or write stories. 

I don't think I realized that I was actually writing novels until probably very shortly before I got married, which was right after my Master's degree. And at some point I intersected with how long a novel is? I wonder how long these stories that I've been writing my whole life are? And I went and looked and I went, oh, I'm writing novels! I didn't even know it, that's how completely clueless I was. And so at that point then I decided that it was time to get serious and then start figuring out how to do this for real. 

And of course at the moment when I started trying to do it for real, it suddenly was much harder because you had to stay in one point of view and there were all these rules that I didn't know and I spent a long time having to learn those rules. But I love the writing community because there's so much available online now. I've never been to in person writing conferences very much. I've never taken in person classes, but I've learned it all because it's all there, it's all available to people. 

Mindy: It is. And that's one of the things that is really beautiful about the digital age. Because once again, I remember going to Borders Books, rest in peace, and buying the writer's market guide to literary agents for that year, going through it. Ear marking things.

Kathleen: Do they even publish those anymore? 

Mindy: I doubt it. I mean it would be pointless. 

Kathleen: There was at some point when one of my writing partners actually gave me one of those and at that time even, I thought it was slightly odd because I thought - isn't all this online? But I used it for a few years for short stories.

Mindy: It's an age that has passed and in some ways, thank God. But it's interesting, like you said, having to make that effort, it really did weed out people that weren't serious about querying agents. Because you had to go, you had to buy the book, you had to keep track of everything, You had to mail everything yourself, you had to put postage, paper, ink, all of that into it. Yeah, it was frustrating and it was really bogged down and it was obviously an archaic system, but it did separate the wheat from the chaff right from the start.

Kathleen: I actually feel kind of bad for literary agents now because it's so easy. Even those who have like a submission form and everything. I mean, they must just get completely inundated. It's hardly a surprise that it's a long response time for most of us and no response equals no, or no response means I haven't gotten to it yet. And just - this is a crazy making business.

Mindy: It is, it really is. What made you decide - Yeah, I have a novel and I want to try to not only just be a writer, but to be a published author? What made you do that and what were the steps that you took? 

Kathleen: I think that I set out to do it because as a musician and writing music, it's not just given to me for my own enjoyment, particularly with music. It's lovely to do something for yourself. But where it really becomes meaningful is when you start to interact with an audience and that public performance where you start to get feedback is what makes it all really, really meaningful to me. You don't have that with fiction in quite the same way, like once in a while you get to read to your audience, but it's not like performing music. 

But even so, there's that sense that it was not given to me, to be written for me to hoard and hide my head under the blanket and read for my own use. It was given to me to go out and do something in the world and to touch people and to interact with people. To me, it wasn't even a question of, oh, do I want to get published or not? Of course I did. Absolutely, I did. 

And I knew also that I did not want to self publish as I started to learn because I knew that I would suck at self publishing. I mean, that's just not, it is not my charisma. I knew that some venue of traditional was what I wanted to do. And so I never gave up on the literary agents and in the blog post that I wrote for you, I talked about how, you know, the first one had these problems, and so I'm like, all right, I'm going to fix that for the next time. But then there's another problem with the second one, and there's like a plateau and a climb and a plateau and a climb. 

With music, there are times when everything seems really easy in playing, and you're on a plateau. You've reached a new level and you're able to sit and enjoy it for a minute, but then you see something else up there that you want to reach for, and so you start climbing again and it's hard again. And that's how I felt and still feel about writing, is that it's a constant pursuit of greater excellence, greater attention to detail and all of those things enhance the ability to connect with readers in the long run. 

Mindy: I love the analogy. I also played piano for about 10 years when I was younger and I think it was some of the most character building moments and experiences of my life. I've tried to explain to people for example, I have a book coming out with James Patterson in November. We co authored a book together. He would call me, we would have phone conversations about the project. People would be like, do you get nervous when James Patterson calls you? And I would say no because I did Guild in piano, right? 

And it's like if you aren't in music you don't understand. But it's like you, I always did the max for my age level, I did 10 pieces. And so it was like you had to memorize 10 pieces and you walked into a room and it's just you, the piano and three judges. You sit down and you play 10 songs from memory. They ask you to play certain scales or whatever and you don't know what they're going to ask. And you got to be ready from ages seven to like 18, I played piano, and so as a child to walk into that, it just prepared me for so much in life in so many ways. You know, it prepared me to be in the spotlight. It prepared me to have everything riding on you. It prepared me for challenges. It prepared me for critique.

Kathleen: You have to have the sheer dedication. Are you a natural memorizer or was that a struggle for you? 

Mindy: I assume it's muscle memory. 

Kathleen: Yeah. So you're a natural memorizer and that helps, but Simply the process of having to prepare all of that music. I mean you can't do that in 10 days. 

Mindy: No.

Kathleen: I mean it's a long process. 10 pieces. That's a lot of music. 

Mindy: Yeah,it is. And people don't usually use the word like steeliness or grit with musicians, but you're gonna have some balls to go do that. 

Kathleen: You do. It's actually a lot like being a writer, there's a sheer ego involved in the idea that something inside of me is inherently worthy to be heard by other people or to be read by other people. There's like there's an ego involved in that. But we also have to be humble. I think it's weird because we hate ourselves and we hate our writing and we get all dramatic about it a lot of times. So there's like this constant push and pull between the ego and the self loathing.

Mindy: The ego and the id. It's true. Self loathing is absolutely right. People ask me all the time if I read my own books and the answer is no, because it's published now. It's out there, it's a solid thing. And if I were to read it… when I do readings in public, I tell them if they have a copy of the book to follow along because I'm going to change it. I'm editing it as I read and I'm changing things on the fly because I would do things differently now. 

Kathleen: Reading them out loud doesn't work the way that it does when you're reading it.

Mindy: I offer editing services and I tell people that sometimes I'll highlight a sentence and I'll be like, this is a good sentence and you've done a good job here, but I want you to read it out loud. I'm making this up - but if it would be like the howling ouroboros, you know, it's just you know, you don't want anyone trying to read that. Think of the audio book, man!

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Mindy: So once you went out on your query journey with your fiction, you had been through this process of rejection before in the music industry. So you were prepared in a lot of ways. But was there a different feeling? Was there a different flavor to having your music rejected and to having your writing rejected? 

Kathleen: I write two different kinds of music and one of them is just sort of instrumental incidental music kind of thing. The rest of the music that I write is for use in Christian worship. It's a very specific thing. So when I would get a rejection most of the time, I was not surprised because I could see like I was really immersed in the stuff and I could see why, like how, how crowded it was. There's only so many things that a congregation can learn to sing. So they are very cautious about publishing more. I guess what I'm trying to say is there's like a one step of remove there and with the fiction, it went straight to the heart of who I am and the message that I want and the legacy that I want to leave in the world. 

It's odd for me to say that now, because my music is intensely, intensely personal and I spend much more time crafting texts now than I ever did when I got my first publications in the musical world. Even so, there's something about the fiction that I guess I would have to say it's probably because there are conventions and they're like, when you're working within a very slim niche like that, the texts have to fit within certain parameters. And so there's a Stravinsky quote that I always say - the greater the limitation, the greater the art. 

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And so that's how I look at music. And then fiction frees me. In fiction, I got to say everything that there wasn't room to say. Certain words just can't be sung. Well, they just don't interact well with written notes on a page. And all of those words, all of those topics, when you're writing for worship, you have to sort of code things if you want to talk about, they're going to feel a little too specific and not universal enough. And all of those were available in fiction, in a sense.

Mindy: I understand what you're saying because I'm a Lutheran. So, when we're looking at music and I as a writer, I'll be looking at, especially the more modern music when we use that, the word choice and how things are being used just because I'm a writer. So I understand what you're saying, where you have to consider so many elements with the music, and also the limitations, of course, of the musical prowess of the congregation.

Kathleen: Right? 

Mindy: Yeah, I mean, that all makes a lot of sense. And you are, in some ways, have a limited vocabulary when you're especially writing for a Christian audience. 

Kathleen: And I think that's appropriate because you're trying to build a bridge. My character in A Song For the Road is a Catholic music director. And that was a very difficult line to walk, because I didn't want to write Christian fiction. You can go too far in certain directions and you end up writing something other than what you intended to write. I wanted it to be secular fiction that happened to have a character who had this background and was struggling with the loss of her family and all of those things kind of work together. But I didn't want to be aiming at that niche audience. I wanted to reach the larger audience. So there were limits to the things that could be said in this book as well. Even at that, writing fiction feels much freer, almost a blank canvas. And I truly can take this anywhere that I feel called to do so. And that is terrifying and beautiful. It is a privilege. It's a responsibility. And when somebody rejects that, then it's different, you know, and you just have no idea when those emails, when they're going to come in. 

Mindy: Talking about that blank canvas, people ask me, when you do interviews, do panels or blog, or podcast, people will ask - what are you afraid of? That's a question that comes up often like an icebreaker question. And my answer is File > New Document. 

Kathleen: Yes!

Mindy: That is what I am afraid of. 

Kathleen: Oh my gosh, I hate the drafting process. I have so many people who are like - outlining! Oh, no! I’m a panster! and I'm like, if I pants, I will hit a brick wall and I will have absolutely no idea where I'm going, I have to outline it and I'm gonna hit a brick wall anyway and I'm going to have to stop and go wait a minute - this is not working. Let's redo the outline. But I've got to know where I'm going. 

Mindy: I have a general idea of where I'm going most of the time, but I tend to let things be a little bit more organic. My process scares like a lot of my friends that are also writers. when I talk about my process, they get like, hives. And they always say, how can you do that? And how does that even work? And I'm like, I don't know, but I don't look at it too hard because it does work and I don't want to break it.

Kathleen: And I think that's important. We have to recognize that everybody's process is different. We're all wired differently. I have a child who has down syndrome and so in the world of disability there's a lot of overlap. I've spent a lot of time interacting with people in the autism community. And there's that discussion of just, we're wired differently and I've realized that it's not just about disability versus typically neurotypical people. Neurotypical people are all wired differently, too. like truly neurodiversity is a wondrous thing. 

Mindy: One of the things that I tell people, especially as a writing coach, everyone is the way they are for a reason, right? And it's true. I hold to that. If you're going to accept that this is true for you and this is true for your sister and your brother and your mom and your dad, you have to accept that this is also true for like, a serial killer. It's going to make you uncomfortable, but you have to think about that. And when I'm doing writing coaching and we're talking about villains or unlikable characters or characters a little little more difficult to crack and too much. Everyone is the way they are for a reason. Figure out what that reason is. Why is this person this way? And it's a really good tool to help you understand your characters when you're writing fiction.

Kathleen: I've used a lot of Lisa Kron's work in the last few years with that question of why is the character this way? is one that is foremost in my mind all the time. Now, I'm actually in the process of trying to brainstorm a major revision of a book that didn't really get its fair shake at querying, because A Song For the Road came up, and it was clear to me that that one was closer to ready. It had everything that was necessary. It had the plot hook and the emotional hook. So, the book before that, I kind of set aside and really focused my efforts on getting this one published. And now I'm going back to that other novel and Looking at it with more objective eyes, because it's now been like, six years.

Mindy: That really helps 

Kathleen: And having had my agents look at it and they gave me like a paragraph - here's what I see in this. And I'm like, oh, okay, so I reread it and I'm like, oh yeah, I see that too. Okay, now, how do I fix it? And it's a big rewrite. That question of why people are the way they are is the journey I'm just embarking upon again. 

Mindy: It’s a crowbar that you can just wedge in to figure someone out, I think. Only apply this in fiction. If you do it in real life, uh - don’t put crowbars in people's brains. Nobody likes that.

Kathleen: But it does help to think of people. I mean -

Mindy: It's an empathy builder. 

Kathleen: Yes. Yes, that's exactly where I was going. I feel like fiction is an empathy builder. Writing fiction and reading fiction, we can get inside people's heads and understand them in a way that we are unable to make ourselves that vulnerable in real life. Sometimes I am really struggling with the questions of why are people the way they are and how are they? I think fiction has a great deal to offer us in this time, in this place in history. 

Mindy: Absolutely. And when you practice this as a writer, you do practice it in real life as well. I'm by no means like some type of yogi but After having been writing full time for 10 years, my patience and my empathy and my understanding has just grown by leaps and bounds. I don't think I was ever like a very truly judgmental person. I mean maybe when I was a teenager because I was a teenager, but I tend to be kind of brusque. I can be like I have things to do, I need to get them done. The way that I describe myself is that I tell people I'm not nice, I'm kind. There's a difference, being kind goes deeper. Being nice is superficial and I don't have time for that. I don't have time to pretend like I like you. 

When it comes to practicing that empathy… being a writer and asking myself the hard questions about the characters that I'm writing, because I don't always write likeable characters has definitely helped me to kind of move and function in the world a little more smoothly with a little less irritation and anger because I can just be like, okay, I mean they believe this or they think this or they did this why? And can I find common ground somewhere? But I can at least understand the thought process that got you here. I don't like where you are, but if I can figure out how you got there somewhere along the way there’s a step, then I can look at and say let's turn this right here a little differently. 

Kathleen: And see I'm trying to reach that point. I do tend to be a little more judgey, I have to admit.

Mindy: Well, like I said, I'm no Yogi. I just yesterday  got out of the car, I hit my head on the car getting out of the car and it made me really angry. So I turned around and I punched the car. So I make myself sound really zen. But the truth is that I hit a Ford Flex yesterday and it hurt my hand and that was stupid. 

Last thing, why don't you let people know where they can find you online and then also where they can find your book A Song For the Road

Kathleen: A Song For the Road is available at all your online retailers. I know that it's on the shelves in Barnes and Noble and I know that it's on the shelves at quite a few indie bookstores and of course all of the other places that you would expect. You can find me at my website Kathleen Basi dot com. That's spelled K A T H L E E N B A S I So Kathleen basi dot com. And that has links to my music too. If you're interested in that, I'm on Facebook under Kathleen M. Basi, and I'm on Instagram and I don't spend much time on Twitter. I'm a Twitter failure, I will say. 

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.

Crystal Swain Bates On Promoting Diversity In Children's Publishing

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy: We're here today with Crystal Swain Bates. She is a celebrated Children's book author and she's the owner of Goldest Karat Publishing, which she founded in order to address the lack of diversity in Children's literature. She's written and published 12 Children's books which have been seen on platforms including CNN, and Huffington Post. Her book, Big Hair Don't Care is one of Amazon's most highly reviewed black Children's books on the market. 

So one of the things I really want to talk to you about, because I think it's important is that at this point, I would hope that there is at least an awareness in the publishing community and in the larger, broader world that there is a need to address the issue of encouraging diversity in the publishing industry. It's become something that we talk about to an extent that I think people may not realize that we need to continue talking about it. This isn't a one and done - let's have the conversation and put a bandaid on it. So, I'd really like for you if you could talk about why this is a continuing conversation. 

Crystal: That's a really good question, because it has been at least a decade that people have been talking about the need for a greater diversity in Children's literature and although there have been articles about it, although there are some black books on the market, there still are not a lot and it's for so many different reasons. Although a lot more people have been able to use self publishing as an avenue to publish books that are more diverse, when you self publish, it's very hard to get your books actually sold in stores. You want your book to be widely available to people, you want your book to have the same status as a lot of the other books that are out there. So what I've been seeing is that a lot of the mainstream publishers, while they may have increased a little bit, the publishing of books that feature black characters, it's very much something it seems like they do just so they can hit the numbers and say, See, we published this one book, we published one book with one black character, so you should be happy. 

And the thing is, we are so far behind in Children's literature when it comes to diversity, that one book is not enough. We need books that hit on all sorts of subjects and topics that Children experience. Something as simple as potty training, something as simple as I'm a big Brother, I'm a big sister. I published a book in a I’m Big Sister and Big Brother series and people were in the Amazon Reviews so blown away saying, wow, I've never been able to find a book with a black character that talked about becoming a big brother or big sister and it seems so basic. But the way that the traditional publishers are publishing books and just doing one or two and feeling like they fulfilled that need, really reflects the reason it's still needed. 

We haven't had enough books that have been published. We don't have enough indie publishers who are being picked up by the traditional publishers - people who've had success, including myself, someone who's had so much success self publishing. So many people love my books. I've never once had a traditional publisher reach out to me and say, Hey, I'm really loving what you've been doing. I would love to get you to do some additional books for our publishing company. 

Mindy: It's so true. What you're saying about for instance, those little corners of life, like I'm a big brother, I'm a big sister, I'm the little sister. I was a Children's librarian for about 14 years. And one of the things I did for the district was I rehauled the way the entire elementary library was organized. It needed a lot of help and I went in there and just took everything off the shelves and redid the entire thing. One of the things that I ended up doing was creating a section that was for some special moments in life. So there were books like my parents are getting divorced, my grandmother died. My best friend moved away. I have to get glasses. I have to get braces. My dog died... any life moment. And those aren't just happening to white kids. Right? So I think it's so important. 

We talk a lot about Children needing to see themselves represented in literature, but you're right about that band Aid where it's like the traditional publishing model, they release so many books a season and very much they are still leaning on the, well we have our black book for this season. We have our indian book, we have it, you know, check box. The kid that has to worry about their weight and not have a book that shows themselves as a Black kid or an Indian kid or whatever their skin color is, to have the book that is about what their particular issue is and to have the character look like them. I can't even imagine the weight, the immense good that that would do for a child. 

Crystal: Absolutely. I've talked a lot about the invisibility of Black Children and Children's books and it really makes a difference. It really stands out in ways that as adults, we might not realize. An example of that is I have a book called I'm a Pretty Princess. Now, I wrote this book because it's pretty hard to find Black Princess and it is very hard to find black princess books. And the thing is when you don't have very many black princesses or any at all, that kids get to see. Guess what? They end up thinking that they can't be a princess. 

So I had a parent reach out to me, she was very upset. She said that she bought her daughter my book and she's reading it with her and her daughter is like, no, this can't be me, I can't be a pretty princess. You know, her mom's like, hyping her up, like, Oh look at you, you know, you're pretty princess too! And she says, I can't be a princess. And her mom says, well why? And she says, because I'm not white. 

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That is what it does when kids don't get to see themselves in books. And of course, I mean, a princess, you know, there are real life princesses, but even if you take that to something that's more real life, more realistic and you look at something like careers. Okay, what about black characters that are doctors and nurses, or engineers or astronauts? The President? When you don't get to see these things, you automatically feel like if you're not seeing it is because I can't be it. You know, maybe this profession, maybe this happiness, this joy that I see kids having in these other books is limited to them. And it doesn't extend to me because I'm black or because I'm whatever, right? So that's why it's so important. 

And kids really do realize when they see these books, they see skin color, you know? They might not even be able to express what they're seeing, but they do see it and they see differences. Kids see colors, they see differences at a very early age. It's something that's so important to me and I really struggle with trying to explain it to people because there is a percentage of the population that is very anti the types of books that I'm writing. 

I have received hate mail over my books. I had an Amazon commercial that was nationally televised and it was all over the place. It got so many views. And the commercial shows me, you know, this was Amazon highlighting a small business that sells on Amazon. So the commercial shows me and I'm showing my books and I say that I write books that normalize Black girl Magic, and black boy joy. I get literally, I mean every time I open my email there was someone saying, oh you shouldn't be writing books with black characters, You should write books with all characters. You shouldn't be making race an issue. Whereas in none of my books is Race even mentioned. It's just a black character just being black and living their lives, right? 

So I got so much hate mail. And even on my Youtube channel, whenever I talk about my books, there's someone that comes along and they say that race is no longer important. I should not be writing black Children's books. Books that make sure that there is a black character, you know, at the start. And the thing is where were you, when all of these books were created that had nothing but white characters, you weren't saying anything. Then you weren't saying oh all Children matter. All colors matter. You didn't say anything until you saw me publishing books with black characters and you felt a way about it. So it's very difficult.

I completely understand why from a financial perspective you have a lot of the mainstream publishers who don't want to publish a whole bunch of books with black characters. It's because they don't want to publish these books and not get a lot of sales. In my experience, white people don't buy books with black characters. When you go into a bookstore, first of all, the way that they even place our books to begin with is in an African American section or an urban section. And it's very much removed from the rest of the books. So you have to actually intentionally wander over to that section to find a book with the black character. They're not just aligned with the rest of the books on the bookshelf in the genre appropriate section. They're put in their own little section. It tells people that, oh I don't need to buy this book unless I am Black or unless it's Black history month and I want to do something special for my school or you know. And that's a big part of the issue. So the sales of black books are not going to be as high because again, if only 12 or 13% of the population will purchase a book, you're already doomed. 

That's one of the really big difficulties that we still have to overcome. I've seen this happen in real life when I was vending my books. I used to do a lot of shows, a lot of exhibits and things like that where I would take my books and I would sell them at festivals and things. I saw a white father and his two kids, a boy and a girl. And the kids are looking at my table because I have a beautiful display with all of my books and they can tell it’s Children's books. So the kids are like, daddy daddy and they're trying to pull him over to my table. He looks and he sees - I assume that the books have black characters and he pulls them away, like he doesn't let them come over to the table. I've read an article about a woman who bought a baby book, right? That had a black character on it and took it to a white woman, her friend, her friend's baby shower and the lady looked at her like she was crazy. Like why would you buy my white baby this black baby book? 

So we still have a lot to overcome. We really still have to make it known that Children need to be reading books with all characters, all colors. It shouldn't just be that you're only buying books in the same way that black parents buy Children's books that have both white and black characters. And a lot of it is out of default because it's very difficult to even find black Children's books in the first place. Everyone should be reading books with characters that don't look like them, characters that do and that don't. They need to get that perspective so that when kids go to school and they meet other kids they're not so fascinated with - So why does your skin this color? Why does your hair look like that? Kids, they only do that because they're not used to seeing other kids that don't look like them. So when you create an environment in your household where all of your reading literature is of characters that look like your child, you're actually doing them a disservice and it's something that carries on throughout their lives as well. 

Mindy: I just particularly want to talk about, like you were saying, the father who pulled his kids away from your table, like, no, that's not for you. That instant othering is so harmful. And I'm not sure that people realize that even having that separate section in the bookstore, some people - white people particularly - might look at it and be like, oh look, that's great. There's a whole section for Black kids. It's like, no, they should just be in with regular books. Like there is a section for Black kids, maybe the intent is celebratory, but it's still pure and total segregation and that is affecting discoverability. 

Crystal: Exactly. 

Mindy: I mean, I am in the publishing industry, so I'm aware of what's being published and what's out and what's new and what's been done, typically in the YA sector. That's where I operate. I know very, very little about what's going on in Children's publishing. And that's kind of how publishing works, you’re active in usually one area. So when I am going to buy, for example, a book for a baby shower… which one of the things that people do now, which I think is really cool, is that instead of bringing a card, they ask for a book and to write message for the baby or the mom inside of the book and kind of to build a library for the infant, which I think is super cool. 

But when this happens when I'm invited to a baby shower, I don't know what the hot books are right now in Children's publishing. So I'm going to walk into the Barnes and Noble or whatever and I'm going to go back to the Children's section and it's pure discoverability where I'm standing there browsing and I'm going to be exposed to all of these books for the first time. So you're totally right. There is a section for white books and the Black books, I as a white person, would more than likely be buying a book for a white mother. I'm just going to go towards those books. But if the books are all in one place and it's just - these are books for Children, they're all going to be in front of me and I have the literal discoverability of being like, oh look at this one, right? And that child then grows up with a book showing kids of different colors and just like you're saying, don't have to be surprised when they go into the real world and see people that don't look like them. It's just that representation is so important in the growth of that child that it can't be overstated. 

Crystal: Exactly. 

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Crystal: This is a subject I'm so passionate about and it does make me sad because I feel like this is a fight that's been going on for so long and even when it comes to doing interviews and podcasts, this is something that I talk about a lot and you know, honestly sometimes I feel like, gosh, I'm tired of talking about this. Like I want to talk about it because it's still needed. But why do I still have to talk about the lack of diversity in Children's books? It's very frustrating. 

I have a facebook group of predominantly women and largely underrepresented women. When it comes to publishing, the group is open to everyone, but the people who tend to join do tend to be black women because they see me and I am a black woman. So one of the things that I see is right now, I've taught them how to publish books, how to write and publish their own Children's books. And I am so blown away by them because a lot of those gaps that we talked about, they are filling those gaps. So, you know, they're writing books about autism and these books have black characters. They're writing books about various diseases and cancer and depression and going to the dentist and just the things that we don't get to see when you go into a bookstore. 

But I feel like, okay, I've taught them how to do this, they're doing it and they're doing it well. But how can I get, how can I help increase the discoverability of their books? Because it's not enough to just write the book. Write the book, but how do you get it in front of the people who need to see it? So it's something that I struggle with because there's no easy way to find these books, even once they're online if they're on amazon or if they're sold an independent bookstores that may or may not pick them up, it still becomes a matter of, you know, a lot of parents are still having difficulties finding the books because when they go to the bookstore as a lot of people do, they're not seeing them. 

I would love to see a change. And even the bookstores, you know, maybe there is a mission to really focus on indie publishers. And all right, we've got this black book section. Maybe we just have an independent publisher section where now you can find books that maybe you wouldn't typically find in the store because they're not traditionally published, but they're very high quality, very excellent books. And now you have a means to discover some of these books that you wouldn't have found otherwise. 

Mindy: So true. It's an uphill battle and you've got two hills there because, I'm familiar with indie publishing and how very very very difficult it is to get eyeballs on your book. It literally is just a matter of in some cases money, you gotta spend money to make money, but you can dump money into ads and it can help, but a lot of people don't have the ability to do that upfront. And that's a major key, especially for an indie author or a self published author to grow awareness. Because like you're saying they don't have a space in your traditional bookstore. 

The other part of your battle there in just making these books visible is of course the race question, but also it's so difficult to market. You're not targeting the Children themselves, you are targeting the parents, librarians, educators. It's very, very hard in terms of tweaking and ads, knowing where to put your ad space, things like that. When it comes to indie publishing and Children's indie publishing, you're not even marketing directly to your readers, a kid. You don't have that moment where a kid sees something and says Mommy Daddy or look I want this. That's what drives parents spending when the kid says, I want this. What a difficult space to be in. 

Crystal: It's very difficult. And you mentioned ads and even when you look at buying ads, let's say they're for Facebook or they’re for Amazon or wherever they are. You have another difficulty there because a lot of these pay per play, a lot of these ads, companies are not letting you, they're no longer letting you target your audience by race.

Mindy: Really?? 

Crystal: Mm hmm. Yeah. So Facebook used to let you target by race. People were using it for nefarious means. You know there's always somebody doing something horrible, right? There are kind of ways to get around it by just targeting magazines or things that you think a black person might read, right? Or tv shows you think only black people will watch. There are some ways that you can kind of get around it. But because of that it makes it even more difficult to target the actual audience that is more likely to purchase. So you don't want to just run ads and waste clicks or run ads and end up getting, you know, the negative comments from the non black people who are like how dare you publish a book with the black character, you know? So even running ads can be difficult. 

It's very tough. It really is and it's something I've been trying to figure out for myself. You know what is the best way? This is something I'm actively tackling. What is the best way, what will resonate the most to get these books greater discoverability? Honestly, it's very stressful. But I am happy that we do have more and more people who are publishing books and who are publishing books with black characters. Even if they are independent publishers, the books still exist and that's half the battle. And now it's just getting people to know that these books exist and then going from there. 

Mindy: Do you have any aspirations for reaching out to the larger publishing industry, the traditional Big Five? Or have you just found that those particular doors and windows aren't as perhaps open as they should be? 

Crystal: So I don't have any aspirations of reaching out. If one of the Big Five were to reach out to me, then I would be very happy to discuss whatever they wanted to discuss and see where we could go from there. But for me, when I look at what they're publishing, that pretty much tells me all I need to know. It tells me that they're not interested in publishing the quantity of diverse books that should be on the market. And I'm not one to beg for a seat at the table. I'm going to make my own table, right? I don't even want to sit at the table. I don't want to bring a chair, I'm just gonna build my own table. 

And so that's what I've done. It's been going extremely well. And I think that's one of the things a lot of people don't realize is that self publishing now is something that you can do and you can be very successful at. Yes, it does take work, but you can actually earn a very nice living by self publishing. So you don't have to be so worried about, let's say you did try to get your manuscript picked up and it never did get picked up. Well, okay, have you ever considered self publishing your book? Because a lot of the books that we write, our books are so important and books that can can really and truly change lives and have an impact. So, I hate hearing about people who are so afraid of self publishing because oh, it's not a real book or it's not considered to be as important or as high quality as the others. I hate that people let that bias hold them back from actually putting out the book that they wrote and that could actually change lives. 

Mindy: I agree, completely. Self publishing has changed dramatically. There is still some bias out there. But 10, 15 years ago, very much the concept of self publishing was that these were the people that couldn't make it. That wasn't true then, and it's certainly not true now. You can find some really great stuff. And unfortunately, like we talked about, that is where you might find more of the multicultural and the representation. Because some big five publishers, if not all, are maybe just ticking a box when they're releasing their winter titles or their spring titles. And you've got your one black kids book for this season. In the meantime, there are probably a proliferation of them out there, self published, indie published online. 

You were talking about doing festivals. So, tell me a little bit about that. Like with your publishing company, Goldest Karat publishing, Is that a shingle for your own books? You mentioned you have a Facebook page that you help encourage other authors to get their Children's books with diversity out into the world and to be created in the first place. Do you accept submissions or is that a shingle for your own titles? 

Crystal: So, it started out that I would accept submissions. I published my first book through Goldest Karat Publishing, and then I published a couple of other books from a professor at Howard University. Then I decided that I didn't like it. I decided that I didn't like it because when you publish someone else now, you need to Take royalties right? A pretty significant amount of royalties. It ends up being like around 40 or 50% or sometimes higher. 

And what I didn't like about that was one, of course you're fronting all the expenses of publication. But if your author is not doing any work to really promote the books, then you can end up losing money. It just seems very, very risky. So, like, they end up with the book, but you might not actually end up recouping your investment. And then of course, the part about having to maintain for the rest of my life, having to track royalties and send a royalty check. 

And especially at the time, because I guess this was around probably around 2014 that I took on a client and published their book. And at that time there was really no good royalty tracking system. Everything was very outdated, nothing was automated, you know, where you can just connect to Paypal and send out the money or whatever. So I shut that down. Now, Goldest Karat publishing is basically what I use for all of my own books. 

So then after that, I decided, okay, I'm not going to actually run a publishing company where people publish through my company. Now, I'm going to help people self publish through their own company. What that looked like is people would send me their manuscript, they would hire me to bring their book to life, but then their book would be uploaded and sold online and they would get to maintain 100% of their royalties. There was no cut. Like after the book was out, that was it. I did that for a few years, very successfully published a lot of people's books. And it was good, until it wasn't. Because it's something that you can't really scale. It’s very hard to have so many different clients and you're dealing with so many different illustrators and client expectations. And so in 2020, I took my last client and pretty much wrapped them up around the end of the year. 

So what I do now, I basically teach other people how to do the process that I did, that clients paid me to do, right? So instead of you having to pay me $4500 to publish your children's book, I'm going to teach you how to do this entire process yourself. So instead of you paying me, you can save that money and then you can get your book published for much less than that if you need to. It's all based on different people's budgets. But I find that that made it more accessible for people Who maybe didn't have $4500. 

The other thing is I encourage people to publish as many books as possible. That's how you get to the real money in publishing. It's not by publishing one book, it's by publishing numerous books. And so for me, the thought of someone having to pay me thousands of dollars for every single book that they wanted to publish. I didn't like it, it just didn't sit well with me. 

So that's when I created this group and started doing things like free challenges. And that's how I got a lot of people into the group, as I would do these free challenges and I would teach them for five days for free, the step by step process to publishing their book. And then after that if they wanted to take my course, get more information, more advanced information they could. But a lot of people have been publishing off of the free content that I provide. So that makes me really happy. Out of all the different means that I've tried as far as working in the publishing industry. This is my favorite way of empowering women to publish their own books on their own terms. 

Mindy: That's awesome. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I also do freelance editing on the side. I have a single where I help people just with the actual content of novels. It's funny to me how connected you can feel to the work once you've been in it, even though it's not yours. There are times when I'll be working with someone and they'll ask me like, you know, would you look at this again and you know, it's not cheap. And so there are times when I feel bad taking people's money, but you know, at the same time obviously this is a business that I am trying to make a living off of. Last thing, why don't you share with us, specifically the Facebook group, how to find it, what the name is, how to join. But then also where people can find you online and where listeners can find your books. 

Crystal: Sure. So, well I have a long name, so I'm going to apologize in advance for that. All of my books can be found, my handle everywhere is @CSwainBates. So I'll spell it. It's C S W A I N B A T E S. It's my first initial and my last name without the hyphen. 

Now I did make it easier for my Facebook group. The group is called Six Figure Self Publishing Secrets. And you can actually access it easily by just typing in Crystal on FB - Facebook. Crystal on FB and that group will pop right up. So far, we're at over 6000 members strong, it’s very exciting to be in the group. And if you're interested in finding any of my courses you can find those at publish with Crystal dot com

Mindy: That all sounds wonderful. I am sitting here thinking about what your workday must look like and I'm sure it is overwhelming.

Crystal: My work day... It really can be a lot. But I feel like there's author Crystal Swain Bates, book coach and motivator publishing expert Crystal Swain Bates. There's diversity, Publishing pro Crystal Swain Bates, to write all these things and talk to all these people about publishing and diversity and then there's entrepreneur Crystal Swain Bates because I'm always kind of working on something new. So it can be a lot to do. But the thing is when you love what you're doing, none of it feels like work. My days could be busy, but it doesn't feel like work, it just feels like, well I have lots of things on my calendar today, but I love it, I love it, I love it. And seeing the impact for me is really what makes it all worth it.

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.

Laura Hankin On Female Power & A Special Place For Women

Mindy: Welcome to Writer Writer Pants on Fire, where authors talk about things that never happened to people who don't exist. We also cover craft, the agent hunt, query trenches, publishing, industry, marketing and more. I'm your host, Mindy McGinnis. You can check out my books and social media at mindymcginnis dot com and make sure to visit the Writer Writer Pants on Fire blog for additional interviews, query critiques and more as well as full transcriptions of each podcast episode. at WriterWriterPants on Fire.com. And don’t forget to check out the Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire Facebook page. Give me feedback, suggest topics you’d like to hear discussed, and let me know if there is someone you’d love to see a a guest.

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Mindy: We are here with Laura Hankin and she is going to tell us about her new book, A Special Place for Women which came out on May 11, and it's about an elite women's only society that might have have a darker agenda going on. So why don't you just start by telling us a little bit about the book? 

Laura: Thank you for having me. So yeah, in A Special Place for Women a journalist named Jillian, she's not in a good place, she has just lost her job at the new media journalism company that she was working for. Her mom recently died. She's about to turn 30 and she just feels like she's so Far behind and she needs a big story to make her name. And so she decides that she's going to infiltrate this secret women only social club for the New York Millennial Elite. 

There are all these rumors about them, you know that membership dues cost $1,000 a month. That Rihanna stops by... maybe they even elevated and picked the first female mayor of New York. And then when she came for their fortunes brought her down. And so Jillian has never considered herself a club person, doesn't have a ton of female friends, but decides that she's going to get herself invited into this club and then take them down from the inside, only to realize once she's being drawn in that these women might be far more powerful than she ever expected. 

Mindy: It's interesting to me to take obviously a feminist stance at the same time, highlight possible problems with power in general. It reminds me of a book called The Power. Have you read that?

Laura: I have. It is so good.

Mindy: The Power by Naomi Alderman, which is an amazing book. For my listeners. It's about women suddenly develop the ability to deliver electric shocks through their hands, which means that they can defend themselves, but also get aggressive if they want to. And what's so fascinating about it is not so much about the power of being able to do this, but it's about the fact that power itself is corrupting. So women end up behaving exactly like men with power. And so I think it's interesting to talk about that a little bit and how perhaps this club in the book, this feminism move isn't necessarily actually serving the people that it was supposed to be in place for. 

Laura: Yeah, that's a great question. And it's great that you brought up The Power because I do think that has a very similar message to this book in some ways, although I think hopefully my book is a little bit more hopeful and slightly lighter. It gets dark. The Power  was pretty tough to read in some parts, but so so good. 

Yeah. I think that there is this sense that like, oh if women just ruled the world, all of our problems would be fixed and everything would be better. But I think that the most feminist thing is to acknowledge that women are people and some people are good and some people are bad. And it's really easy when you all of a sudden have a lot of power to let it make you do things that you didn't think that you would do before you had it. 

And so I wanted to explore that in this book. And I was really interested by this rise of these women-only coworking spaces and networking spaces for a while there when they were first popping up. I think everybody was like, wow, what wonderful feminist utopias, How lovely that these things exist and provide a safe space for women. What happens when women take power and are basically just using it in the same way as men have always used it rather than trying to reconfigure what power is? 

For example, it's sort of like how do you as a woman fight your way to the top? It's not really like how do you as a woman - while hopefully getting to the top - make sure that other women are being lifted up as well? 

Mindy: This is something that I have certainly come across in the publishing world, never in a truly heinous way, but you do have a mindset whether it's true or not - I mean, unfortunately, it may be that there are only so many slots for women and once we start scrambling amongst each other for those slots of power, wherever they might be, whatever industry. 

And I think this is honestly where society has done its most damage to women is teaching us to view each other as a competition. And that's true not only in any type of business world, but also of course in the big mating game of who wins a man. It's a really powerful tool that we've been taught to tear each other down and to always be on the lookout for your competitor. That's a wonderful way to keep women fighting amongst themselves. And the patriarchy doesn't have to do any work. 

Laura: Classic move for the people in power to turn the people who are a little bit less in power against one another so that they just go ahead and fight each other and the people at the top can continue to glide along. 

Mindy: How does that play into A Special Place for Women

Laura: So Jillian, the reporter going into this group of women, she doesn't think very highly of them. I think she feels like they have basically just reinforced these structures and they, instead of discriminating against people because of gender, they're discriminating in other ways, like through class and through race. And Jillian is a middle class, lower middle class to middle class. She feels very much like she does not belong with these women that they might look down on her to get herself into the club. She has to kind of make up a bunch of impressive things about herself.

And one of them, she is like, okay, my childhood friend Rath has become a celebrity chef and you know, he's this impressive man and so I need him to pretend to be my boyfriend basically so that these women will pay attention to me. Because still I feel like the most impressive thing that I can do is be a powerful man's girlfriend. It does work like that in some ways is her in to the club, that people are like, oh, this powerful man has deemed you worthy. We should take a closer look at you.

Mindy: That’s particularly painful, but true. That's something that I don't think has faded in everyday life for most women. I mean I can say as someone that is well divorced at least once and having been through a couple of long term relationships that failed. You do kind of lose your value in terms of being single. There's that question of wait -  you're successful, you're passably attractive. You don't have a horrific personality, like what, what is going on that you can't keep a man. 

Laura: Uh huh. The good thing is that Jilian gets into the club. I think she feels like, oh, there are so many ways in which it's really nice to be in this group of women and not not have to worry about some jerk coming over and trying to make demands or playing up things to me and trying to hit on me. But at the same time, in some ways I almost feel more nervous and it feels harder to prove myself because like it's not just about how I look at it, it's this whole package thing of like, am I interesting enough and full enough? Am I warm enough? 

Mindy: That's a really interesting point because we've definitely been taught what our tools are as women and they are usually tools that you use on men. I think that's a really interesting point. We are in a situation with other women relying on actual goodwill and connection. You know, we talk about locker room talk of course, and that's usually associated with men. But as a female athlete, we have our own... I wouldn't necessarily call it locker room talk but we have our own locker room environment. There's a lot of like female power there, but it's also just like it is an aggressive jockeying environment but it's specifically female oriented.

One of my books is Heroine, it's about an opioid addict, but she's also a female athlete and I wrote female locker room scenes. I can't tell you how many people - how many female athletes - have reached out to me and but like that was so refreshing because we do have that. We're not just braiding each other's hair and putting on mascara. It's like we have our own environment. We act differently when there aren't men around. 

And I've always been amused... I work in a high school and the middle school, but specifically with high schoolers, I've always been interested to watch the behavior of boys, especially that age range and how it changes when there's a female present. And of course being a female and of course an adult, they aren’t in their natural space when I'm there. So you know, they changed just by being observed. I help out with the cross country team and I was on a canoe trip with them and I had already made it back to the turnaround point. So I was waiting on a ridge. I was just chilling out, reading a book or whatever and two of the canoes with the boys were coming back and they were just like flat out Lord of the Flies shit. 

I was there and they didn't know I was watching them and it was so amazing to just watch them being boys because they were climbing out, you know, being boys, without knowing that there was a female observer and they were completely different...  everything about them and of course, again, I'm an adult, so they're going to act differently around me anyway, but not knowing that I was there. Oh my God, it was so funny. I was just transported by being able to have the experience of watching boys be boys and not worried about anything. Women don't, I don't think we have quite as much freedom in that way. 

Laura: Well, yeah, I think that women have to kind of, they might have the same instincts, but they have to kind of cover it up with this idea of like, oh yes, we're braiding each other's hair, we're putting on mascara, et cetera. Like we're being kind to each other, we can't Lord of the Flies each other in the same way. Still games are going on, they just might be going on more under the surface. And so they're like all these layers to it. And I don't want to say manipulation necessarily because I don't want to be like, girls are so sneaky and boys aren't. Because obviously that's a huge generalization. But yeah, I do think that perhaps it's more creative. It definitely can be. 

Mindy: It's more subversive, I think. 

Laura: Yeah, there are a lot of different dynamics going on right there, and how do I ride these waves and make everybody like me while still also getting ahead? 

Mindy: I was reading a book, it was written by a man, but I could tell that he either had a lot of sisters or that he grew up with mostly female friends because there was a scene just between two females and they were teenagers. I think they might have been sisters, I don't remember. Or there was like a sleepover and this one girl's like, “I got this zit on my back, I can't reach. Will you pop it for me.?” And I was just like - that is boiled down essential female friendship right there - will you pop this thing I can't reach? I had the opportunity to meet that author. I was like, you had sisters, didn't you? And he started laughing and he's like, yep, he's like, I can't tell you how many times I walked in on them picking at each other's backs and I'm like, yeah, I mean that's the thing. 

Laura: Yeah, there are so many gross things that girls do for each other. It's incredible. 

Mindy: One of your main jobs as friends in high school is  - when I get up to walk to the bathroom and you follow me and let me know if I'm bleeding through. It's like yeah sure. Of course. Yeah, checking spots all the time. It's huge, it's huge. 

Laura: Yeah. And thank God that you have friends who can do that sort of thing for you, whereas you know it's so funny, this whole idea of like, oh guys are such and such. They can do gross stuff. But then there's always this sense of - don't mention to a guy that you're bleeding once a month because that'll freak him out.

Mindy: That does set them back. 

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Mindy: I wanted to talk about your other talent. You are one half of the comedy duo Feminarchy and I want to walk about being a female comic. It seems like that is a particularly male dominated area. 

Laura: It definitely is, although the nice thing is that it has been changing in recent years. But when I was in college, not that long ago, although I guess longer ago than I tend to think… I'm just like, oh yeah, college yesterday! I remember I was in the musical comedy troupe and there was always a boy's number at the end of the show and a girl's number at the end of the show. And I was talking to one of the guys, he'd been assigned to write the girl's number and he was like, this just sucks. It's so hard. Like I wish I'd been assigned to write the boys number because it's just so hard to make women funny. Guys can do all sorts of stuff and be funny, but like the girls number always sucks, because how do you make women funny? And the weird thing was that at the time, as a 19 year old girl, I was sort of like, this feels wrong I think, but I can't articulate a bit and I cannot be like, screw you, what are you talking about? 

That attitude was pervasive for so so long. And then there's been a real fighting back against it in recent years, which is great. And some of our funniest most famous comedians now are women, thank God. So now the people who make the argument of women aren't funny generally the mainstream view now is like, well you haven't been paying attention. Even still we get comments on our Youtube videos sometimes that are like, oh yeah, typical women, not funny. 

Mindy: I don't know when you graduated from college, but I graduated from college in 2001 and I grew up in a rural area. So I was not necessarily around like the most liberated of environments for most of my life. I didn't necessarily subscribe to that idea that women aren't funny, but I was never really seeing any type of push back against it. And I think for me, one of the things that ties into that is just the idea of women, women being loud, women being aggressive. You have to enjoy the spotlight, you have to want the stage, you have to want people to look at you if you're going to be a comedian. And those are all things that women have been taught are unattractive or not a good quality for a woman to have. 

And I remember when I was, I think I was a freshman, I went to a school that has a very, very strong theater program and I did like theater in high school, but when we talk like theater in high school, I mean like the worst possible examples of high school theater. So it was like, I didn't know shit and I went to a heavily like really competitive, people go to broadway all the time, college and I wasn't involved in theater at all because I knew I was way out of my league. 

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But the very first day I went to like a pit show and I forget what they were doing. I forget what the play was, but it was a one act. Everybody shows up at the same time to the same place for the same reason and they've all been duped or whatever. And one of the characters was a woman that thought she was responding to an ad for a dominatrix and it was girl, one of, you know, one of my fellow students who was just tall and loud and over the top and ridiculous and it's like she shows up cracking a whip and being loud and ridiculous and running and you know, wearing a bustier and I'm sitting there, from my little tiny farming community and I'm just like, oh my God, everything she's doing is scary and wrong!! She was by far the star of the show and she was amazing and everyone loved her and she got the loudest applause at the curtain call, but like my initial reaction to her - being raised in a fairly conservative area - it was No! Bad! Wrong! Stop! 

Laura: When I was in high school, I was also a big theater nerd. I remember I always got cast just like sort of boring, sweet romantic lead in the musical, right? Who sings like all the soprano numbers, and I was always desperately looking for a line that I could make a laugh line. I was always trying so hard to make the audience laugh and it just wasn't there in the script, the way that these women were written, you weren't supposed to be able to make the audience laugh because that's not what your character was meant to do. Whereas it felt like the romantic lead men could still be very funny and charming.

Then I remember I got cast in a one act play my junior year, it was Woody Allen one Act, so I don't know if it would be done in high school now. But I was cast as like this sort of dumb sex object who was the comedic lead in some ways because it was so funny that she was like talking about sex stuff on stage. Now I can crack everybody up, but similar to the dominatrix thing, like it still was very related to to sex. 

Mindy: I do think things have changed. Obviously there are a lot of women in the spotlight that are you know, funny women and leading ladies and it has changed. I just know that that was one of my very first moments where - because I was always a feminist, I just didn't know what brand of feminism. It was more like, it was kind of a selfish type of feminism. It was more like - I'm awesome. I just also happened to be girl, right? 

And so in some ways it was a competitive thing because I saw this girl being loud and being abrasive and being obnoxious and being like, just actually tall and big and taking up space and getting all the attention and part of it was no, no, no, no, no, you're not allowed to act like that. But the other part was Goddammit, why aren't I the one up there doing that, right? And so kind of a mixed reaction of like, jealousy while also being like, oh my God, my mom would kill me if I did that. 

Laura: Well, that's funny. That's something that I'm sort of trying to explore in the book is this way. Sometimes admiring another woman, it can feel so confusing because there's so much wrapped up in it, right? It's like jealousy plus admiration. You know, you want to feed them, you want to be their best friend, maybe you kind of want to kiss them, I don't know. And all that really just gets so, so wrapped up altogether. 

And that's the thing that, that Jillian, the protagonist of A Special Place for Women, ends up feeling with a lot of the women that she's encountering in this club, even though she goes from being like, no, I'm going to hate them all. She really gets drawn into them. I think there is a weird - and I don't think it's natural - I do think it's something that we've been taught that there's this pack mentality. There can only be one alpha. 

Mindy: So you're always competing. And if there's someone that's better looking than you or richer than you or funnier than you, or taller, has bigger boobs or whatever it is, you have to find an angle at which you're still better. Whether it's that you know that her boobs are fake or she definitely got an eyebrow lift. You're going to find a handle where you have the upper hand. 

Laura: Mm hmm. Is there ever a world we can create where we can all just love that everybody that we hang out with is so cool in their different ways and not feel that jealousy? 

Mindy: I really, really hope so. But it's hard. It would be nice. It would be a kinder world. That's for sure. I mean, I'm sure that it happens across genders as well. But I mean, I just know that any time I have felt any jealousy or envy, it's always it's always turned toward another female. Which doesn't make me feel good, but it's just there. 

Laura: I know. Yeah. And I think the modern movement towards - let's all get these shirts that are like women supporting women and, let's get the perfect feminist tote bags. The slogans are so wonderful and like, yes, we want to build towards a world where that's the case, but just because you have a tote bag that says, it doesn't mean that you actually feel it or are acting that way. 

Mindy: And it's very possible that a man designed that tote bag and the company you bought it from the CEO is a man. 

Laura: Uh, Yeah, so one of the women-only coworking spaces, that was kind of a model for the club in the book, has since gone under. It's sort of unclear what's happening with Covid, but it was founded by women, but now it's been bought out and the majority stakeholder in it is a man. I just think that's like the saddest thing. I think finding that equilibrium of a group of women where there's no judgment, there's no comparison, there's no jockeying. That is difficult. 

Mindy: I do have that with my friends from college. We actually had a girls weekend this week, past weekend and that's really nice. Like it exists, there's like four or five of us, we stay in touch and we get together and there isn't competition among us, like it truly is just support, all the things that come with a group dynamic. I mean, it can definitely happen, you just have to know when to check yourself, I think. 

Last thing, why don't you let listeners know where they can find the book and where they can find you online? 

Laura: Yeah, so it should be available at any bookstore. You can support your local bookstore and then if you want to find me, I am at Laura Hankin on instagram and Twitter, probably slightly more active on Instagram. My website is www dot laura Hankin dot com. And I have another book that just came out in paperback, Happy and You Know It. So if you need a little something to whet your appetite before getting into A Special Place for Women, you can pick that one up too. 

Mindy: Writer Writer Pants on Fire is produced by Mindy McGinnis. Music by Jack Korbel. Don't forget to check out the blog for additional interviews, writing advice and publication tips at Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com. If the blog or podcast have been helpful to you or if you just enjoy listening, please consider donating. Visit Writer Writer Pants on Fire dot com and click “support the blog and podcast” in the sidebar.